Parolee tries to escape police in a high speed chase while driving a replica of the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine. The real mystery here is how a 1994 Chrysler Town & Country got up above 100 MPH during the chase.
A Biblical scholar claims that due to a mistranslation the original scripture actually says that Eve was made from Adam's penis not his rib. The professor states that man is the only mammal without a penis bone. Guess that's where it went.
Mom of the year saw a spider on her shoulder so she jumped out of her moving car (yes she was driving) with her 9 year old son in the back seat. The boy climbed over the seat and tried to get the vehicle stopped. Unfortunately he hit the gas by mistake and rammed a school bus.
An unfortunate Chinese woman who failed to answer her estranged husband's 2am phone call got a surprise visit at work the next day. The husband showed up and in a fit of temper bit her nose off and swallowed it. Due to the tissue being unrecoverable it will be at least 3 months before any reconstructive surgery can be done for her.
In the movie Jurassic Park Jeff Goldblum's character says, in conversation about the Park, "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could that they never stopped to think if they should." I think that quote is very apropos to a recent Japanese culinary accomplishment. Cheesecake made using bacteria found in gorilla feces.
Superintendent Jay Foster of Senatobia Schools in Mississippi pressed disturbing the peace charges against parents who did not follow his directions to hold applause till the end of the graduation ceremony. Not only were the offending parents removed from the audience, missing the rest of the ceremony, but they now each face a possible $500 fine. Apparently zero tolerance now extends to parents as well.
Crazy lady told her son that if he eats all the meat she will eat his dog. Apparently, not believing her, he ate all the meat. Inexplicably she made good on her threat by starting with the poor animal's testicles which she bit off. One would think a pit bull would fight back but he just ran off screeching in pain. Crazy lady then used an old tricycle to knock out a witness who tried to intervene and made her son bury her with a piece of garden hose to breathe through. The last was to hide from police, not successfully. Ta Da!!!!!!
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Chuck is the purveyor of News of the Weird, the syndicated column which for decades has set the gold-standard for reporting on oddities and the bizarre.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.