Scott Allen Meek is running for President, and he's not afraid to call attention to serious issues. For instance, right at the top of his campaign website he points out that "California is in it's 5th year of a Serious Draught."
He's the only candidate I'm aware of who's ever drawn attention to this problem, but as a California resident, I can confirm that it's absolutely true. Sometimes it gets so draughty here that I have to put on a sweatshirt. And as someone who's spent quite a bit of time in the UK, I appreciate his use of the British spelling of the word.
Other issues important to Meek include the promotion of desalination and hemp farming.
Heidi Peterson left her Detroit home empty for a year, and when she returned, she says, she found a woman, Missionary-Tracey Elaine Blair, squatting there. The woman refuses to leave, and apparently you can't just kick someone out who's squatting. You have to go to court, prove you own the property, and then get an eviction order. So now both women are living there together.
Missionary-Tracey Elaine Blair, for her part, says she's not squatting. She insists she has a lease. [Yahoo! News]
Whatever the case may be, the experience certainly qualifies Missionary-Tracey Elaine Blair to occupy the highest office in the land and squat in the White House for four years. So she's campaigning as a write-in candidate for President, and wants your vote. That's her below, posing with George Washington. Remember her name on election day!
South Korea has an interesting candidate running for president — Huh Kyung-young. It's his third time running. Last time, in 2007, he got 10,000 votes, but he's convinced there was a miscount and that this time around he'll win. A few facts from his bio:
He says he has an IQ of 430.
He wants to move the U.N. headquarters to the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea.
He claims Michael Jackson's soul visited him three days before the singer died. Inspired by the visit, Huh later produced a record titled, "Call Me."
He wants to give $100,000 to all couples who get married, and $30,000 to anyone who has a baby. How to pay for this? "Where there is a will, there is a way. I have all the solutions in my head. Remember, my IQ is 430."
At the age of 57, he acquired supernatural powers.
From the 1930s to the 1970s Lar "America First" Daly ran for just about every elective office, including Senator, President, Governor, and Mayor. He never won. This may have had something to do with his campaign slogan: "America First -- or Death."
He campaigned wearing an Uncle Sam suit. He would promote his candidacy by driving around Chicago in a sound truck. (Is this where the Blues Brothers got the idea?) When not campaigning, he earned a living by operating a chair and stool company out of the garage behind his house.
Some of the issues he supported:
• Any witness who invokes the 5th amendment to the constitution should be sent to prison.
• Known dope peddlers should be shot on sight (after first receiving a seven day warning to get out of town).
He described himself as "known throughout America as Sen. Douglas MacArthur's greatest supporter." He filed MacArthur's name for President in every election from 1936 onwards.
In the 1950s he boasted that he was the only candidate "100 per cent behind" Sen. McCarthy's investigations into domestic Communist activities.
He told President Truman that he wanted to accompany the crew of the first American plane to fly over Moscow so that he could release the atomic bomb over the Kremlin.
But his real claim to fame came from his constant demands to be given equal time whenever a mainstream candidate appeared on air, citing Section 315 of the Communications Act, the so-called "equal time" provision. Because of him, Congress amended the law so that broadcasters didn't always have to give equal time.
Once he was effectively barred from free air time, he began buying ads in newspapers. An example of one is reproduced below. He died in 1978.
Henry Krajewski, New Jersey pig farmer, was the self-proclaimed candidate of the Poor Man's Party. He ran three times for president, in 1952, 1956 and 1960. Plus, he ran for Governor and Senator. His most successful campaign was his 1954 run for Senator, in which he got 23,000 votes. He didn't win, but he was credited with being a spoiler, his votes enabling Republican candidate Clifford Case to win a close election over Democrat Charles Howell.
Krajewski campaigned with a pig under his arm. The pig, he said, "squeals like the people for a fair deal." His slogan was "No piggy deals in Washington." He also promised "more beer parties for the poor man" as well as "free milk for all school children with the cost paid by the Government."
He chose the pig as his symbol because he felt it symbolized peace and prosperity. The reasoning behind this was a) it was a gentle animal; and b) there was no waste on it (all the parts are eaten).
He raised funds for his campaign through the sale of a polka record: "Hey, Krajewski!"
He favored a two-president system because "if you had a Democrat and a Republican in the White House at the same time, they'd be so busy watching each other that there would be no danger of a dictatorship." He was also a supporter of Joseph McCarthy and his campaign to root out suspected communists.
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Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.
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