In a giant leap forward for the rights of garden gnomes, especially golden ones using the Nazi salute, German courts declared gnomes have a "certain abuse potential" (whatever that means). The ruling continues with a warning for others not to "emulate the work".
In Houston, Texas Tracy Armstead got a big surprise when he attempted to rob a Subway restaurant. He lunged over the counter and grabbed the money drawer when the cash register opened. Employee, Yava Matthews, punched him in the face. Holding on to the cash drawer when he fell back against the wall turned out to be a bad decision as well. Ms. Matthews jumped the counter and went after the robber. The ensuing altercation spilled out the door at which point Ms. Matthews requested assistance from bystanders. She was given a pair of handcuffs, which she applied, and a taser, which she used. Upon being tased Armstead complained he could not breathe. To which Ms. Matthews responded that if he could talk then he could breathe and to be quiet or get tased again. I suspect he was as relieved as anyone when police arrived. http://www.kens5.com/latestnews/stories/KENS20090723-Robber-gets-knuckle-sandwich.6adfed3d.html
The other day I showed you the Super Nintoaster. I have now found someone who made their broken Super Nintendo into an alarm clock. It was made by http://mavrinac.com. You can read about how it was made here:
This one is a gem. Several examples of the strictly business only communication between cockpit crews and air traffic controllers. For example, a British Airlines jet was chastised for not knowing the way to their gate at the Frankfurt, Germany airport. The tower asked the Brits hadn't they ever been there before, in a short tone. The British pilot responded, 'Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark and I didn't land.' Another was a female controller bitterly dressing down an airline crew. After her tirade no one spoke for a minute, then an unidentified voice said, 'Wasn't I married to you once?' Enjoy them all here http://maddad0467.newsvine.com/_news/2009/07/22/3051139-actual-exchanges-between-pilots-and-control-towers-funny
Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner includes the line "Water, water, everywhere, nor any drop to drink!" to evoke the torment of Tantalus that was visited on the eponymous anti-hero for killing an albatross. It seems a similar punishment may have befallen two fugitives from justice after they starved to death on board the luxury yacht they stole to escape in.
Peter Clarke and Sharon Arthurs-Chegini went on the run in the last weeks of 2005 after being charged and bailed for theft and fraud. Dubbed a modern-day "Bonnie and Clyde", the pair had previously enjoyed a "champagne and cocaine lifestyle", according to Ms Chegini's step-daughter, before one of Clarke's schemes, claiming to be refurbishing a Devon hotel - to include a heliport among other extravagances - so as to serve the celebrity elite, came crashing down. Clarke and Chegini had thrown lavish parties to separate potential investors from hundreds of thousands of pounds, but were caught trying to sneak out of their hotel without settling the £1000 bill and placed under arrest. When Clarke was unable to settle the debt, he and Sharon jumped bail and stole a yacht, only to sail it a scant 25 miles round the coast of England before being caught and charged with its theft. This time when the ran, they made a better job of it, finally making their way to Portugal in May 2006, where they stole another yacht and sailed it out to sea.
They were not seen again until September of that year, when the yacht was spotted drifting off the coast of Senegal, storm-damaged and with a torn sail. On board were the badly decomposed bodies of Clarke and Chegini, along with Chegini's diary, in which she detailed how they had not eaten for weeks and had only urine mixed with sea-water to drink. In her entry for June 19th, Sharon wrote "I dream of my mum’s steak and kidney pie, steak pie and sausage and mash" (Telegraph).
'Excuse me waiter, but there's a condom in my soup.' These aren't necessarily Zednek Phillip Hodousek exact words, but it is exactly what he claims happened. Mr. Hodousek and his family were having dinner at Claim Jumper restaurant in Mission Viejo, Califoria on Easter Sunday this year. He ordered french onion soup, which is served with melted cheese over it. Upon feeling a 'chewy piece of cheese' in his mouth which he couldn't bite through, he spit it on to a napkin. According to the suit filed on July 21, 2009 it was not cheese, it was a tied off condom. According to Mr. Hodousek he was sick in the restroom and again in the parking lot. Staff was notified and their meal was comped. Taking the offending item to a lab Mr.Hodousek claims female DNA was recovered and wants female staff at the restaurant tested for a possible match. The spokesperson for Claim Jumper says that, yes there was a foreign object in the soup, but as Mr. Hodousek took it with him there is no way to know it is the same one taken to the lab. So the lawsuit goes on... http://www.ocregister.com/articles/hodousek-claim-jumper-2502968-condom-soup
You may not be able to afford that "West Coast Customs" look for your ride, but how about the garage where you leave it?
Style-Your-Garage.com are offering a range of self adhesive garage-door covers that depict the contents of your garage as everything from a fighter jet to a strip joint. There's even one showing it to be completely empty. So if you fancy having an alligator, a speedboat or even a metro station in your garage, Style-Your-Garage.com have just the thing for you (Daily Mail).
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.