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June 1, 2009

Butt Bling, a New District of Calamity, Jonathan Lee Riches Sues Again, and More Tex-Ass Justice

News of the Weird / Pro Edition
June 1, 2009 (news from May 23-30)

Artsiphartsi
Britain's Manchester Museum has hired Mr. Ansuman Biswas as its "hermit in residence" this summer, to live in a tower and blog concerning one object a day from the Museum's stash, musing on its significance (or lack of). For some reason, Ansuman sounds thrilled to be doing this. And the BBC said it was sending Simon Armitage to Afghanistan to embed with troops. Armitage is a, uh, poet (actually, Poet Laureate short-lister). Combat poet. Speaking of poetry, here's this bit of marketing by the Planet Shikoku Rejuvenation Station massage parlor in Eden Prairie, Minn.:
Men are from Mars! / Women are from Venus
We understand that sometimes / It's all about the Penis!
But there's no unhappy endings [sic] here / Because we don't do anything wrong
We will stroke your ego / Not your ding dong!
The Guardian (Ansuman) /// The Guardian (Armitage) /// City Pages (Minneapolis)

Crime Is My Profession
(1) Brandon Hiser, 22, was arrested in Kansas City for trying to break into a bank using a screwdriver. Bonus: It was the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. (2) Ezedrick Jones, 18, was arrested in Memphis for trying to knock off the very KFC from which he had just been fired. Bonus: The manager recognized him through his mask's eye holes and throughout the robbery, addressed him by name. Kansas City Star /// United Press International

Gift Guide
"The most daring accessory you can wear," the mfgr says, available in an assortment of colors and Swarovski crystals: butt-plug bling! (Seriously. Chains hanging out of your sphincter.) CarnalNation.com /// [NSFW] ExtremeRestraints.com



More in extended >>
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Mon Jun 01, 2009 | Comments (4)
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May 31, 2009

Your Daily Loser & Jury Duty for May 31st

Your Historical Daily Loser - Edward Blaine was having a bad day. How bad was it, you ask? When he tried to rob a bank in Port Royal, Virginia, he dropped half the money on the way out, then discovered he had locked his keys inside the getaway car. That's when the angry civilians caught up to him. He tried to flee but was run down and in the struggle he managed to shoot himself in the leg. The Story.

Jury Duty - The expression on Joseph Monahan's face is priceless. He's been charged with disorderly conduct in a licensed establishment. Disorderly conduct is defined as acts that are of a nature to corrupt the public morals, or outrage the sense of public decency, etc. A licensed establishment is, for lack of a better word, a bar. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but, isn't a bar the perfect place to commit acts that could corrupt the public morals?
Posted By: Nethie | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (2)
Category: Crime, Your Daily Jury Duty, Your Daily Loser, Goofs and Screw-ups

Trust no-one. That includes birds.

First, I feel I should say that I really don't plan to only post about strange Southern Hemisphere critters doing strange things. Promise.
Having said that, here's another one...
Keas are a native New Zealand parrot, apparently somewhat notorious for being smart and nosey, trying to dismantle cars, rummaging through bags etc. This one kea (I'm wondering if a drunk avian dare was involved), snuck into the luggage compartment of a tourist bus, grabbed a passport out of a bag, and flew away.
My favourite part of this story were the comments from the Scotsman who I can only inagine is now stranded in New Zealand for the rest of his life (not really):
"My passport is somewhere out there in Fiordland. The kea's probably using it for fraudulent claims or something," he grumbled. "I'll never look at a kea in the same way."
I wonder if the kea is in fact part of an international identity-theft organisation.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/05/30/2585161.htmimage

NOTE: photo taken by Markus Koljonen
Posted By: shadowkat | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (4)
Category:

Russian Electrician admits electrocuting student

If you think you have found a good source for some spare computer parts, especially if you are in Russia -- RUN!!

The electrician in question has been accused of five other disapperances linked to computer component sales. Make sure you read to the bottom of the article to find out about 3 other "inventions".

image

http://www.russiatoday.com/Top_News/2009-05-30/Nutjob_electrician_executed_victims_on_electric_chair.html

If he invented the electromagnetic beam... I forgot what I was going to say.
Posted By: gdanea | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (1)
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Forgotten and Unseen Electronics Part 4

For some reason all I can find for weird electronics lately is stuff to do with Nintendo.

In 1980 Japan released the AV Family Computer. In 1993 they released it again to North America as NES 2 (also known as the Top Loader). This might be where they got the idea of how the Super Nintendo would look. It also had no LED light on it so you couldn't tell if it was turned on.


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image
Posted By: phantomspy1 | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (5)
Category:

Witchita Bans the Color Blue

Apparently blue sno-cones are poison so they've been banned at the zoo. But that begs the question about all the other colors.
Raspberry Blue looks like degreaser
Root Beer Brown looks like motor oil
Cherry & Strawberry Red looks like hydraulic fluid
Lemon Yellow looks like .... well we know what that looks like.

Zoo Serves Poison
Posted By: Expat47 | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (3)
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All Apologies

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The Mgt. of WU--Alex, Chuck and Paul-- would like to apologize to our readers for foisting an overly political and jejune and tendentious post on you, even by proxy. You'll note that it's been deleted--although the comments formerly attached to it remain behind, so as to archive the wise and tasteful responses of our loyal readers.

Please forgive us, and continue reading as before.

Kate Smith

Sure, Susan Boyle's great, even if she did finish second. But what exactly was so surprising about a fat, homely gal with a great set of pipes? Has everyone forgotten Kate Smith so soon?

Posted By: Paul | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (3)
Category: Music, 1970's

The Arts: Surrealism

I am a big fan of the arts, and Dali and the Surrealist movement in particular. There is a small collection of surreal artwork by various artists on Photobucket, as well as good collections at BEINART and surrealartists.org (Due to possible copyright infringement, I will not post any artwork on this site)
Posted By: fyshstyxx | Date: Sun May 31, 2009 | Comments (3)
Category: Art, Surrealism

May 30, 2009

Watch Where You Throw The Toy!!

When you play catch with the dog, try not to throw the toy up a tree. The dog may just run up and fetch it!!



My dog would do this. When her frisbee is on the roof, she keeps tryng to figure out a way to get up there. Good thing a tree like this is not nearby!!
Posted By: gdanea | Date: Sat May 30, 2009 | Comments (2)
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All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.