The Something Store

Pay 'em $10, and they'll send you something.

"It may be something you need, something you want or something you desire." Or it may not be.

"Your something will most likely be brand new." Or maybe it'll be a used piece of junk.

Some of the things it definitely won't be: alcohol, body parts, cable descrambler, drugs, endangered species, miracle cure, pyrotechnic device, brass knuckles.

Hell, I'm going to undercut them. Pay me $9, and I'll send you something! It might be an empty box, or it might not be...

Ralph Pucci Mannequins

Remember that decrepit chipped plaster figure that would artlessly display the latest back-to-school clothes in Sears? Well, those old-style mannequins have been replaced by hot new designer models.

Such as the one you see at right.

Check them all out at the Ralph Pucci site.

Booty Pop Panties

Still plenty of time to buy that flat-bottomed gal in your life a pair of Booty Pop undergarments.

Follies of the Mad Men #50

What image could possibly be great enough for our milestone fiftieth installment? Only this one!

At one time, during either the seventies or the eighties, I believe, this campaign was ubiquitous. I would run across OJ and his boots in every issue of Playboy I intended to cut up for collages, whereupon I would promptly rip out the page intact and mail it to a friend. That's why I had to find a scan on eBay, for this post, and can't tell you the exact provenance of the advertisement.

Of course, today we laugh because of OJ's appearance. "So that's how he was able to escape so fast after the murders! He deployed his third leg!"

But consider the campaign even without OJ.

First you get the off-color allusion to "third leg = penis." Then you get the Addams-Family-style associations of "Our boots are worn by mutants and freaks."

Brilliant!

Climax Shaft Clamping Collars

Shaft clamping collars have many uses:


If you need some shaft clamping collars, consider buying them from Climax Metal Products. Their customers say, "You always have it in stock even on the odd sizes."

I'm not going to make a joke about male chastity belts, or anything like that. via

Follies of the Mad Men #49

[From Playboy magazine for October 1965.]

If you wear one of our sweaters, you'll look like a ridiculous chimp.

"Me Retailer, you Jerk!"

ADDENDUM: Reader Vern notes that the text ridicules the chimp as wearing an older, out-of-style sweater, while the man sports the manufacturer's sleek new model. That's a good point. Nonetheless, how convincing is the comparison, when the human's rival is a monkey?

From the Ground Up

Are you getting enough alfalfa in your diet?

Persian Lion Business Trip

The more I watch this, the more I believe the lions are really saying what's in the subtitles.

The Front Line

As we all prepare for our imminent minimum-wage jobs during the economic meltdown, let us study how to perform them to the best of our abilities, with a cheerful smile. Consider the job of "supermarket checker," circa 1965.

New CPR Technique

All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.