Weird Universe


Send A Tasteful Gift

Great new gift to send to special friends, Dick in a Box. Its a phallus shaped candy, and there are choices so you can pick your dick to send. NSFW at link and in comments section. More >>
Posted By: patty | Date: Thu Jan 14, 2016 | Comments (12)
Category: Jokes, Pranks, Genitals

Little Audrey Jokes

During the 1930s, a genre of cruel jokes became popular known as "Little Audrey" jokes. The short jokes were usually pretty macabre, involving various fatal events happening to people. They also featured the catch phrase that Little Audrey "just laughed and laughed".

In rare cases the bad stuff happened to Little Audrey and then people laughed and laughed at her.

You can find some more info about Little Audrey (and more jokes) in B.A. Botkin's book The American People: Stories, Legends, Tales, Traditions, and Songs.

A few of the jokes:
One day Little Audrey and her mother were driving along when all of a sudden the car door flew open and Little Audrey's mother fell out. Little Audrey just laughed and laughed, 'cause she knew all the time that her mother had on her light fall suit.

Little Audrey and her grandma were standing on their front porch watching the men pave their street. There was a cement mixer, a steam roller, and all kinds of things to watch. All of a sudden grandma saw a quarter out there right in the middle of the street. She dashed right out to get it, but just as she picked it up along came that old steam roller and rolled her out flatter than a sheet of theme paper. Little Audrey just laughed and laughed, 'cause she knew all the time it was only a dime.

Little Audrey was playing with matches. Mama said, "Ummm, you better not do that." But Little Audrey was awful hard-headed; she kept right on playing with matches, and after a while she set the house on fire, and it burned right down to the ground. Mama and Little Audrey were looking at the ashes, and mama said, "Uh huh, I told you so! Now, young lady, just wait until your papa comes home. You certainly will catch it!" Little Audrey just laughed and laughed. She knew all the time that papa had come home an hour early and had gone to bed to take a nap.

Little Audrey was standing on the corner just a-crying and a-crying, when along comes a cop, who said, "Little Audrey, why are you crying?" And Little Audrey said, "Oh, I've lost my papa!" The cop said, "Why Little Audrey, I wouldn't cry about that. There's your papa right across the street leaning against that bank building." Little Audrey was overjoyed; without even looking at the traffic she started across the street. Along came a big two-ton truck that ran over Little Audrey and killed her dead. The cop just laughed and laughed. He knew all the time that that was not Little Audrey's papa leaning against the bank building.
Posted By: Alex | Date: Mon Feb 10, 2014 | Comments (10)
Category: 1930's, Jokes

The Jokes of King George VI

Thanks to the recent movie The King's Speech, King George VI is now best known as the king who stuttered. But apparently he also occasionally told jokes. Several of them are reproduced below. They're not bad, for a royal. [Milwaukee Journal — Apr 25, 1937]
  • [In response to a speaker who was praising him in extravagant terms]. "I am reminded," he said, "of the woman who went to her husband's funeral service. The couple had never got on well together, but the minister devoted his long sermon to a panegyric of the husband's virtues. So glowing a picture did he paint that the widow completely failed to recognize her late husband. 'Milly,' she nudged her friend and whispered loudly, 'is there another corpse about?'"
  • There was a petrol dump where men sent a canary down into the empty tank to see if the atmosphere was safe for them to go down and clean it out. One day the foreman saw a man walking about in the bottom of the tank before the canary had been let down. "Hey, what are you doing there?" he yelled. In all seriousness the man below shouted back: "I'm just seeing if it's all right for me blinkin' canary."
Posted By: Alex | Date: Sat Apr 27, 2013 | Comments (0)
Category: Humor, Jokes, Royalty, 1930's

1000-Year-Old Irish Joke

This joke was found in a manuscript now preserved in the British Library. The language of the joke (Old Irish) indicates that it was written about a thousand years ago. The text is translated by Dennis King. So were those medieval Irish monks funny or not?

Three monks turned their back on the world. They go into the wilderness to repent their sins before God.

They did not speak to one another for the space of a year. Then one of the men said to another at the end of the year, "We are well," said he.

Thus it was for another year. "It is well indeed," said the second man.

They were there after that for another year. "I swear by my habit," said the third man, "if you do not allow me some quiet I will abandon the wilderness entirely to you!"

Posted By: Alex | Date: Sun Oct 07, 2012 | Comments (8)
Category: Humor, Jokes

Beatnik Jokes

Posted By: Paul | Date: Sat May 12, 2012 | Comments (6)
Category: Bohemians, Beatniks, Hippies and Slackers, 1960's, Jokes

Johnson Smith Catalog Item #9


Of course any lady would be thrilled to be presented with a "real dimond," especially if you told her it was her engagement ring, and then have a cap explode in her face!

From the 1930s catalog.
Posted By: Paul | Date: Wed Sep 21, 2011 | Comments (3)
Category: Destruction, Explosives, Jewelry, Johnson Smith Catalog, 1930's, Jokes

Johnson Smith Catalog Item #7


Sure to win you tons of friends.

From the 1930s catalog.
Posted By: Paul | Date: Tue Sep 06, 2011 | Comments (3)
Category: Animals, Johnson Smith Catalog, 1930's, Jokes

Follies of the Mad Men #35

[From Life magazine for June 2 1952.]

Yes, in the 1950's every husband and father had to be emasculated in every possible way. Imagine trying to conduct some kind of Tennessee Williams-inspired affair with your local Liz Taylor of the suburbs while wearing these. The laughter would be heard from one end of the motel to the other!
Posted By: Paul | Date: Sat Oct 11, 2008 | Comments (7)
Category: Business, Advertising, Fashion, Humor, Jokes, Public Indecency, Husbands, 1950's

World’s Oldest Joke Discovered!

Archaeologists have just discovered the world's oldest joke, as ably pointed out in today's Weird News picks by Minister Chuck.

But I can't resist adding that I hope they never dig up this one.

Posted By: Paul | Date: Sat Aug 02, 2008 | Comments (4)
Category: Death, History, Archaeology, Humor, Comedians, Jokes, Television
Page 1 of 1 pages
Custom Search

weird universe thumbnail

This page has been viewed 39844205 times.
All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.