News of the Weird/Pro Edition You're Still Not Cynical Enough
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
February 28, 2011
(datelines February 19-February 26) (links correct as of February 28)
The Septuagenarian Porn Star, Plus Breast-Milk Ice Cream and Shoplifting Made Easy
★ ★ ★ ★!
Let Us Honor America's Cultural Giants[ed.: The following item has been purged of dozens of cheap double entendres by Cheez-B-Gone™ software] The pseudonymous Dave Cummings (actually, Connors), 70, has been selected for the video porn industry's hall of fame, and it's not an emeritus award. He's still a working pro. Dave entered the business at 54 after an Army career (Lt. Col., 4th Infantry) and "pride[s] [him]self on never using Viagra," except that maybe he'll drop a tab if working with difficult directors or actresses. "Believe it or not," wrote AOL News's hard-working David Moye, "much of what he learned in the military for dealing with soldiers in the [midst] of battle is transferable to dealing with young actresses . . .." AOL News /// XRCO Hall of Fame
If Ya Got 'Em, Light 'Em Up You're Under Arrest: Honduras knows how to really discourage smoking. In addition to all the usual indoor restrictions (public accommodations, government buildings, etc.), nonsmokers get a required six-foot smoke-free zone outside, and citizens can actually call police to deal with excessive smoking inside the smoker's own home. Associated Press via Yahoo News
Hollywood's Most PW'd Star: Canadian authorities in Vancouver have granted asylum to Randy Quaid and his lovely wife Evi, who believe that unnamed Powers That Be in Hollywood want them dead. Actually, from this Vanity Fair piece two months ago, it very much looks like it's Evi who believes all this and that Randy is just trying to keep access to what must be thrilling Space-Mountain-quality conjugal rides. (The DSM-IV medical term for Evi's precise disorder is, I believe, whack job.) Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News /// Vanity Fair
If They Were Atheists, They'd Still Be Alive: In Bamako, Mali, 36 people were trampled to death at a Muslim holy week ceremony. In California (70 miles east of Los Angeles), one person was killed when a bus plunged off the highway while returning from a religious retreat. In Brooklyn, N.Y., a woman died when the candles for a voodoo ceremony set a fire in an apartment. And of course the four yachters murdered by Somalian pirates were on a religious mission ("We seek fertile ground for the Word and homes for our [crates of] Bibles" they carried on board). AlJazeera.net /// Associated Press via Pasadena Star News /// CNN /// USA Today
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.