I'm guessing that someone in marketing didn't fully think through the implications of the name before posting these on the website. Available at Hollywood Toys & Costumes.
You say your child was kidnapped? Sorry, but that means you may no longer be able to claim him as a dependent on your taxes. Topic 357 of the tax code provides guidelines for this situation:
You may claim a kidnapped child as your dependent if the following requirements are met:
1. The child must be presumed by law enforcement to have been kidnapped by someone who is not a member of your family or a member of the child's family, and
2. The child had, for the taxable year in which the kidnapping occurred, the same principal place of abode as the taxpayer for more than one-half of the portion of such year before the date of kidnapping.
If both of these requirements are met, the child may meet the requirements for purposes of determining:
* The dependency exemption
* The child tax credit, and
* Head of household or qualifying widow(er) with dependent child filing status.
This tax treatment will cease to apply as of your first tax year beginning after the calendar year in which either there is a determination that the child is dead or the child would have reached age 18, whichever occurs first.
Link provided by Prof. Music who notes: there is cold, and then there is. . . . COLD
For a test, a Wisconsin engineering professor is gonna need some women to try to stick their heads in a toilet, but it's for a good cause, maybe. Associated Press via Appleton Post-Crescent
Orland Park, Ill., police said that Ms. Nour Hadid confessed to beating her 2-yr-old niece to death, but still, her husband said, the real issue here is that the cops insulted Islam by making her take off her hajib for the mug shot. Southtown Star
Serious absent-mindedness: British opera singer Bren Terfel forgot to get dressed before heading off to the show that night (wearing shorts) and had to borrow a fan's pants. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo
The Way The World Works: A 2004 federal tax provision allowed 800 companies to keep about $100 billion away from IRS, with Big Pharma and Big Finance getting about a $220-to$1 bang for their lobbying expenses. Washington Post
The head of the Mobile (Ala.) police underage-drinking task force resigned after being caught drinking with one of the underage entrappers who work for her. Mobile Press-Register
New Hampshire's House of Representatives Wednesday approved (by 1 vote!) a transgender-rights bill. (Bonus: Wednesday was Tartan Day, when Scottish-descent hetero legislators wore kilts to work.) Concord Monitor (Wednesday) ///Concord Monitor (Thursday)
Granny was killed when she tried to break up a fight between her grandson and her brother-in-law (Bonus: a sword fight!). Associated Press via MSNBC
ABC News has just discovered our old friend Mrs. Eiffel (who is married to the Eiffel Tower after realizing she has a sorta heavy-metal fetish). Both Alex and I have been all over this subgroup of weirdos, but if you're new to the concept, here it is. ABC News
I haven't checked all of these out, but London's Mirror has the 10 weirdest Eastertime traditions, and they don't even include the Filipinos who volunteer to get nailed to a cross. The Mirror///Reuters via ABS-CBN (Quezon City, Philippines)
[Jury Duty] Cops need to stop picking on Jennifer Wills, 30, Gresham, Ore. They've arrested her for luring teenagers over for sex even though she's in a wheelchair from a recent auto accident! KATU-TV (Portland)
Today's Newsrangers: Jenny Aus, Jennifer Filipski, Michelle Jensen, Emory Kimbrough, Bob Seidman
An account of the life and death of John Cummings, a man who strove to earn a Darwin Award long before the concept of Darwin Awards existed. Reported in the Chicago Tribune, March 14, 1880:
In the narrative of memorable cases connected with Guy's Hospital there is a curious story of a sailor named John Cummings, who, in a spirit of vulgar brag, and mostly when half intoxicated, swallowed clasp-knives. In 1799 he had seen a French juggler perform the trick of assumedly swallowing knives of that kind at a public entertainment. The feat was so cleverly performed that the spectators -- or at least some of them -- were under the belief that the knives vanished down the throat of the juggler, instead of being put by sleight-of-hand in some part of his dress. The sailor, in his simplicity, was one of the credulous sort, and to astonish his messmates he began to swallow clasp-knives. He at first only swallowed four, which, fortunately for him were expelled, and no inconvenience ensued. He thought no more of knife-swallowing for six years. In March, 1805, when at Boston, he was one day tempted, while drinking with a party of sailors, to boast of his former exploits, and was ready to repeat his performance. A small knife was produced, which he instantly swallowed. In the course of that evening he swallowed five more. The next morning crowds of visitors came to see him, and in the course of the day he was induced to swallow eight knives more, making in all fourteen.
He paid dearly for his frolic; for he was seized with constant vomiting, and pain in the stomach. Taken to a hospital, he was by efficacious medical treatment relieved, as he imagined, of all the knives he had swallowed. But in this he would appear to have been mistaken. Portions of knives undissolved remained in his stomach. The amount of relief, whatever it was, did not cure the poor wretch of his folly. When at Spithead in December, 1805, and somewhat tipsy, he resumed his boastfulness of being able to swallow knives, and to amuse the ship's company swallowed nine clasp-knives, some of them of a large size. Again he became ill, and was in the hands of the ship's surgeon for several months, during which portions of knives were discharged. At length he was admitted as a patient at Guy's Hospital in 1807, and again he came to the hospital in 1808. There he remained, sinking under his sufferings, until March, 1809, when he died in a state of extreme emaciation.
What do you think this license plate says? If you think it says, "I love Tofu" then you think like vegan Kelly Coffman-Lee who tried to order it for her car.
If you think it says, "I love to F.U." then you think like the Division of Motor Vehicles, which denied Coffman-Lee's request. [msnbc.com]
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.
Category: Body, Genitals, Sexuality, Television, Men, Women