What famous sixteenth-century scientist does this passage describe? Answer is in extended (and in the comments).
_________ relates in one of his autobiographies (he wrote three) that he was completely impotent from the age of twenty-one until his marriage at the age of thirty-one; but that after he wed, the union resulted in three children, two boys and a girl...
_________ also suffered from an amazing array of physical problems and ailments, including: stuttering; chronic hoarseness; nasal discharge; heart palpitations; hemorrhoids; indigestion; malaria; gout; chronic itching; hernia; colic; insomnia; dysentery; and a malignant growth on his left nipple. He also had some truly odd physical problems. He wrote that "in 1536 I was overtaken with an extraordinary discharge of urine; and although for nearly forty years I have been afflicted with this trouble, giving from sixty to a hundred ounces a day, I live well."
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Monday
Britain's local councils out of control (1) Lambeth Council (south London) will spend £90k to hire "reflexologists" to deal with unruly adolescents, via such treatment as foot massages. (2) And, by the way, Bournemouth Council issued an edict banning the word "via" (and 18 other Latin terms) because they're too "elitist" and might make people feel bad if they didn't understand them. (3) And a East Cambridge District Council jackbooter closed down a tavern's gentle, half-hour poetry-reading session because the pub had only a "music" license, not a "spoken word" license. Daily Mail///Daily Mail///Daily Telegraph Comments 'british_councils'
She murdered her husband but still might inherit his $1.2m estate
Connecticut law (apparently like other states') has an absolute bar to inheritance only if ya killed the bequeather by 1st or 2nd degree murder. So, theoretically, if you kill a spouse merely by "manslaughter," you're still eligible to cash in, with the decision left up to a probate judge. (The judge might be disinclined to allow this one, seein' as how her methodology was to douse her Mr. Right with gasoline and set him on fire.) Stamford Advocate Comments 'murderer_inherits'
Your Daily Loser
Merle Sorenson, 48, said he drove his Hummer into the Columbia River near Quincy, Wash., because he wanted to see just how far he could get from shore while still being able to back up and get out OK. (Bonus reason: Also, he wanted to clean his tires.) Associated Press via News Tribune (Tacoma) Comments 'merle_sorenson'
Your Daily Jury Duty [no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Was there domestic violence (a death threat, a beating) between Louise Deeringer, 56, and Guy Dugas, 49, over the whereabouts of Louise's false teeth? Tampa Tribune Comments 'deeringer_dugas'
More Things to Worry About on Monday
Can't Possibly Be True: An Austin, Tex., mother tossed her kid out into traffic because mom thought the girl was a "slut." (Bonus: The kid's four years old.) American-Statesman
Britain's worst fighter hung up his gloves after 300 bouts (with 44 wins, including the last one, on Saturday). Wall Street Journal
Shanghai police busted a gambling ring based on cricket matches (no, not the wicket stuff, cricket crickets) and captured the most notorious, um, cricket whisperer, who could coax even the most reluctant ones to brawl. Agence France-Presse via Herald Sun (Melbourne)
A New Jersey middle-schooler was sent home for causing trouble just by showing up on Halloween dress-up day as, er, Jesus Christ. WCBS-TV (New York City)
The child-protection agency in West Australia state is spending A$500k (US$340k) a year on 24/7 care of a particularly risky 14-yr-old, to keep him out of trouble. The Australian
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Monday? Comments 'worry_081103'
What is this a list of? Answer is in extended (and on the comments page).
A prosthetic leg
A diamond-studded wedding ring
12 crosses
A prosthetic ear
800 pieces of jewelry
53 shoes
604 watches
237 cell phones
10 pieces of underwear
Thousands of caps
and the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Friday
Leicester University researchers learned by brain probes that when you recognize a celebrity or landmark, it means that there's a specific cell up there for each ID, like, you may have a "Jennifer Aniston cell," or, I guess, a "Carrot Top cell." Daily Mail
Massachusetts state Sen. Dianne Wilkerson, who's been suspected of cutting corners on all sorts of things for years, was arrested on federal bribery-type charges, caught on video (the prosecutor says) stuffing a $1k payout into her bra. Boston Herald
Your house cat chasing its tail in circles? Break out the Prozac. Dogs and cats do the same OCD things that humans do. MSNBC
A cop directing traffic at an all-day rock concert in a Dallas suburb had his truck stolen at the scene, but fortunately the redneck's escape route took him right past the traffic-director. Dallas Morning News[with guilt-confirming mugshot]
If you're rich and have a horrible phobia (such as of being buried alive), you can address the fear creatively, like building yourself a crypt with food, fresh air, water, and a TV so that if they do make a mistake, you'll survive. Wall Street Journal
Undignified Deaths: A 54-yr-old, longtime "aquaholic" OD'd with a garden faucet (Newbury, England), and an armed robbery suspect accidentally crashed his getaway bicycle, fatally rupturing an artery (Fresno, Calif.). Daily Mail///KSEE-TV (Fresno)
Today's Newsrangers: Sandy Pearlman, Mark Neunder, Bill Wheeler, Candy Clouston, Sam Gaines, Kurt Knochel, Tom Barker, Brendan Brady, Scott Langill, Ken Berkun (and lots 'n' lots who sent in the cop-directing-traffic story) Comments on the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Friday? Comments 'cycle_081031'
Yes, for only $60.00 you can replace the rubber band that's currently wrapped around your driver's license and credit cards with an ACM Wallet, much too bulky to fit into any pocket or purse, but perfect for a Sherpa's knapsack. Imagine the awed look when you whip this out at a restaurant or store.
I imagine the reaction you'd get would look something like this:
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Friday
The ridiculously horny priest Elvis Elano
The New York Catholic diocese is being sued for $25m for Fr. Elano's God-sanctioned trysts with the now-50-yr-old woman, and The Smoking Gun has documents and a hot photo (er, of him, that is). There's also an invoice for way-overpriced mail-order Viagra. The diocese, as is typical over the yrs, immediately cracked down on Fr. Elano . . by, er, transferring him to another parish. The Smoking Gun Comments 'elvis_elano'
Nov. 4th will be interesting, at the polls; Nov. 5th will be even more interesting, in courtrooms
Here's just one slice, from one story: In Madison County, Miss., about one-fifth more people are registered to vote than there are people over age 18 in the county, including 486 people who are 105 yrs old or more. Federal law prevents even legitimate attempts to clean registration lists within 90 days of an election. (This doesn't necessarily mean that a lot of, or even any, fictitious people will be allowed to cast votes, but it does guarantee that if elections are close, there will be lawsuits galore.) WLBT-TV (Jackson) Comments 'november_5th'
Your Daily Loser
Gary Walker is the name of the guy I flagged for you on Tuesday as the cell-phone thief done in by having snapped a downloadable picture of himself with "his" new phone. Turns out he has at least six other warrants outstanding, including shoplifting from a blind merchant. It appears that he's moved along the chain because the cell phone he took was from a deaf woman. Problem: A deaf person can see, and she ID'd him from the photo he snapped. Cincinnati Enquirer Comments 'gary_walker'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
An unnamed man in Denton, Tex., was arrested last week after he shoplifted a "male enhancement" cream at a department store, immediately retreated to the men's room to apply it, and then, newly fortified, he went to the toy section of the store, unzipped, and went on display. Dallas Morning News Comments 'enhancement_cream'
Your Daily Jury Duty [no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
He's 19 and allegedly already into moonshine. (Bonus [that I order you to ignore!]: He's the son of actor Bill Pullman.) Asheville Citizen-Times Comments 'moonshine_pullman'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
A de-licensed chiropractor-landlord in Hawaii was accused by impoverished tenants of performing free-lance, experimental "stem cell" injections all over their bodies, including the eyes (under threat of eviction if they declined). Honolulu Advertiser
A straight-A high school student in southern Israel, striving for authenticity in a class project, dressed up like a terrorist to check out people's (and police's) reactions! BBC News
New world record . . for most cosmetic surgeries on one woman (100) (cost: the equivalent today of $875k). Daily Mail (London)
Chutzpah! A county employee in Montana pleaded guilty to pocketing $40k in gov't and community funds (and is being sued for pocketing $118k more than that), but the important thing, he now demands in a counterclaim, is that he wants the salary and bennies he "earned" while sitting out the period of investigation. Montana Standard (Butte)
During particularly explicit testimony at a sexual assault trial in Napanee, Ontario, this week (i.e., "I was forced into a threesome" versus "No, you loved it"), the key prosecution witness laid her credibility on the line when she swore the coach has three testicles. The Star (Toronto)
It says here that a suspected DUI driver near Osternarke, Sweden, offered up a defense to the cop that she was trying so hard to drive carefully, even going to the trouble of keeping one eye closed, to prevent her from seeing double. The Local (Stockholm)
It's Halloween year-round in Japan, what with scary supernaturals like the filth licker, the demon hag, a raccoon dog with huge testicles, the slash-mouth woman, and kappa (a monster who is notably flatulent). Washington Post
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Friday? Comments 'worry_081031'
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
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Category: Quizzes, Guess the Scientist, Science