As very few of you are probably aware, I have been away for a while. Now that I have returned from winter vacation I can start posting again, and I will start with a few weird things I have found around the internet over the past few months.
First, we have an ad that I noticed right here on Weird Universe:
I know Microsoft is evil, but getting their rival to link to their competing service? That's just terrible.
Yes, my title is a really lousy rendition of the "Go ahead, make my day" line as uttered by Clint Eastwood in Sudden Impact. But it's relevant because this post is about a website dedicated to some of the cheesiest lines ever spoken in action movies. The Quotable Action Hero blog is guaranteed to waste at least fifteen minutes of your life. So what's weird about it? It may just be a matter of opinion, but these are not your typical quotations. In fact, if the blog author didn't include the movie's name along with the quote, I would have no idea where most of these lines came from. What do you think?
I tried to see actual H-2-O, but I never did catch sight of the water. When people say "the crush of humanity", this may be the perfect example. Or maybe this is the "gene pool" -- needs more chlorine!!
Ever have trouble tearing open a ketchup packet? Then there's the fact that you have to open about 30 of them to get enough ketchup to dip even a small order of french fries. Well, Heinz has finally listened to the voices of the people and redesigned the ketchup packet. Power to the people!
And the music? Suffice it to say that some Iranian musicians, not orchestra members, reportedly complained beforehand that the work wasn’t good enough to export. They were right. Scored for orchestra, chorus and male solo singer, with an electric guitar, amplified piano and battalion of harpists thrown in to increase the racket, the symphony approximates brief melodies in between lengthy drum assaults by burgling hints of “Dr. Zhivago” and “Lord of the Rings” along with Vivaldi and “Fiddler on the Roof.” Otherwise, for the better part of 75 minutes, a whole team of percussionists gravely beat the bejesus out of a variety of very loud drums, to unintentionally (and increasingly) comic effect.
Was the reporter exaggerating? Decide for yourself, in 2 parts!
Posted By: Paul - Thu Feb 04, 2010 -
Mildred's Temple Kitchen, a restaurant in Toronto, has an unusual idea for celebrating Valentines Day. The owner/chef, Donna Dooher, suggests a nice dinner at the restaurant followed by a romantic interlude in one of their 4 unisex bathrooms. Dooher claims trysts have taken place in their restrooms before, but now she's encouraging people to do it. In fact the restaurant will be employing a maid to keep things tidy during the Valentine weekend, February 12-15.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
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