Weird Universe

March 18, 2009

[News] Latvians and North Koreans Chow Down


The Australian behemoth has a report from a restaurant in Riga with a challenging business plan: It's owned by doctors who've made its ambience all-things-medical. Sit at OR tables, have food served on gurneys, have tweezers and scalpels laid out beside forks and spoons, drink cocktails from test tubes and beakers, etc., and the things on that tray over there that look like tongues, well, they're food designed to look like tongues (and noses, and ears). (Bonus: For "entertainment," deranged-looking "patients" in straitjackets are wheeled around.)
The news is better out of Pyongyang, according to a Tokyo newspaper that has connections inside: Dear Leader finally allowed the first Italian restaurant to open after several years' fits and starts, involving hands-on lessons on pizza prep by some of Italy's best chefs (who had to be basically scanned like astronauts are to make it past North Korean security). But here's the moment of zen, from The Guardian: K.Jay apparently dropped by the kitchen one day to observe an Italian coaching a Korean. The Italian said later that he couldn't be sure it was actually K.Jay and not a stand-in, but the Korean chef, "who had no reason to fib, was, for the space of several minutes, utterly speechless. He said he felt as if he had seen God, and I still envy him this experience." /// The Guardian

Today's Newsrangers: David Stratford, Jenny Beatty, Karl Olson
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (7)

[News] Cult of the Clit

Because its raison d'étre is the intense, mindless fondling of women's genitals, it becomes a quasi-political, near-spiritual statement, at least according to the editors of the New York Times, which featured on Sunday a full take-out on the San Francisco commune that practices "orgasmic meditation" (of females only) every morning at 7 a.m. sharp. (Men can contribute their fingers to the process, but their personal orgasms are on their own time and presumably more vulgar than women's.) The founder of the One Taste Urban Retreat Center, Nicole Daedone, 41, is revered/obeyed by the dozen or more in residence at any one time, with a maniacal power to convince women to improve their sense of self via climactic ferocity. (Bonus: A 50-yr-old male communer, who is a Silicon Valley engineer, according to the Times, credited "the practice of manually fixing his attention on a tiny spot of a woman's body" with "improv[ing] his own concentration at work.") New York Times ///
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (6)

[News] More Things to Worry About

But This Time It Worked (according to this-here newspaper, anyway): In Witbank, South Africa (pop. 60,000), three women strapped a corpse into a wheelchair, rolled it inside the post office, and begged the clerk to give them the man's pension money (equivalent to US$97). South African Press Association via

A union filed unfair-labor-practice charges against management, alleging union-avoiding activities such as laying off members by contracting out work. But "management" is the leadership of the huge Service Employees Int'l Union, and the "union" is own its feeling-screwed workers. Washington Post

Home buyers sued Edina Realty (Edina, Minn.) for selling them an amityville-horror house without disclosing the murder (but according to state statute, that's not a "material" fact that needs to be disclosed). Star Tribune

A Blackburn, England, couple and their two lovely daughters subsist on gov't handouts totaling £22k (taxable equivalent: £30k) (US equivalents, $30k, $42k) because they're either too sick or too fat to work, and now they complain that they're starving (combined family weight: 1,134 lbs). Daily Telegraph

Your Daily Loser: Clever enough to figure out how to rig a peeping camera in a restroom stall but not clever enough to rig it without staring into the lens. Daily Freeman (Kingston, N.Y.)
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (13)

Git Gob

For some reason, the video below reminded me of the under-appreciated song by Walter Becker, "Hat Too Flat." You can hear a sample of that track at the Amazon page for the Becker album, via the link at right.

Posted By: Paul | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (4)
Category: Aliens, Fashion, Music, Cartoons

Dolphin High Jump

How high can a dolphin jump out of the water?

Most sources I've looked at maintain their capacity is five meters, or sixteen feet.

The performance in the video below is posted twice on YouTube, by different folks. And one poster claimed the rope was set at twenty meters. That would be over sixty feet, or as high as a five-story building.

I don't think so. They might have meant twenty feet.

But if we look at the photo to the right (from the Life archives of a Marineland performance from 1958), we see that the dolphin has jumped about three body-lengths out of the water for its treat. (Unless of course it's been lifted up there by humans and nailed by the snout to the pole.) According to Wikipedia, dolphin species vary from four feet to thirty feet long. If we assume this dolphin is ten feet long, then it's jumped thirty feet straight up!


Posted By: Paul | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (15)
Category: Animals, Fairs, Amusement Parks, and Resorts, 1950's, Natural Wonders

Extreme Shepherding

This is pretty cool until the very end, when it's revealed that it's a corporate-produced viral video, which means the entire thing is probably fake.

Posted By: Alex | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (9)
Category: Animals, Video

How to undress in two seconds

This could be useful if you're in a hurry.

(via Art of the Prank)
Posted By: Alex | Date: Wed Mar 18, 2009 | Comments (5)
Category: Fashion, Video

March 17, 2009

[News] China’s Last Eunuch

Sun Yaoting died in 1996 at age 93, but evidently his biographer Jia Yinghua is gearing up for English-language book promos (though it's not out yet, Mr. Amazon says), like yesterday's story from Reuters. "Eunuch" was a career path for centuries in imperial China, in which good executive jobs were available to down-and-out men only if they were dickless, because a regular man couldn't be trusted in the emperor's inner sanctum. So little Sun's dad was feuding with the local chief, and dad figured the only way to get back at the chief was if little Sun grew up to be a power broker so that he could crush the chief. So dad castrated him, and it was gruesome. (Bonus: When little Sun finally regained consciousness, dad discovered that the emperor had abdicated. Punk'd!) (But the new guy let the old emperor continue to live in the city, and he hired Sun, anyway, so things worked out.) There's more, especially about how legs-crossingly "gruesome" that procedure was. Reuters via Yahoo /// New York Times archive

Today's Newsrangers: Peter Hine, Mindy Cohen
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Tue Mar 17, 2009 | Comments (5)

[News] More Things to Worry About

Mary Gorsuch, 48, on probation for armed bank robbery, knocked off Paul's Variety in Biddeford, Maine, but then walked across the street and ordered a pepperoni pizza; cops arrived before the pizza. WLBZ-TV (Bangor)

Mohammad, dude, it's just a game: Late in a soccer match in Hilla, Iraq, as a player had broken away and was set to attempt a game-tying kick, a spectator shot him dead. Reuters via Yahoo

Needs to lower his profile: Carlos Hoskins III was arrested in Kentwood, La., for growing dope, like from the nine potted pot plants he kept on his front porch. Times-Picayune

Always Low Prices: Two guys tried to shoplift a bucket of chicken and a package of socks from a Wal-Mart near Austin, Tex. (total retail, $6.83). American-Statesman

Awesome: A couple (reported via different news sources as Brennan Cunningham and Tabatha Carlson) were having sex in a car on the railroad tracks near Minot, N.D., and a train nudged 'em (not very hard, apparently but enough to cause a scene), and when police arrived, they were still going at it. Gotta meet this Tabatha! KFYR-TV (Bismarck) /// KXMC-TV (Minot)

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Mr. Orion Kent Mitchell Stoltman, 19, might have been the "adult" who along with two younger teens committed aggravated assault on two pet pygmy goats in an apparent demonstration of the forces of darkness last Halloween in Tooele, Utah. Tooele Transcript
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Tue Mar 17, 2009 | Comments (8)

Giant Gerbil of Asia

Having encountered for the first time the phrase "giant bubonic-plague-carrying gerbil of Kazakhstan," (16 inches from nose to tail) I am so stupefied that all I can do is point people to this article and to this one, and then stand back while WU readers have fun with the notion of substituting a giant gerbil for a traditional one in this urban legend.
Posted By: Paul | Date: Tue Mar 17, 2009 | Comments (12)
Category: Animals, Fetishes, Myths and Fairytales, Asia, Butt
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All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.