Florida inventor Vladimir Laurent recently received a patent for a device which he describes as a "toilet sanitary shield for male genitalia."
From his patent application:
The toilet sanitary shield for male genitalia is a device that is placed in the toilet to prevent the male genitalia from touching the walls of the toilet while in use. The toilet sanitary shield for male genitalia comprises a shield, a securing device, and a ball and socket joint.
Laurent told the South Florida Business Journal
, "It's a home product and it's designed for a specific need, for something that I felt was needed, personally." He also said that he's spent "between $25,000 and $30,000" on developing the product.
His patent included a line drawing (below) which illustrates his device being used. I've put a purple circle over the male dangly bit, in order to avoid any risk of offending that company which pays our web hosting bill (because that company is easily offended). You can see the unaltered patent image at the South Florida Biz Journal link above.
, the funniest phrase I have ever seen, is how they refer to someone going through an Ikea drawing penises on everything, in Denmark. Not the first definition I'd have thought of but it works. Also, no, it was not some kid who was bored while mom shopped. A 31 year old grown man went through an Ikea and drew 30 penises on various items in the store. Bet his Mama is proud.
Richard Langtry became a little over-enthusiastic during a day of team building and decided to give his employee, Michael Peacock, a friendly male-bonding tug. Which is to say he "grabbed [Peacock's] left testicle, squeezed it hard and pulled it down as if to rip it from his groin." Peacock is now one nut short, and is suing just about everyone even remotely associated with the day of team building. [pix11.com
Crazy lady told her son that if he eats all the meat she will eat his dog
. Apparently, not believing her, he ate all the meat. Inexplicably she made good on her threat by starting with the poor animal's testicles which she bit off. One would think a pit bull would fight back but he just ran off screeching in pain. Crazy lady then used an old tricycle to knock out a witness who tried to intervene and made her son bury her with a piece of garden hose to breathe through. The last was to hide from police, not successfully. Ta Da!!!!!!
Some women, aproximately 12
%, are allergic to their partner's semen. Even worse, some men are allergic to their own semen. The allergy causes some nasty reactions in both cases unfortunately.
Injecting your penis
with vasoline to make it appear larger is a very bad idea. The description of the surgery necessary to effect repairs is cringe-worthy.
Archeologists on a dig in Gdansk, Poland found something interesting in a 18th century toilet. A 300 year old dildo
. It is constructed from leather with a wooden head. At 8 inches it seems to indicate high expectations.
Lacey Wildd intends to undergo a 13th cosmetic surgery to increase her breasts to a QQQ
How sad does one's life have to be for him to follow a woman around Walmart and masterbate? Bonus: it was the Kissamee
Walmart but I don' t think he got a kiss.