Christian Pirate Rap

Grade A Exegesis

The Vatican, Without Sin, Casts The First Stone

The year is 1482. The Vatican has just released a statement that reads, "ordaining women into the priesthood was a sin on par with pedophilia." Nobody blinks and life goes on... oh, gosh, I'm sorry! It wasn't 1482 after all. That statement was issued this year. Just a few days ago, in fact. You can see how I might have gotten the dates wrong, though, since that kind of misogynous declaration couldn't possibly hold true today. Unfortunately, they really said it. But why? Author Tim Padgett, in Time magazine, explains it "When any institution is as convinced of its own moral infallibility as the Catholic Church is, it tends to lash out at criticism - especially charges as serious as the priestly rape of children - with Dostoyevskian paranoia. And the church then fortifies its less popular stances, like an all-male priesthood or the condemnation of gays, in the process becoming even more uncompromising." And don't start thinking that Mr. Padgett is against the Church, or Christianity, in any way. He was sitting in mass, watching his daughter serve as an altar girl, on Sunday, when he got the idea for his article.

Lucifer’s Women

Also known as DOCTOR DRACULA.

Devil’s Dance of Prizzi

The devil's dance of Prizzi from todavideo on Vimeo.

More information here.

Best Graduation Speech Ever

God Made Me Do It

If this book is not pure catnip for us WU-vies, I'm not sure what is. Here's the product description from the link to the right:

Does God, in His infinite wisdom, convince people to get rid of their car insurance? Does He encourage cannibalism? Does the God of more than six billion people actually have time to root for the Minnesota Vikings?

According to some, yes. How do they know? God told them. Luckily, God also told Marc Hartzman to write this book, a collection of the most shocking, absurd, and hilarious things people have ever claimed God asked them to do, and to present them for your pure reading enjoyment.

Including:

* The man that God told to perform surgery on himself
* God's generous offer to miraculously fill his believer's gas tank
* The fateful day God (assumedly feeling nostalgic for his teen years) asked a man to TP a police station
* The woman God instructed to direct traffic—topless
* And, sadly, many more

Gay News Today

Was Jesus Gay? Elton John seems to think so. He stated as much in a recent Parade magazine interview. Of course the mere idea struck terror into the hearts of all homophobic Christians and those who choose to interpret the bible as saying "discriminate openly" rather than "love thy fellow man".

And what about those silly gay people who want to serve in the military? Surprisingly, a recent CBS News poll asking about Obama's wish to repeal the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, finds that a majority of the public support allowing openly gay men and women to serve. But what's even more surprising is that the same poll doesn't want homosexuals to serve. I suppose the poll was worded badly. Or maybe the people who answered that poll still think gay means 'having or showing a merry, lively mood'. In that case, who wouldn't want a bunch of merry old souls in the military?

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Bible and Cleavage

bible from ilovealison on Vimeo.

Not entirely sure of the message of this video. Pocket Bibles fit well between boobs? Zombies are at the door? What's your take?

Beyond Belief Extra – Fiat Novitas!

Next month will see the Global Atheist Convention in Melbourne in Australia, where several thousand of the faithful faithless will gather to hear the like of Dawkins, PZ Myers and AC Grayling hold forth on enlightenment, reason, truth and science. Oh and they may mention God and religion once or twice. But isn’t it a little weird for a bunch of atheists to start acting like a religion? Maybe a bit, according to the head of the Atheist Foundation of Australia, David Nicholls. “[Atheists] do not believe in shoving views down thoats. They mistrust group-think and are suspicious of institutions. […] Atheists are, by definition, not joiners.” Individualists or not, over 2500 will congregate this March to swap thoughts and ideas, as a group (Sydney Morning Herald).

And if you can have an atheist congregation, how long will it be before there’s an atheist preacher? Well this is exactly the situation the Dutch Protestant Church found themselves in recently after one of their number, Klass Hendrikse, published a book called Believing in a God who does not exist. Surprisingly, they have decided to do nothing, concluding that Hendrikse’s beliefs, which include that God is not a real being but just a word for people’s shared feelings, are not so different from many other liberal theologies (RNW).

Slightly less tolerance was shown to Mark Edward Tynan of the Christian faith group “Servants of Jesus” this week when the Australian health watchdog banned him from practising any form of mental health medicine. The Psychologists Tribunal sadly took a dim view of Tynan’s opinion that dissociative identity disorder was caused by demons, and that one child’s mental health problems were due to her parents having dedicated her life to Satan. His innovative treatment plans of prayer and exorcisms were also roundly disapproved of (Telegraph(AU)).

Someone else to lose their job over a wacky belief this week is Baroness Jenny Tonge, shadow health spokesperson for the UK’s Liberal Democrat Party. Her problems started when an American blogger called Stephen Lendman resurrected the old “organ harvesting” myth in an article that accused Israeli medical teams sent to Haiti of doing just that. The allegations appeared in the Palestine Telegraph ,of which Tonge is patron, but it was for her suggestion to the Jewish Chronicle that an inquiry should be held to “dispel any rumours” that she got into trouble. Unfortunately for her, Liberal Party leader Nick Clegg did not feel the Israeli doctors should have to prove themselves innocent of any and all nonsense flung their way, and promptly removed her from her post (Spiked).

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All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.