and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Wednesday
Scott Bennett, the world's worst barroom brawler
Three months ago, he got beaten up at the Mavericks bar in Sioux City, Iowa, and lost an eye. Sunday, he got beaten up again at Mavericks and is now blind in the other one. Sioux City Journal Comments 'worst_brawler'
Another law of thermodynamics: No matter what, CEO's will find a way to pay themselves the big bucks
On top of all those AIG posh executive retreats, there's news now that three days before Lehman Brother went belly-up, the board of directors voted $100m worth of payouts to execs, including about $25m in severance pay. Now, the New York Times finds pessimism over the effectiveness of the pay restrictions in the latest bailout legislation (which were prompted by national outrage over "golden parachutes"). (Contrary: In a survey, 2/3 of chief financial officers said CEO's in general are overpaid . . but not their own company's CEO, where the number's only 1/4.) The Times (London) ///New York Times///Portfolio.com Comments 'executive_payouts'
Your Daily Jury Duty [no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Diane Parish, 55, might have clunked a guy in the head with a beer bottle during a discussion of exactly who had more stroke (Jesus Christ or Diane's daughter) for getting Diane into heaven. TCPalm.com Comments 'diane_parish'
More Things to Worry About on Wednesday
Security at Tampa Int'l Airport arrested incoming passenger Robert Christianson, who went quietly . . on a fugitive warrant . . from Canada . . for not licensing his dog. Tampa Tribune
A 45-yr-old nun who was dismissed from a nunnery in northern Greece (clash with the mother superior!) went to court to demand the equivalent of about $325k for 23 yrs of back pay for all the grunge work she did. Agence France-Presse via Reuters
As usual with public opinion polls, what's interesting is not what's at the top, but what's at the bottom: 10 percent of Americans, I guess, think the country's on the right track. ABC News
Burundi is the latest African country with albinos an endangered class (hunted down for their blood, organs, and limbs, which are highly prized by sorcerers because somehow using them in rituals enhances sorcerers' credibility). Agence France-Presse via News24.com (Johannesburg)
Imagine Kobe Bryant getting a moderately long suspension from the NBA, and Jack Nicholson protesting that by becoming a monk. Well, superfan Mei Nansheng just headed off in disgust to the Shaolin Temple to change his life after a Chinese soccer league suspended star player Li Weifeng. Reuters via Yahoo
German boxing champion Vitali Klitschko claims that he pampers his fists by, er, wrapping them in his baby's diapers (wet diapers, as in "used") Reuters via Yahoo
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Wednesday? Comments 'worry_081015'
e-MANcipate describes itself as "a project to accelerate the acceptance of male pantyhose as a regular clothing item."
Why should guys wear pantyhose? "To improve athletic performance, energize and revitalize tired, aching leg muscles, and to stimulate circulation if they sit all day."
But what if you're shy and embarrassed about wearing pantyhose? "you can always show that you are wearing support pantyhose, and just give some reasons - your legs were tired or problematic in other ways. This is especially accepted if you need to stand or sit all day long, and for sports using your legs."
and the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Tuesday
Recurring Theme: We're not in a barter economy yet, so don't expect McDonald's to accept dope as payment for a burger and fries. Associated Press via Yahoo
Your honor (said the defense lawyer), the rape my client committed obviously had no traumatic effect on the woman, as you can plainly see by these Facebook photos of her laughing and carrying on (er, 2008 photos; 2001 rape; 2003 suicide attempt) Daily Mail (London)
The British gov't loses not just laptops and computer disks; the Rural Affairs department lost track of 20,979 cows they were tracking. Daily Telegraph
An animal rights activist is so hardcore that she's now officially changed her name, to CutoutDissection.com, or, as North Carolina now knows her, "Dissection.com, Cutout." Associated Press via New York Times
Chris Lavis is being sought by police Santa Rosa, Calif., in the death of his mother, but in Chris's defense, police believe that right after the mother's killing, Chris dropped her cat off at the vet to make sure it got cared for. Press Democrat
Professor Music's Weird Link o' the Day
There are at least 27 kinds of professional human-anatomy kits used by students to practice surgeries and other treatments ("Medical Manikins"). For example, there's a special one to practice CPR on an overweight person, and one called the "maternal and neonatal simulator." Oobject.com
Today's Newsrangers: Emory Kimbrough, David Melcher, Rae Augenstein, Candy Clouston, John Holsinger, Christopher Nalty, Sandy Pearlman, Phil Daley Comments on the Afternoon Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Tuesday? Comments 'cycle_081014'
and the Morning Edition of Chuck's News of the Weird Daily for Tuesday
Banjo-pickin' in the OR at Vanderbilt Medical Center
Some brain-surgery patients have to remain conscious during the operation so that doctors can tell if they're fooling around in the correct area or not, and if the patient can speak, or add and subtract, etc., it guides the doctors. (Supposedly, no pain.) So renowned picker Eddie Adcock, whose career was threatened because of hand tremors that surgeons were trying to stop via brain re-wiring, brought his banjo in and picked a note here and there to let doctors know they had the right wires. BBC News (video) Comments 'banjo_surgery'
Your Daily Loser
Now here's Mr. Travis Fessler, the best use of whose time, he believed, was going for the record of how many Madagascar hissing cockroaches he could put in his mouth at the same time. (Answer: 11) Cincinnati Enquirer Comments 'travis_fessler'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
And we have the lush stylings of glamour photographer Mariano Torres, who specializes in the low-light genre of "upskirt," except his career has been interrupted by the fact that his 14-yr-old model, inadvertently, was the daughter of a cop. WKMG-TV (Orlando) Comments 'mariano_torres'
Your Daily Jury Duty [no fair examining the evidence; verdict must be based on mugshot only]
Therese Batson, 44, and her obviously-biological son, William Cook, 23, charged with hiring a hit man to 86 her boyfriend and his brother, with a down payment of 29 Xanaxes. Palm Beach Post Comments 'therese_batson'
More Things to Worry About on Tuesday
It says here that these two Indonesian guys got tricked into getting ugly face tattoos on the belief that the gov't was hiring men with, especially, face tattoos. Ninemsn.com (Sydney)
Sumo Sammy won a medal, making Aussies proud. It's Samantha-Jane Stacey, 14, a sumo wrestling prodigy (286 lbs., maybe more). Courier-Mail (Brisbane) ///photo gallery///The Sun (London)
"I am the famous Wang Hao!" (exclaimed the Olympics silver medalist in table tennis, when the security guard tried to stop him from peeing outside the karaoke club). (Wang's coach said he'd have a talk with him.) Reuters via Yahoo
Tennessee dad Mark Ciptak named his new baby girl "Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak" instead of "Ava Grace Ciptak," and signed the birth certificate. (Bonus: As of Sunday, he hadn't informed Mrs. Ciptak!) Kingsport Times News
Comments on More Things to Worry About on Tuesday? Comments 'worry_081014'
Yo, here's the only reason for limiting the Commenting on most individual stories: The software we use makes it too time-consuming to set up. I want to publish "the news" in one (or, now, two) long post(s), rather than individual stories, and doing that one (two) long post, with Comments inside it, means I have to format each story a second time to get Comments threads going. For example, if there are four stories referenced in "More Things to Worry About on Tuesday," I'd not only have to publish Tuesday's entire post with links to all the stories, but I'd have to create four additional Comments posts (that readers would not see) just to open individual Comments threads. And I'd rather be reporting the news than formating a damn web page. Even Alex, our resident part-time geek (relevant quote: "I love the smell of html in the morning"), couldn't figure out how to avoid that step. I'm glad y'all like to Comment on the news, and I hope you'll continue to do it, but I have many more Readers than Commenters, and I'd rather devote the energy to putting more news in front of the Readers. Comments 'editors_081014'
Jacks of Science has collected a list of "Unintentionally inappropriate science papers" which includes:
AN Oraevsky, Spontaneous emission in a cavity, PHYS-USP, 37 (4), 393-405 (1994)
D. Vlassopoulos, et al. From hairy balls to hairy rods : Using macromolecular chemistry to bridge the gap between polymers and colloids, The Journal of Rheology (2000)
S. Tanveer, Surprises in Viscous Fingering, J. Fluid Mech. vol. 409, pp. 273–308 (2000)
W. Likos, N. Lu. Automated Measurement of Total Suction Characteristics in High-Suction Range: Application to Assessment of Swelling Potential, Journal of the Transportation Research Board, Vol. 1755 119-128 (2001)
To this I can add:
Pinto, RMN. (1962). Sex and acoustic trauma: audiologic study among 199 Varig Airlines (Brazil) Flight-Stewards and Stewardesses. Revista Brasileira de medicina. 19(6): 326-327.
Unfortunately not as interesting as it sounds, because by "sex" they mean "gender". And also:
Carbaugh, BT, et al. Effects of morphological variations of chicken models on sexual responses of cocks. Animal Behaviour. 10: 235-238.
It's time again to play "Name That List." Identify where the items in this list come from. Googling is cheating.
longbows, kidney daggers, swords, bills and pikes, jerkins, and knitted and worsted garments;
combs, razors, a 'piss pot', pomander, handheld sundials, urethral syringes, puncture syringe, trepan and feeding bottle;
human skeletal remains and bones of immature rat and small dog, butchered meat, fish bones, plum stones and peppercorns.