IBM recently filed a patent describing body armor that actually dodges bullets. Don't leave home without it!
A method of protecting a target from a projectile propelled from a firearm comprises detecting an approaching projectile, continuously monitoring the projectile and transmitting an actual position of the projectile to a controller, computing an estimated projectile trajectory based upon the actual position of the projectile, determining an actual position of a target with a plurality of position sensors and a plurality of attitude sensors, determining whether the estimated projectile trajectory coincides with the actual position of the target, and triggering a plurality of muscle stimulators operably coupled to the controller and to the target when the estimated projectile trajectory coincides with the actual position of the target, wherein the muscle stimulators stimulate the target to move in a predefined manner, and wherein the target moves by an amount sufficient to avoid any contact with the approaching projectile.
I saw Maria Montez's COBRA WOMAN about a year ago. But I had to buy an all-regions DVD player and order the DVD from England, since it's unavailable here. But the expense was worth it, as I think you'll agree after you watch the trailer.
News of the Weird Daily Monday, February 16, 2009 [Friday catch-up]
10 pet trends that must die
Katie Rolnick, writing on Salon.com, has all you need to know from the news about pet owners who are much too carried away with their cute little snookumses, like with pet weddings, dog yoga, social networking websites for pets, mink coats for dogs, handcrafted wooden cages for birds, and more. Many of these have been in News of the Weird, but Ms. Rolnick has all the links for you in one place. Well done. Salon.com Comments 'pet_trends'
FDA tolerates mold . . excreta . . maggots . . mildew . . .
Of course it's impossible to totally, absolutely purify food, and also we wouldn't like the price if companies had to reduce objectionable stuff by too much so the Food and Drug Administration has lists of "acceptable levels," depending on the type of food. Canned mushrooms, for example, can have 15 maggots per 100 grams of drained mushrooms without drawing FDA attention. "[Y]ou're probably ingesting one to two pounds of flies, maggots, and mites each year without knowing it." Now you do. New York Times Comments 'fda_tolerates'
Husband was "exercised to death" by wife
Christine Newton-John, 41, pleaded guilty in Chardon, Ohio, after a surveillance video showed her 73-yr-old husband splashing in an apartment-house pool, trying desperately to get out of the water, only to have her block his exit 43 different times, until he had a fatal heart attack. (Bonus: Christine was born "John," but got surgery in 1993 and picked her name as a fan of Olivia N-J.) Plain Dealer Comments 'christine_newtonjohn'
More Things to Worry About
Montana apparently has no Recession worries, seein' as how the Senate last week had time to hold a hearing on naming the whole-wheat huckleberry variety the official state pancake. Billings Gazette
Unclear on the Concept: A bomb threat forced evacuation of all 1,850 students from a high school in Buda, Tex., . . well, all except the 8 special-needs kids, who had to stay put. (Bonus: The principal said she left 'em in place out of "compassion," because it was cold outside.) KXAN-TV (Austin)
The 9-yr-old in Oregon, Wis., was blocking his dad's view of the TV and wouldn't move out of the way, so dad shot him in the ass with a BB gun, and dad was arrested (but . . the kid got out of the way). Capital Times (Madison)
Karma-get-him: Nicholas Hernandez, 25, awaiting trial in a Houston, Tex., DUI-crash case in which his passenger died, was killed in a crash Thursday while a passenger in a car driven by a drunk pal. Houston Chronicle
19 schoolteachers were identified as poor performers by their pupils' test scores and so were taken out and beaten with the cane, which is, alas, apparently improper in Tanzania. BBC News
Comments on Things to Worry About? Comments 'worry_090216'
Your Daily Loser
Graham Nickerson, 27, somehow, he said, "lost" his trousers in the process of relieving himself in the woods [Ed.: How does that happen?], and that's why he was roaming around in his underwear and why he broke into a home to find some pants to wear and why he settled on a Depends garment he found and why he was wearing it when the cops rousted him after he passed out in the home of the 92-yr-old woman. AWI. Chronicle Herald (Halifax, Nova Scotia) Comments 'graham_nickerson'
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
He's still loose, but last Thursday at 11 a.m., he was on the Katy Trail in Dallas, Tex., standing still, waiting for joggers to come along. And he was naked. And his body was painted orange. Dallas Morning News Comments 'orange_man'
Your Daily Jury Duty ["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Steven Young, 27, Urbandale, Iowa, might have been drunk and out of control (though that was merely one cop's opinion). (Bonus Standing Fearlessly Against Oppression: "You can't hurt me [with that Taser]. I'm a man.") Des Moines Register Comments 'steven_young'
Today's Newsrangers: Stephen Taylor, Lance Ellisor, Mindy Cohen, Philip Urban, Harry Farkas, Doug Linker, Ginger Katz, Larry Ellis Reed, Kelvin Norton, Cindy Hildebrand, Karl Luhrs
Quite a few people, it seems, have bequeathed their skulls to theater companys. They figure that, while they may not have been talented enough to appear in a production of Hamlet during their life, once they're dead they've got the part of Yorick's skull covered. From tvtropes.org:
Comedian Del Close bequeathed his skull to the Goodman Theatre in Chicago for precisely this purpose. The skull currently residing at the Goodman, though, isn't his: nobody was willing to prepare it. Other aspiring posthumous Yoricks include Juan Potomachi, Andre Tchaikovsky, and Jonathan Hartman. Tchaikovsky's skull finally made it to the stage in the 2008 Royal Shakespeare Company production of Hamlet (starring David Tennant).
So who's going to be the first to bequeath their skull to Weird Universe?
Besides having a great porn-movie title, this film starring Edward G. Robinson is just all over the map. Part comedy, part high-society drama, part courtroom drama, part gangster film, it features the loony premise of a medical doctor who becomes a crook for research purposes. Toss in Claire Trevor's weird lisp, and it's a surefire WU candidate!
Cultivate learning opportunities to develop and refine Christian clowning skills.
Encourage high ethical, professional, and Christian clown standards.
Promote clowning as a ministry to bring joy and the love of Jesus to others
If you hurry, you can still make it to their national conference, Feb 12-15 in Springfield, Missouri.