Category:
Your Daily Loser
Your Daily Loser - Ishmael Makone of Johannesburg, South Africa, paid the ultimate price for his stupidity. Apparently noone bothered to warn Makone that it's a really bad idea to be underneath the structure you're trying to tear down, even though
the article claims dozens of witnesses had been watching him for days and worrying about his safety.
Jury Duty - This has to be the happiest drunk guy to ever end up in jail. Chris Carter of St. Petersburg, Florida, doesn't seem to mind that he was cited for violating his parole, driving under the influence and holding an open container of alcohol.
The Mugshot.
Two High School Seniors from Greensburg, Indiana arrested for "fooling around" in the locker room. One looks happy to be there, one not so happy. Let this be a lesson to y'all, don't go “running around naked” when everyone else is wearing a "T-shirt, gym shorts and underwear."
Mugshots and story.
Your Daily Loser - If the police are kind enough to put your drunken butt into a cab and send you home rather than write you a ticket for being drunk and disorderly, do yourself a huge favor and
stay home! Unfortunately this advice comes too late for Erik "Knucklehead" Salmons of Copley, Ohio. Once he arrived home, Salmons thought it over and decided he wasn't too drunk to drive. To prove his point, he drove himself to the police station and insisted on being given a breathalyzer... which he failed.
The Story.
Jury Duty - Is it really possible that he smokes pot? It could be that he just sells it, but I have my doubts. Being high as a kite would help to explain the hair.
The Mugshot.
I am not Chuck. So I don't hope to replace him in any way. But the Daily Loser and Jury Duty segments of WU are some of my favorites and I would miss them. Here's hoping you guys don't mind if I pick up the torch.
Your Daily Loser - Police in Northwood, New Hampshire needed an innertube to pull a burglary suspect out of a lake. The young man and his friend tried to break into a house Saturday night but were caught because a passing driver heard glass breaking and called the cops. Out of curiosity, what did they use to break the glass? Dynamite? How loud can breaking glass be that you would hear it while driving by someone's house? When the police arrived, the suspect fled, jumped into the freezing Northwood Lake and had to be rescued.
The Story. //
The Video.
Jury Duty - Two young men in Palmyra, New York have been accused of luring a calf out of a barn and butchering it because they were hungry. Sadly the article only has the mug shot from one of the suspects.
Story and Mugshot.
Your Daily Losers
Randall Fulton, Michael Wiggins, and Craig Curry, charged with swiping that recliner out of the Goodwill collection bin, loading it in their car, and driving off . . a few feet before running out of gas.
Cookeville (Tenn.) Herald-Citizen
Your Daily Loser
David Novick, driving his 3 kids and a pal around Titusville, Fla., despite a .152 blood-alcohol reading, made his worldwide movie debut yesterday, courtesy of a news team from Orlando's WFTV, who arrived just ahead of the cops at the gas station Novick had stopped at and took this footage of him, totally zonked out at the wheel. Not groggy–zonked!
WFTV // WFTV video
Your Daily Loser
Name unknown (he got away), but there he is on video at a drug store in Port Richey, Fla., handing the clerk a robbery note, only he apparently forgot to write anything at all on the paper, and the clerk, sensing the man's loserhood, called 911 right in front of him, sending him scurrying.
St. Petersburg Times
Your Daily Loser
Gregory Smallwood, 46, Anderson Township, Ohio, was charged with almost setting a girlfriend’s van on fire out of anger that she had twice fallen asleep while they were doing the deed. (Bonus: no immature editorial references to the perp’s last name)
Cincinnati Enquirer
Your Daily Loser
Michael Mahoney, 25, became the latest alleged rapist to actually think the victim (a total stranger) was into him and wanted to start hooking up with him after the rape. He gave her his phone number.
Boston Herald
All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.
Category: Death, Your Daily Jury Duty, Your Daily Loser, Alcohol, Goofs and Screw-ups