Inebriation and Intoxicants
I've heard about people sucking on pennies or mints to hide the alcohol fumes on their breath. But keeping a goat in the back of the car is new to me. Though I guess it could be an effective strategy.
The Bakersfield Californian - Sep 14, 1937
CHICAGO, Sept. 14. — Policeman Theodore Lambert testified that Larry Radkewicz of Berwyn was intoxicated while driving an automobile, but said he could not smell the man's breath.
"Why not?" asked Judge J.M. Braude.
"He had a goat in the back of the car," said Lambert, "and I couldn't smell anything but the goat."
Radkewicz was placed on probation.
I can't find any more info on this story, but I'd be curious to know if the woman locked bumpers with the truck while it was empty or being driven (in the latter case, the driver would have bailed when he realized that she wasn't stopping). I'm guessing there was a truck driver originally, 'cause if the truck had been parked and empty its brakes would have probably been on, making it more difficult to pull.
Kansas City Times - Nov 17, 1955
Jonesboro, Ark., Nov. 16 — A woman drove into a service station last night and said to the attendant in a confidential whisper:
"I wish you would check that guy behind me; I think he's drunk."
Police said the "guy" behind was a driverless pickup truck, whose bumper was locked with the rear bumper of the woman's car.
She was charged with driving while intoxicated.
In 1968, the General Dynamics shipyard in Quincy, Massachusetts denied the rumor that it was going to launch the USS Milwaukee
by floating it out in a "sea of beer," but company officials admitted they had been considering the idea. They figured that it would "add distinction and excitement to the float-out."
They calculated that it would have required 68 million quarts of beer to achieve the float-out, and abandoned the idea because "we just couldn't figure out what to do with 68 million non-returnable empties."
Nashua Telegraph - Sep 10, 1968
Portsmouth Herald - Sep 26, 1968
Related: The Banana-Launched Ship, 1941
Oregon's Rogue Brewery boasts that its Beard Beer
is made with only hops, malts, "free-range coastal water," and Beard Yeast collected from the beard of its brewmaster, John Maier.
Maybe it's a really great beer, but I kinda think they would have been better off keeping the source of the yeast as their own little secret.
Perhaps no one had ever complained before.
Macon Chronicle-Herald - Feb 6, 1954
Suspect Tipsy Driver Took Wrong Short Cut
AUBURN, Ind. (AP)—Carl Wilder, 39, of Pleasant Lake, Ind., was charged with drunken driving Saturday after his truck went through a farmyard, ran over a farmer's automobile and destroyed 100 yards of fence.
Wilder told doubting police: "I always take this short cut."
Police suspected he was thinking about a gravel road a half mile away.
A great moment in the history of science. Arkansas, 1956.
Corsicana Daily Sun - June 8, 1956
'Drunk-O-Meter' Test Is Fizzle: Man Passes Out
HOT SPRINGS, Ark., June 8 — An attempt to test the accuracy of the "Drunk-O-Meter," a device used to measure the degree of intoxication of a person, ended in failure at Hot Springs.
The reason—the man engaged to get drunk for science passed out before he could be measured.
The experiment was conducted by police at the request of the judges' council, an official unit of the Arkansas Bar Association.
The man drank over a 20-hour period. In that time he consumed four half pints of wine, two half pints of whiskey, four half pints of "moonshine" liquor, and a half pint of vodka.
I don't think there are many weird-news-themed beers. But back in March, Cigar City Brewing
of Tampa created a special batch of Florida Man beer
. It's an IPA with hints of grapefruit, mango and passion fruit. However, they made only 3,000 bottles that sold for $9 each at select retail locations in Florida. So probably all gone.
Are there any other foods or beverages named after weird-news themes?
Church & State wines offers a product line they call "Lost Inhibitions."
The bottles are printed with "evocative" messages in bright block lettering on the labels. They say the wines are "Made to enjoy with friends, family and great food." Yes, I can see a nice family dinner sharing a bottle of "Hashtag This Mother F#cker."
Give them Bogg's Tawny Port. It tastes like alcohol, but it's really cocaine syrup.
via The Beautiful New
All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.