and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Friday
British gov't in action: welfare-state horror
It says here that these two couples, who live two miles apart in Hull and have 10 kids each, are different. The Tates get by on a truck driver's salary (£15k) plus an undisclosed "child benefit"; the Cromptons don't work but receive gov't benefits and supports totaling £32k (that would require a taxable salary of £46.5k to clear). Mrs. Crompton said she might work if she found a job that paid her enough (even though she has a couple of medical problems, including irritable bowel syndrome). Daily Mail Comments 'tates_cromptons'
Burglary of beauty shop, but police haven't quite settled on the motive
Frederic Koetter, 42, was arrested in Baldwin County, Ala., and charged with the B & E, and OK, he was dressed like a woman, including heels and a blonde wig, but no, he didn't take anything, and yes, he did say he was only interested in checking out his look in the shop's mirrors, and yes, his get-up did make him look very much like the woman who owns the beauty shop. We report, you decide. WPMI-TV (Mobile) Comments 'frederic_koetter'
Your Daily Loser
The reason Chad Rummel, 26, allegedly broke into a Burger King in Bismarck, N.D., seems to be that he wanted some BK uniform parts (and a few rolls of tape). KFYR-TV (Bismarck) Comments 'chad_rummel'
Your Daily Jury Duty (an end-of-week tripleheader!) [no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
(1) Bonnie Yonkowski, 51, might have tried to shoplift a bottle of vodka from an F State liquor store. Port St. Lucie News
(2) Maximo Torres-Velazquez, 60, might possibly be guilty of five counts of animal cruelty (but as you can see from this story, even if he is guilty, he may avoid arrest). Southtown Star (Joliet, Ill.)
(3) Say it's not so! Bernice Moses, 50, and Myrtle Baker, 54, have been charged with stealing stuff from their hospitalized, mentally- and physically-disabled sister. WPVI-TV (Philadelphia) Comments 'juryduty_tripleheader'
More Things to Worry About on Friday
It's good to be a British prisoner (continued): Boy, 13 at the time, stabbed another in the back, sending him to death's door, yet he smirked during his hearing, which means only one thing in Britain: probation! Daily Mail
Another "left the baby in the car" story, but with these enhancements: The car was unlocked; mom was inside, doing a pole dance; dad was waiting for her to finish her shift and getting a lap dance to pass the time. Myrtle Beach (S.C.) Sun News
James Bevel, a 1960s civil rights leader who was part of Dr. Martin Luther King's inner circle, was sentenced to 15 years in prison for having sex with his underage daughter. Washington Post[LINK CORRECTED]
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Friday? Comments 'worry_081017'
From the work of Dr. Harrison Pope, a Harvard psychiatrist, comes this illustration of the evolution of G.I. Joe dolls. On the left is the original G.I. Joe from 1964, with relatively normal body proportions. Over the years, the dolls grew progressively more muscular until finally, on the far right, we arrive at a recent version of the doll, "G.I. Joe Extreme." Pope is trying to establish a connection between the toys and an increase in "body-image disturbances" among men.
and the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Thursday
A 77-yr-old man in western Quebec was killed when a tombstone fell on him at St. Gregoire Cemetery. CBC News via Yahoo
The mayor of Auckland, New Zealand, earnestly seeking to reassure the city's homeless of his compassion, said they had "every right" to live in the city, but then he added, er, so do "stray cats."New Zealand Herald
Britain's Nat'l Health Service trust in East Yorkshire said it planned to spend £400,000 to purchase a . . yacht, in order to coax 150 teenagers a year to good health by teaching them productive work habits manning the vessel up to Scandinavia and back. [Ed.: No, that's the basic plan. That's it. Not much more to it.] The Times (London)
Iran's not so nuclear-anxious that they don't have time to also make the world's biggest ostrich sandwich tomorrow in Tehran, to promote the efficiently-healthful meat that comes from the country's 130 ostrich farms. The Guardian (London)
Squirrels gone wild: In Redding, Calif., a squirrel shorted out a power line, caught fire, and fell into dry vegetation, necessitating 18 firefighters to tame the blaze. And in Springfield, Ill., a decorated Iraq vet, 6-foot-4, roadside-bomb survivor, got jumped by a squirrel and gnawed on (after he taunted it by making "squirrel noises"). Fox News///Springfield Journal-Register
A Louisiana woman was arrested after, allegedly, she saw her daughter's former boyfriend on the street while driving around, then stopped and backed up to get close to him, then fired a blast with a .410 shotgun at him (but missed) and drove away. (Bonus: When arrested, she kicked out the patrol car window all by herself.) WWL Radio (New Orleans)
In Cornwall county, England, a horse nibbled too many fermented apples and embarrassed himself by staggering into a swimming pool, where he had to be rescued. Daily Telegraph
Professor Music's Weird Link o' the Day
You know that we want y'all to get healthier as a result of reading Weird Universe, so you might consider joining 2/3 of humanity and start squatting on the toilet instead of sitting. If you do, here's what you need, with very helpful FAQs. NaturesPlatform.com
Today's Newsrangers: Perry Levin, Mark Svevar, Peter Swank, Steve Bellovin, Joe Littrell, Jan Lewis, Rand Eller, Nancy Cooper Comments on the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Thursday? Comments 'cycle_081016'
A rock band composed entirely of famous groupies? Such were the GTO's, an acronym for Girls Together Outrageously, and brainchild of Frank Zappa. Unlike, say, the Pussycat Dolls, at least they were honest about their pasts.
Here's their song "The Ghost Chained To The Past, Present and Future (Shock Treatment)," delivered over a series of stills.
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Thursday
The delusional "sovereignty" of Joel and Donna Brinkle
In the 1990s, they "dropped out" of the U.S. by declaring themselves a sovereignty, right there in Seminole County, near Orlando. No taxes. Print their own money. Claim anyone's property they think they deserve. And they're relentless, even though Joel went to prison for a while, and even though they live in a dump because they've been ejected from every place they tried to claim. You'd think they'd have reconsidered some of this over the years, but no, there's Donna smiling broadly for this story, still feeling terribly oppressed. Finally, though, the state is cracking down. Orlando Sentinel Comments 'delusional_sovereignty'
Another one of those "don't tell anyone momma's dead so we can keep cashing her Social Security checks" stories—plus!
The adult daughter and adult grandson might have burned up momma's body on the homemade barbecue, and the necklace the daughter was wearing might have been part of momma's skull. [Ed.: "might" because we won't know for sure until these mugshots are checked!] Redding Record-Searchlight (Redding, Calif.) Comments 'momma_barbecued'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
For a change of pace, here's someone with a much better sex life, sort of: Lynne Stewart, of West Melbourne, Fla. (though she confessed that she was "not proud" that she had sex with 21 different men that weekend). (Oh, no, she is not a prostitute, said police Cmdr. Steve Wilkinson. "No, she just likes sex.") (Bonus: The 21st man that weekend died in the saddle, of a heart attack, and she's been charged with stealing his stuff. "I thought he was just tired," she said.) WESH-TV (Orlando) Comments 'lynne_stewart'
Your Daily Jury Duty [no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Daisy Alfonso, 34, and what a perky little daisy! (Well, except for the fact that she might be a man.) She's charged with trying to fence three stolen exotic snakes at a pet shop. Naples Daily News Comments 'daisy_alfonso'
More Things to Worry About on Thursday
Perhaps (right now, the FAA is investigating) an air traffic control supervisor sent an airliner into a dangerous thunderstorm for the sole purpose of giving a new controller some experience. FirstCoastNews.com (Jacksonville)
The "messiah" (Wayne Bent, Clayton, N.M.) goes to trial next month for trying to heal young girls (the law calls it "molesting"). Wayne has warned that prosecution of him will bring God's wrath upon New Mexico. (Bonus: He starts a total fast Oct. 31, so God may get him before the state) KOB-TV (Albuquerque)
Nadim Khoury, 49, of the West Bank, has a better plan for prosperity than Hamas or the Israeli gov't: beer! He's set up a microbrewery in Taybeh, and most Muslims don't seem to mind. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo
A guy who was formerly Mr. Gay UK, now a chef, is on trial in Leeds for murdering a hookup, and of course, cooking him. He said it was self-defense, not murder, but he did admit to lightly frying and sampling a piece of the dead guy's leg. "At some point Damian's body had just become something I would deal with at work—a piece of meat. [T]hat was my daily task, preparing meat." The Sun
Some college alumni will get excited about anything with their school's name on it, including colognes. Masik Collegiate Fragrances ($60 a bottle) features eight party schools right now (and they're real fragrances, not "stale beer"). News & Observer (Raleigh)
That Michigan high school nude cell-phone photo thing is about to pop. A girl (age 14), just goofing around, sent a picture of her way-private part to a couple of friends, and it's viral (the photo, not the private part), with authorities threatening to bust all the recipients for possession of child porn (200 or more, even the ones who got them unsolicited) and her for making it. Daily Press & Argus (Howell, Mich.)
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Thursday? Comments 'worry_081016'
Brit Kevin Pyle won some sort of contest for the laziest bloke in some-such place, and I'd certainly vote for him, too: The way he walks his dog is by driving his car around very slowly, leading the dog by leash out the window. Daily Telegraph
Recurring Theme: Another senior (age 90) who screwed up the gas pedal and the brake, except this one was fatal (Bonus: She was driving a brand-new Dodge Challenger) WPLG-TV (Miami)
The economic downturn in New York City has hit the dominatrix industry, and parlor owners are considering organizing a political action committee to get their views before the gov't (DomPAC). New York Post
The new Webber Int'l University near Lakeland, Fla., is all-business, all the time. In fact, they just got $6k from a local trucking company for the naming rights to the campus's sewage-treatment plant. The Ledger
There's a certain logic here: Employees of Britain's West Suffolk Hospital needing physiotherapists hire them privately, at gov't expense (instead of going through the Nat'l Health Service, which has lengthy delays for physiotherapy). But they deserve such special treatment, they say, because they need to get back to work quickly so they can resume treating patients. But still—. Daily Telegraph
Professor Music's Weird Link o' the Day
Probably Not Safe For Work™ and definitely Not Safe for Stomachs: Dermnet.com, the Skin Disease Image Atlas, with 23,867 photos of things you don't want to come down with. Dermnet.com
Today's Newsrangers: Jon Doughtie, Mark Neunder, Bob Adams, Candy Clouston, Ginger Katz, Kenneth Wright Comments on the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Wednesday? Comments 'cycle_081015'
Jenny submitted a "name that list" challenge. So here goes. What is this a list of?
Plastic fake swords, golf clubs, a hammer, cordless drill, kitchen knives stolen from restaurants, a bowling pin, a chain saw, circular saws, ninja swords, nunchucks, mini Louisville Slugger bats, machetes, a deer-hunting kit, fuzzy handcuffs, crutches, ulus (round Eskimo chopping blades), a Sit'n Putt (a short-handled putter designed to be used while you're on the potty), piñata sticks, and 25 lbs of Swiss Army knives.