Prof. Music recently sent us a link to this site that allows you to snorkel from your monitor. (Watch out for the shark!)
It reminded me of another site I had seen recently, As If Pulled By a Magnet, which simulates the experience of being a buoy bobbing up and down in the water. (Or maybe you're a piece of debris lying on the beach... It's hard to tell.)
Back when I was a kid, I remember being incredibly excited when I realized my last name could be spelled on a calculator. (Yeah, I was a nerd.) Type in 35308, turn the calculator upside down, and you get BOESE.
According to Wikipedia, the phenomenon of Calculator Spelling is known as Beghilos. The name derives from the limited set of characters that can be created with a calculator, those characters being: BEGhILOSZ.
Not surprisingly, one of the primary uses of beghilos is to create references to the female anatomy:
The 'original' attributed example of calculator spelling which dates from the 1970s, is 5318008, which when turned over spells "BOOBIES". Using a scientific calculator with hex capability, this can be further improved, with the A–F keys and the "!" sign, to spell "b00b1E5!", without needing to rotate the display (a practice known as hexspeak); however, many calculators that use the seven-segment automatically calculate the factorial product when the "!" key is pressed... In Portuguese, 50135 (upside down 'SEIOS'), means 'breasts', and is directly analogous to the English "58008/BOOBS".
The Burp Gas Filtering Device: Patent No. 7070638, issued July 4, 2006. It serves two functions in one. You can deodorize your burp, and if your dinner companion needs a pen to sign the check, you'll have one to offer.
Burp or eructation odors have been a source of annoyance or concern in polite society for hundreds of years. Far too often, the foods that we love most cause us to belch. To the person who is belching, the odor may be a trifling annoyance, especially if the burp was the result of an enjoyable meal. However, for persons in the close vicinity of the burp, the burp is simply an unpleasant odor of someone else's partially digested food. Many people wish to eliminate the burp odor so as to avoid offending others...
The burp filtering device has the body of a writing pen, with an intake port at the upper end of the body, a plurality of exhaust ports adjacent the writing tip and a filter disposed within the body. The filter may be made of activated charcoal or other media for filtering and adsorbing or absorbing eructation odors. In use, the user holds the upper end of the pny body to his lips, releases the suppressed burp and the filtered, deodorized gas is exhausted through the ports at the writing tip...
Still another object of the invention is to provide a device for eliminating burp odors that also serves as a writing instrument.
As Mr. Skip Peterson tells us: "This is an annual fund raiser held in Buffalo, Wyoming, for a local gymnastics team. Contestants have one minute to get the greased hog, butt first into the barrel. The coed team must also dip their hands into a bucket of Crisco before the game begins. The winning time this year was 7.45 seconds. Every team had a freash pig and each pig was only allowed to participate one time. Enjoy!"
NOTE TO READERS: Your Weird News Editor must take the next week off but will be back at work on Monday morning, March 16th. E-mail will still be attended to attentively, however, and the Weird Universe franchise remains in the hands of revered professionals, Alex and Paul. Now, on to the News:
Recurring Theme: There's something about taxes
OK. You know about the Secretary of the damn Treasury, and you know the first-anointed potential Secretary of HHS, and you know about the White House performance chief, and now we know about two people lined up for Treasury jobs but are now S.O.L., and we know (from our report here 1-29-2009) about D.C. Councilmember Marion Barry. Now comes news that 22 members of the Georgia legislature either owe back taxes or failed to file at least once in the last six years. (Bonus: The state senate's Democratic leader is one who failed to file, and when a colleague proposed a new ethics rule to punish tax scofflaws, the Dem called the colleague a "bloodsucker.") The Telegraph (Macon) Comments 'something_taxes'
Nicole Leonard, 25, was arrested in Greenville, S.C., after she crashed the funeral of a total stranger, danced around in front of gasping, jaw-dropped mourners, leaned over the deceased and hit him in the face with a "wand," and scattered the flowers around before fleeing. After she was arrested, her only comment was because, according to a deputy, "she felt that it was the right thing to do at the time." Greenville News///WLTX-TV (Columbia) [link has mugshot] Comments 'nicole_leonard'
More Things to Worry About
"Thanks for hiring me as a police dispatcher, and, by the way, did I mention to you that I have narcolepsy?" ("Fired? You can't fire me.") Chicago Tribune
Arrested for arson in West Virginia: Mr. J. Edgar Hoover. WSAZ-TV (Huntington)
A South Carolina researcher says Ecstasy is such a miracle-cure drug that a post-traumatic stress disorder patient said, "I feel so lucky that I got to take part in [this] project. It's basically like years of therapy in two or three hours. You can't understand it until you've experienced it." Wired Danger Room blog
Using body parts for black magic is so big in Mozambique and South Africa that laws against mutilating bodies is not enough; what law-enforcement really needs are laws against possession of other people's body parts because so many people are carryin'. The Star (Johannesburg)
British artist Jamie McCartney says he needs to make plaster casts of 20 different, um, vaginas for a sculpture that makes a point about the hymenoplasty craze, so if you have one that you'd like immortalized . . .. The Sun
Comments on Things to Worry About? Comments 'worry_090306'
Your Daily Jury Duty ["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Betty Jo Leonardson and John Silvia may merely be oppressed homeless people picked up by Bradenton, Fla., police trying to clean up a city park . . or they could have violated ordinances by humping in public. Well, said Silvia, the normal place to do it is in one's home, and this (Bradenton's great outdoors) is my home. TheSmokingGun.com Comments 'leonardson_silvia'
Today's Newsrangers: Holly Gorrell, Richard Curry, David Melcher, Charles Blakely, Neb Rodgers, Ginger Katz, Steve Miller, John Rankin