Poulet a la Baby Poop

"Yes, Mr. Dithers, we did happen to clean the chicken in the same sink where Junior had his bath. Why do you ask? What do you mean, Dagwood won't be getting that raise?!?"

Alternate interpretation: "Cannibals? Us?"

For the full story, visit here.

Every Child

Death Wish

Police in North Vernon, Indiana say it is obvious this man had a death wish. That may not be so uncommon for men his age and perhaps in his profession, but he accomplished it in a very disturbing fashion. I've followed the events in The North Vernon Plain Dealer & Sun, but I do find it somewhat unnerving that the story is making the rounds through many newspapers in central and southern Indiana, as I fear widespread dissemination of the story may open the door to copycats.
UPDATE: Meth, unsuprisingly, played a role. Greensburg Daily News

Unrelated bonus mugshot from the same paper of Nikkiah C. Weddle, a loving mother, that just appears slothful. I feel that her having smoked marijuana three weeks earlier will play a heavy role in her defense, since we've all smoked a joint that we took almost a full month to recover from.

New Year’s Eve Anticipation!

Wheelie Bin Stickers

I'm very confused. A dead baby is found in a recycling center. That's happened before. But then the authorities issue "wheelie bin stickers" as a response. Did they look like this?

Wanted:  Fernando Botero Model!

You might have been following this recent case of a stolen baby. I suggest the police interrogate famous Colombian artist Botero. Surely the suspect has previously modeled for Botero at some point.

Stranger Slaps Toddler

In a Walmart in Stone Mountain, Georgia a complete stranger goes up to the mother of a crying toddler and said, "If you don't shut the baby up, I will shut her up for you." Usually this is an empty threat made out of annoyance, but this time the threat was real. The man, 61 year old Roger Stephens, ended up slapping the little girl in the face several times. The man was later arrested for "first-degree cruelty to children", but not before telling the mother "See, I told you I would shut her up." The man later apologized, but I think that the damage has already been done. CNN

Your Daily Loser, In Couple Form and Another Animal Found Where It Didn’t Belong

Things sure have changed since I was a kid and fast food worker (about ten years ago). Back then the fast food workers would've been high and hoping the customers didn't notice, but last Friday it was an Arby's employee calling to report a drive-thru customer indulging with his girlfriend and one-year-old in the car. The boyfriend is free on bond after charges of neglect of a dependent and possession of marijuana were filed against him. The Indy Star

And from Rensselaer, Indiana comes a report of a 17 and 14-year-old who finally slaughtered a 150 pound, 6 foot long, alligator with a shotgun after their frog spears failed to do the trick. And no, they will not face criminal charges since alligators are not considered a game species in Indiana. The Indy Channel

Man Babies

Did you ever want to know what it would look like if a man and a baby were to switch heads? Now you can see what it would look like and order the shirt to show everyone else. Man Babies

Weird Sex

To kick off, here's the story that inspired the theme of today's post. A Franciscan monk from a monastery near Krakow in Poland has leapt into the bestseller lists with a Catholicism-friendly sex-manual for couples "who love God". Hailed as a Catholic "Kama Sutra", Father Ksawery Knotz's book - demurely titled "Seks" - has been published with the blessing of the Polish Church and goes (apparently) well beyond the "missionary position" of lore, though it keeps with holy tradition by counselling against contraception (The Guardian).

But when it comes to sex education, it is perhaps the Germans rather than the Poles who need to learn the facts of life, or at least, German editors do. In a shock result, a poll by German youth magazine Bravo has revealed that teens have a familiarity with drink and porn that belies their "tender years". The 2009 "Dr. Sommer Study" found that 79% of youths aged 14-17 had seen pornography, and 50% had been drunk at least once, 36% to the point of incapacity. This latter result may also go a way to explaining the 28% of teenagers who admitted to having had unprotected sex (The Local).

Perhaps Germany could take a leaf out of North Carolina's book, where the "Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign" has started a service where teens can text-in for sex advice from their mobile phones, getting the answer back the same way(Fay Observer). I wonder what answer you get if you text "Hlp my cndms splt! Wht doi do?", "Ur 2 L8, mrri hr!" perhaps?

Of course it's easy to pull off a discrete text message, but there are times when it's necessary to get your sex advice in person, with all the embarrassment that entails. Except that is for patients to the UK's Chalmers Hospital, where as part of a major refurbishment a private corridor is being added to and from the sex-clinic, so that visitors need never have to pass through the public areas (BBC News).

And as if to show that the British medical profession has its finger on the pulse of sexual health, members at a recent conference of the Royal College of Nursing voted 93% to 7% to call for the legalisation of "co-operative" brothels. Their hope is that by encouraging prostitutes to band together in licensed "mini-brothels", they would be safer from violence and exploitation and be more easily screened for STDs (The Scotsman).

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All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.