In the past, biologists have recorded examples of animals attempting to mate with "biologically inappropriate objects". Konrad Lorenz observed a parakeet who grew frisky with a "small celluloid ball." During the 1950s researchers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center witnessed a hypersexual cat who attempted to mate with a dog, a female rhesus monkey, and an old hen. And here we have a turtle with a shoe fetish:
This hideous creature is giving me the whim-whams. It's a total juju fetiche. I cannot imagine how any ad man thought this frightful apparition would sell towels. You just know that it's going to scoop out some housewife's eyes with the spoon and scramble her brains with the whisk, all while beating the courageous but small family dog with those wooden legs.
Prof. Music recently sent us a link to this site that allows you to snorkel from your monitor. (Watch out for the shark!)
It reminded me of another site I had seen recently, As If Pulled By a Magnet, which simulates the experience of being a buoy bobbing up and down in the water. (Or maybe you're a piece of debris lying on the beach... It's hard to tell.)
Back when I was a kid, I remember being incredibly excited when I realized my last name could be spelled on a calculator. (Yeah, I was a nerd.) Type in 35308, turn the calculator upside down, and you get BOESE.
According to Wikipedia, the phenomenon of Calculator Spelling is known as Beghilos. The name derives from the limited set of characters that can be created with a calculator, those characters being: BEGhILOSZ.
Not surprisingly, one of the primary uses of beghilos is to create references to the female anatomy:
The 'original' attributed example of calculator spelling which dates from the 1970s, is 5318008, which when turned over spells "BOOBIES". Using a scientific calculator with hex capability, this can be further improved, with the A–F keys and the "!" sign, to spell "b00b1E5!", without needing to rotate the display (a practice known as hexspeak); however, many calculators that use the seven-segment automatically calculate the factorial product when the "!" key is pressed... In Portuguese, 50135 (upside down 'SEIOS'), means 'breasts', and is directly analogous to the English "58008/BOOBS".
The Burp Gas Filtering Device: Patent No. 7070638, issued July 4, 2006. It serves two functions in one. You can deodorize your burp, and if your dinner companion needs a pen to sign the check, you'll have one to offer.
Burp or eructation odors have been a source of annoyance or concern in polite society for hundreds of years. Far too often, the foods that we love most cause us to belch. To the person who is belching, the odor may be a trifling annoyance, especially if the burp was the result of an enjoyable meal. However, for persons in the close vicinity of the burp, the burp is simply an unpleasant odor of someone else's partially digested food. Many people wish to eliminate the burp odor so as to avoid offending others...
The burp filtering device has the body of a writing pen, with an intake port at the upper end of the body, a plurality of exhaust ports adjacent the writing tip and a filter disposed within the body. The filter may be made of activated charcoal or other media for filtering and adsorbing or absorbing eructation odors. In use, the user holds the upper end of the pny body to his lips, releases the suppressed burp and the filtered, deodorized gas is exhausted through the ports at the writing tip...
Still another object of the invention is to provide a device for eliminating burp odors that also serves as a writing instrument.
As Mr. Skip Peterson tells us: "This is an annual fund raiser held in Buffalo, Wyoming, for a local gymnastics team. Contestants have one minute to get the greased hog, butt first into the barrel. The coed team must also dip their hands into a bucket of Crisco before the game begins. The winning time this year was 7.45 seconds. Every team had a freash pig and each pig was only allowed to participate one time. Enjoy!"