Weird Universe Archive

May 2012

May 31, 2012

News of the Weird 2.0 (May 31, 2012)

News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012

Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 31, 2012
(datelines from May 27 or later) (links correct as of May 31)

★ ★ ★ ★!

Some North Carolina legislators, tired of all this "climate change" nonsense, seek to curb discussion once and for all. The general science says that seas will rise enough to engulf the state's lucrative coast properties so they introduced legislation to prohibit that particular bit of science. According to Replacement Bill 819, future flooding will be limited to 8 inches because that's what the historical tables show when only "linearly" extrapolated. What about if weather gets worse and worse? Do we have to use the same baselines as we did back to 1900, even if our eyes tell us they're not good baselines anymore? Exactly, said the legislators; from now on, it'll illegal to do it your way . . in North Carolina. Scientific American

Leading Economic Indicators

Times are tough. Manuel Orvalle, 35, was charged with burglary in Mesa, Ariz., after allegedly taking a man's Playstation 3 and two bags of water from the man's swimming pool. (Orvalle said there's no running water at home.) /// In Missoula, Mont., someone stole the '76 Ford Pinto from a man's back yard--a '76 Ford Pinto with four flat tires and that didn't run. KPHO-TV (Phoenix) /// The Missoulian

No, Times Aren't Tough: Allison Havir of Phoenix is offering $10,000 for return of her lost dog DiiDii, a 2-1/2 yr old German Shepherd mix. She could go higher: "No amount is too much for her." KCTV (Kansas City)

Over on the Left Tail (of the Bell Curve)

A 61-yr-old man in Decatur, Ala., was hospitalized with a toothache, or rather hospitalized for shooting himself in the jaw with a .25-caliber pistol to alleviate the toothache. Decatur Daily

More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Thu May 31, 2012 - Comments (11)

Empress of the Galapagos


A fascinating 1930s tales of nudism, orgies and murder. The clip below gives the merest taste of the endgame. Visit here for the full story.

The blog post is formatted a little oddly, with the first installment at the bottom of the page, and subsequent ones in order above it.

Posted By: Paul - Thu May 31, 2012 - Comments (2)
Category: Death, Eccentrics, Bohemians, Beatniks, Hippies and Slackers, Sexuality, 1930s, South America, Nudism

Slap me and make me beautiful

According to the Koh Chang Sun, in Thailand slapping is a government-approved alternative to plastic surgery. Slap your way to a bigger bust, better complexion, etc. Plus, it's all natural, so it must be good for you!

Posted By: Alex - Thu May 31, 2012 - Comments (9)
Category: Beauty, Ugliness and Other Aesthetic Issues

May 30, 2012

Dick Wakes Up

Personally, I'd rather listen to Jiminy Cricket as my conscience, instead of "Good Judgment."

By the way: do kids nowadays ever tell someone, "Aw, go play in traffic!"

Posted By: Paul - Wed May 30, 2012 - Comments (6)
Category: Daredevils, Stuntpeople and Thrillseekers, Death, Motor Vehicles, PSA's, Teenagers

News of the Weird 2.0 (May 30, 2012)

News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012

Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 30, 2012
(datelines from May 26 or later) (links correct as of May 30)

★ ★ ★ ★!

In a incident not weird at all but bound to vibrate Christopher Walken fans, Jim Schweickert drove from his home in Walnut, Calif., to Albany, N.Y., to give Frank Cook his gold watch back. Schweickert and Cook had met briefly in the Vietnam War, and Cook had given Schweickert his watch for safekeeping. Schweickert was so despondent after the war that he ignored his Vietnam belongings for a long time but has since done an amazing bit of detective work to find the near-stranger who had given him the watch. (No evidence that the watch had ever been safekept as in "Pulp Fiction.") Albany Times Union

Challenged People

Low-Tech: Zachariah Garrett, 17, is the most recent street thief to snatch a cell phone, get chased by cops, but make a poor choice of hideout (inside a Dumpster) when he's busted for his unfamiliarity with the "ringer" setting on the phone. /// And don't even wonder whether this iPhone thief knows about Apple's iCloud, that sends the victim all of the photos the thief has been taking. Athens Banner-Herald ///

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Idaho liquor regulators rejected selling Ogden's Own Distillery's "Five Wives Vodka" at state liquor stores because it might insult Mormons in Idaho (about 1/4 of the population), even though Ogden, of course, is in Utah. The label has five women fixing their skirts. Associated Press via

News of the Weird 1.0

Again: Snake-handling pastor Mack Wolford, 44, of the Church of the Lord Jesus in Matoaka, W.Va., died Sunday of a rattlesnake bite. The Washington Post Magazine had profiled him in November. He's going to hell, according to Mark 16:17-18, where he'll run into his dad, who died of a bite in 1983. Mack: "Praise the Lord and pass the rattlesnakes, brother." Washington Post /// Washington Post Magazine

More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Wed May 30, 2012 - Comments (8)

The Attack of the 20-Foot Baby

Posted By: Alex - Wed May 30, 2012 - Comments (7)
Category: Babies, Advertising, Giant People in Ads

May 29, 2012

The Darndest Thing

A trained hamster? Who have thought the little guys could be trained like that??

Posted By: patty - Tue May 29, 2012 - Comments (19)

News of the Weird 2.0 (May 29, 2012)

News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012

Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 29, 2012
(datelines from May 24 or later) (links correct as of May 29)

★ ★ ★ ★!

It's all right that y'all probably don't read National Enquirer because that's my job. It says here in the May 28th issue that ol' Jim Bakker still owes IRS $6m and is now pitching big-ticket apocalypse survival gear to his God-fearing followers, including the Silver Solution Total Body Cleanse Kit ($100), which has an enema element. National Enquirer

Weird People

Naples, Fla.: Steve Carr, aiming for a surprise pop-the-questioning, buried the engagement ring in the sand on a beach vacation with girlfriend Mary Naam, but then forgot where. He hired a professional sand-digger. (Bonus: Steve is "Dr." Steve Carr, a real-life brain surgeon from Denver.) WZVN-TV (Fort Myers)

Fremont, Neb.: Mr. Mel and Ms. Joey Schwanke, married 65 yrs, attribute their "success" to the matching outfits they always wear in public (167 sets of his tie custom-matching her dress). He also wears a badge with "Somebody Please Shoot Me" on it. KETV-TV

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

Kentucky has become the second state (after Illinois!) to have a state high school championship in, um, bass-fishing. Yahoo Sports

According to the report by WDAY-TV in Fargo, Chad Lindley, 40, has become the first person ever arrested in North Dakota on the charge of pimping. WDAY-TV

Florida's death toll from child neglect dropped precipitously from 2009 to 2010, a sure sign that child-welfare people are doing a better job state bureaucrats have changed the rules for counting "neglect" deaths. Sure enough! Now, when kids die in front of drunk caregivers, it's not "neglect" because "neglect" requires "willfulness." Miami Herald

More in extended >>

Posted By: Chuck - Tue May 29, 2012 - Comments (3)

Cork Clothing

For the serious wine lover!

(via blogyourwine)

Posted By: Alex - Tue May 29, 2012 - Comments (7)
Category: Fashion, Inebriation and Intoxicants

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Who We Are
Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.

Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.

Chuck Shepherd
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.

Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.

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