News of the Weird/Pro Edition "You're Still Not Cynical Enough"
Exceptionally Inexplicable Dispatches from Last Week
(datelines February 20-February 27) (links correct as of March 1)
Wrong Place Right Time, Plus a Tanned Pig, a Gassed Thief, and God Bless My Huge, Naked Body
Told Ya! Ya Wouldn't Listen!
Mr. Koua Fong Lee, serving 8 years for vehicular homicide in Minnesota, may have a reprieve. He told us all along that his Camry had accelerated all by itself—that it was impossible to stop it from killing those three people. Actually, he was driving an unrecalled 1996 model, but he's in play if the problem is cruise-control electronics. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle
Truly . . Only in America
The saga of the most calamitous split-second glimpse of areola in the history of the world continues. The U.S. Court of Appeals, acting on Supreme Court instructions, agreed to formally reconsider its 2008 decision to reject the FCC's half-million-dollar fine against CBS for the Janet Jackson episode at the 2004 Super Bowl. 2004! (Then, back to the Supreme Court? Then . . .?) Bloomberg News via Business Week /// Not Safe For Work Original Video
Tex-ass Justice: End-Running the U.S. Supreme Court
If you're on trial, and your prosecutor is secretly banging your judge, that might be important. Charles Dean Hood, who ultimately got the death penalty, tried to prove such an affair for over 15 years, but the small town kept it quiet. Finally, in 2008, the judge confessed. Hood asked the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals to at least take the death penalty off the table, but the most-defendant-unfriendly tribunal in America ruled that Hood had "waited" too long to raise the issue. He "waited"? With the U.S. Supreme Court poised to take the case, the Texas court re-thought it and came up with an altogether-different (though overrated) justification for removing Hood from death row. SCOTUS may still take the case, though. New York Times
From time to time, a reporter discovers that a few old-line nudist camps conduct on-premise church services on Sunday mornings (something about how God didn't make you born wearing clothes). Here's a TV news report from the White Tail Resort (near Petersburg, Va.). [Ed.: No money shots, but still probably not safe for work, and definitely not aesthetically safe.]WVEC-TV (Virginia Beach)
Did a Certain Ex-Governor Get an Abortion Before Conceiving Trig?
Virginia state Delegate Bob Marshall, speaking at an anti-Planned Parenthood photo-op, helpfully informed us that kids "born . . . with handicaps" are God's revenge for an earlier abortion. Richmond News Leader
Professor Dooley of New South Wales University in Sydney, Australia has come up with a formula for the optimum age for a man to propose marriage. Just plug your numbers into the above formula and calculate yourself right on into marital bliss!
Posted By: patty - Sun Feb 28, 2010 -
In celebration of my recent minor literary milestone, I have decided to share a bit of weirdness from one of my favorite authors, Terry Pratchett. For those of you familiar with the Discworld series, I'm sure you know where I'm going with this. The very first novel in the Discworld series, which takes place on the back of a giant turtle floating through space, was made into a live action movie. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the official trailer to 'Colour of Magic.'
Posted By: MohawkWarrior - Sat Feb 27, 2010 -
From the 'kick a guy when he's down category, PETA plans to put up the above billboard near Tiger Woods Windmere, Florida home to promote spaying and neutering pets. Hopefully no Lorena Bobitt wannabes take it to mean 'neuter your wandering husband'. At least Tiger isn't loosing all his endorsements! (kidding- he has no affiliation with this campaign)
Posted By: patty - Sat Feb 27, 2010 -
How about a more reliable weird hot dog story? Last September a guy attending a Kansas City Royals baseball game at Kauffman Stadium was injured by a flying hot dog. At the September 8th game Slugerrr, the K.C. Royals mascot, threw a hot dog at the stands and it struck John Coomer in the eye. He's now suing the team for $25,000 for the injuries he sustained which included a detached retina and cataracts-OUCH.
Brandon Bird is an artist whose style might best be described as "pop culture Norman Rockwell." Pictured above is one of his most famous works, No One Wants to Play Sega with Harrison Ford. Head on over to his website to see more of his work, including a Law & Order themed coloring book, children's letters to Christopher Walken, and a version of The Last Supper featuring 12 James Woodses (and RoboCop).
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.