Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #8

With small, ingenious modifications, may also be used as penis pump.

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #7

Evil Randy Runcemeyer had the stag cassettes, featuring Fat Albert and Sabrina doing the nasty!

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #6

With these kids, hygiene has crossed the line to perversion.

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #5

How sadistic is a father who actually has pre-printed cards ready, announcing "The Phantom Strikes!"...?

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #4

No one ever suspected Garden Gal of growing dope.

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #3

Pedro, "The Narco-Beast of Sinaloa," is ready to kill Gabbigale for ratting on his secret greed.

Freddy Flossisaurus

Tell me what I'm missing here, please.

Cheap stuffed puppet: $10.00

Fake dentures from gag shop: $5.00

Toothbrush: $1.00

Total cost of teaching device: $16.00, max. And that's paying retail!

So why does Freddy Flossisaurus cost $316.00 at this medical-supply site!?!

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #2

The girl in the blue outfit in panel ten is one step away from an epileptic fit.

Kenner 1973 Toy Catalog, #1

For the next seventeen days, we'll be featuring a different page from this 1973 comics insert, a catalog of groovy, goofball Kenner toys, with utterly cheapjack illustrations and asinine text.

I hope lots of folks of the proper age get a flash of powerful nostalgia. Myself, I was already in college when this advert ran.

Ten Worst Toys 2008

Stock up now on Xmas gifts for the rugrats you dislike the most! The official Killer Toys of 2008.

All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.