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October 31, 2011

News of the Weird / Pro Edition (October 31, 2011)

News of the Weird/Pro Edition
You're Still Not Cynical Enough

Prime Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
October 31, 2011
(datelines October 22-October 29) (links correct as of October 31)

Trial of the Century Pile (Steaming) of the Century, plus More Things to Worry About

★ ★ ★ ★!

In Fairfax County, Va., Kimberly Zakrzewski was found not guilty of violating the county's poop-scooper ordinance, in a citizens' complaint brought by her mortal enemies, the Cornell sisters, who introduced photos of little "Baxter"'s unscooped piles for the jury's edification. The dispositive evidence was testimony by Baxter's owner (Kimberly is just a walker) that the piles looked nothing like anything that had ever come out of Baxter. (Bonus: The owner had brought an actual pile to court that day to intro as evidence, but she decided to leave it in the car.) [ed: OK, OK, literary license on the word "steaming."] Washington Post

Student Loans' Perfect Storm: Like clockwork, college campuses continue to be recession-free zones: Tuition rises (at public schools because governments need revenue; at private schools because it can). Job prospects without degrees are more dismal than ever. Loans are floated like cocaine in front of worried, not-fully-formed adults. Proprietary schools convince marginal students they'll be superstars. Banks rake in low-risk money. But, Newsflash: Young adults can't pay it back right now. Banks: Great! More money for us in interest! (Newsflash: Maybe they can't ever pay it back. Banks: Wait . . what?) But . . why does tuition rise so faithfully? Here's one example: The University of California Berkeley has a new "vice chancellor for equity and inclusion," base salary, $194,000 (equal to 3½ new assistant professors), with his own "chief of staff" and 16 underlings. KausFiles via Daily Caller

Dictators Different From Us: Foreign Policy reminded us, apropos of Col. Gaddafi's fondness for Condoleezza Rice mementos, that other dictators had peculiarities, too. Saddam Hussein collected sleazy, tacky 1970s-style artwork (described by The Guardian's critic as "art for the barely literate, or the barely sentient"). King Farouk of Egypt had a million-dollar stamp collection, among other excesses. Michael Jordan had no greater a fan than Kim Jong-Il. The Shah of Iran was Rolls Royce's best customer. Gaddafi was sui generis, though, according to one BBC News reminiscence: "One day he was a Motown backing vocalist with wet-look permed hair and tight pants. The next, a white-suited comic-operetta Latin American admiral dripping with braid." Foreign Policy /// BBC News

Readers' Choice [story from "The (Suspend-All-Skepticism) Zone"]: It says here that Mr. Sunday Mayo, 28, claimed in court in Mandava, Zimbabwe, that he did not know he was having sex with a donkey--that it started out with him having sex with a female human prostitute. "Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested." NewZimbabwe.com



More in extended >>
Posted By: Chuck | Date: Mon Oct 31, 2011 | Comments (6)
Category:

October 30, 2011

Pizza Wars


The managers of Domino's Pizza in Lake City, Florida decided to increase their local business share by eliminating some competition. So the two geniuses set fire to the area Papa John's location gutting it. Wonder if the new Domino's managers will benefit from the plan.
Posted By: patty | Date: Sun Oct 30, 2011 | Comments (8)
Category:

Educated Feet for Correct Posture



Posted By: Paul | Date: Sun Oct 30, 2011 | Comments (2)
Category: Body, Feet, PSA's, Children

October 29, 2011

The Sins of the Fleshapoids



Four more segments on YouTube for your "enjoyment."

October 28, 2011

The One Armed Man


A Washington state man built himself a working guillotine, pictured above. He knows it works because he tested it on his own right arm.
Posted By: patty | Date: Fri Oct 28, 2011 | Comments (3)
Category:

Lifeguards Awesome



Watch now, before it's taken down.

Explanation here.
Posted By: Paul | Date: Fri Oct 28, 2011 | Comments (5)
Category: Humor, Parody, Video, Europe

Double Horror-rama!



Posted By: Paul | Date: Fri Oct 28, 2011 | Comments (2)
Category: Horror, Movies, 1950's

Johnson Smith Catalog Item #12

image

The choices are:

I'M READIN'
DOIN' MY CHORES
WASHIN' MY FEET
TRIMMIN' MY TOENAILS
TAKIN' A NAP
JIST RESTIN'
NONE OF YER BIZNESS

From the 1950 catalogue.

October 27, 2011

I Like to Stay Home



More about Moore here.
Posted By: Paul | Date: Thu Oct 27, 2011 | Comments (2)
Category: Eccentrics, Music, Avant Garde, 1980's

October 26, 2011

Wayne In The Middle


A man who was thought by his family to have been one of John Wayne Gacy's victims wasn't. A member of the family saw the man's Florida booking mugshot online and made arrangements to bring him home. The kicker? The missing man's name is Harold Wayne Lovell.
Posted By: patty | Date: Wed Oct 26, 2011 | Comments (3)
Category:
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All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.