First, hang out with your students, adult friends are highly overrated. Next, plot pranks with the kids, they always like that. Finally, take them for a fun thrill ride in your car, your having a car and driving at high speeds impresses them. Maybe not in the trunk though.
News of the Weird/Pro Edition You're Still Not Cynical Enough
Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
August 22, 2011
(datelines August 13-August 20) (links correct as of August 22)
Soccer Fans with Happy Endings, Plus An Incompetent Cow and Abu Nancy
From Yr Editor
Yr Editor is taking off next week although on Monday morning, August 29, I will post the same standard News of the Weird column here that was released nationally the day before, on NewsoftheWeird.com. (However, out of respect that this is the intertubes, the WU version will have links to each source.) I'll be back here on September 5 with a somewhat-improved Pro Edition. Somewhat.
★ ★ ★ ★!
An attendance-challenged soccer team in Madrid, Spain, went cutting-edge, with a promo video . . encouraging its fans to . . donate sperm. ("To make sure we get the best supporter, we have made the first [team] Getafe porn movie," said the narrator. Daily Mail: "It cuts to half-naked zombies rolling around on beds who say how important it is to get Getafe back on track. The footage then goes back to the donor who, with a steely determination, marches down a corridor with fellow fans, into an individual cubicle, to complete his mission." Daily Mail (London)
Priests at the Basilica of San Salvatore al Monte, in Florence, Italy, concerned that an intruder continues to steal Bibles, brought out the heavy artillery: a prayer that the thief suffer "a strong bout of the trots [aka the runs]." Daily Telegraph (London)
The super-committed Lyle Bensley, 18, stayed remarkably in character through his arrest for assault. He's a vampire. Alive for "500 years." "[N]eed[s] to feed." Made growling and hissing noises as he broke into an apartment and munched on a woman's neck. Houston Chronicle
Taunting the Tea Party: In (broke) (worse-off than the federal government) California, the legislature is now taking up a crucial measure passed by the state senate in June to make it unlawful for hotels not to use fitted sheets. (It was something about housekeepers' complaints to their still-strong union.) Los Angeles Times