Chuck might get an entire week's worth of material from this. Mischief makers, thefts, bear costumes, calling 911 because she was hungry, disturbances, one animal complaint after another, suspicious situations and more! I just want to say that after reading this police blotter from
Cleveland, Ohio's Sun Star Courier, I feel much better about myself, and the small town in which I live.
(The image is from the July, 1946 issue of Popular Science.)
Recurring: Who came up with the idea that one way to become a mom was to carve you a fetus out of a pregnant woman's belly?
Maybe it's one of those things like first coming up with the idea of tying some leaves together, setting them on fire, and putting them in your mouth? Another pregnant woman is dead, in Pittsburgh; another woman who didn't look pregnant a few days ago says she just gave birth. (Bonus: The dead woman lay for days in an apartment, with foul odor, but no neighbor complained. "This is the ghetto. Something always smells around here.")
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Recurring: She's suing the bar because she got hurt drinking underage, and the bar shouldn't have let her in in the first place
The 20-yr-old agreed, for some reason, to accept the bartender's invitation to try the flaming shot of Bacardi 150. She's OK now, but she got burned badly that night and wants the bar to pay her $8,500 medical expenses plus lost wages.
Tampa Tribune
It’s Good to Be a British Prisoner (continuing series)
Abu Qatada, 47, who is said to be Al Qaeda’s “ambassador to Europe” and implicated in London’s 2005 subway bombings, is out now on house arrest. Britain would love to deport him to Jordan but fear he’ll be mistreated there, and that would be against UK law. So for now, he lives in the family homestead in London (said to be worth the equivalent of $1.6M) and receives
beaucoup gov’t assistance, such as the equivalent of $300 a week disability for a bad back (which entitles his wife and their four children who are under age 18 to family support of the equivalent of $1,600 a week more) and relief from the annual local tax of the equivalent of about $4,500..
Daily Mail (London)
Category: Animals, Crime, Stupidity, Urban Life, More Things To Worry About, Recurring, Goofs and Screw-ups