Shoplifting 101 - When NOT To Shoplift

In a move that would have fit right into the movie Dumb and Dumber, two young men were caught shoplifting... from a store full of more than sixty uniformed police officers. The annual 'Shop With A Cop' event in Portland marks the beginning of the school year as the officers take dozens of needy children to a local store to purchase school supplies. Store security notified the police that the two men were stuffing their backpacks with items. The men stated "we thought the police would be distracted." You can read more about it here.

You Say Tomayto, I Say Tomahto

While this happened years ago, I wanted to share it with those of you who need a good laugh today. Jodee Berry, then aged 26 of Panama City, Florida, sued the Hooter's restaurant where she used to work because she was misled over a prize in a beer selling contest.

Can’t Do Anything Right?  You Are Not Alone

If you stay up late all the time, like I do, chances are you've seen some of the infomercials that this video is based upon. I'm willing to bet you feel better about yourself after you've watched this.

One Stop Weird News Shopping

Chuck might get an entire week's worth of material from this. Mischief makers, thefts, bear costumes, calling 911 because she was hungry, disturbances, one animal complaint after another, suspicious situations and more! I just want to say that after reading this police blotter from Cleveland, Ohio's Sun Star Courier, I feel much better about myself, and the small town in which I live.

(The image is from the July, 1946 issue of Popular Science.)

Amphibious Assault

Never let it be said that Florida is boring. In April, In Port St. Lucie, Carl J. Frost was arrested and charged with aggravated domestic battery - for hitting his roommate's son (Jason) in the head with a five pound ceramic frog. Mr. Frost is claiming self defense, of course, because Jason punched him first. One of the folks who left a comment on the article made a valid point: "You people shouldn't make fun of this situation. A five-pound ceramic object can be very dangerous. If the victim had been hit hard enough, he could have croaked."

These Things Don’t Only Happen in Florida

Some people have a dog, or a cat. Others have more exotic pets. But you don't often come across anyone that keeps chickens (unless they plan to eat the suckers at some point). Lauren Steltzer, of Lower Merion, Pennsylvania, not only keeps chickens as pets, but when two of the chickens went missing recently, she put up posters around the neighborhood and updated her Facebook page. Unfortunately, the police in Lower Merion didn't get the message and when a police officer responded to a call for a chicken at large, he did what anyone else would do when confronted with such a ferocious beast... he got a friend to shoot it (with a bow and arrow!). At least the police department admits that they could have shown better judgement. Read the original article here.

A Little Light Weirdness – 9

First up, apologies if this post contains more typos than usual, I'm sending it from my new ultra-small netbook and I'm still getting used to its itty-bitty keyboard. Which brings me nicely to my first story. That according to a survey for satellite channel SKY-HD, British consumers waste £52 billion a year on hi-tech features they don't use. For example, half of the people polled did not know their high definition television also required a hi-def signal source such as a blu-ray player or HD satellite receiver – like the ones sold by SKY-HD perhaps (Telegraph).

And it's not just the the British, military officials in Russia recently discovered 100 front-line battletanks parked and forgotten by the side of the road near Yekaterinburg in the Urals. Locals say the tanks, which were unguarded and unlocked, have been there for several months and lack only ammunition and the all important starter keys (Reuters).

Someone who might have had a use for those tanks were guests at a wedding in New Delhi in India recently. The Hindu ceremony was somewhat marred when an elephant hired for the event went on a rampage after becoming aroused by the smell of a nearby female in heat. The amorous pachyderm then proceeded to crush 20 limousines, smash through a nearby mall and mount a truck before it could be tranquilised (Orange).

Also losing it this week was the man on the RyanAir flight who found he had won 10,000 euros on a scratchcard he bought on the budget flight from Poland to the UK. Furious that the airline had not seen fit to equip all their planes with the requisite amount of cash onboard, hence he could not be given his prize there and then as he demanded, the unnamed passenger ate the winning card rather than wait to claim it at his destination (BBC News).

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Weird Shorts - Boys and Girls

It’s an old excuse, whenever a man is caught eyeing-up another woman by his partner we’ll often claim that it’s not our fault, it’s just the way we’re wired. Well not according to neuroscientists at Gwinnett College in Georgia. Researchers there monitored the brain activity of 14 men while showing them pictures of women’s behinds taken before and after surgery designed to give them Beyonce like curves. The scans showed ‘reward areas’ of the men’s brains more commonly associated with drugs or alcohol lit up more in response to the redesigned rumps. In other words, we do it because we like it (Orange).

But if what most attracts men is a great set of lady bumps, what would top women’s list of desirable traits in their perfect man? That’s what online matchmakers UKDating wanted to know, so they analysed the responses of 83,000 lovelorn women to find the top ten most wanted male characteristics. And number one was… a salary over £50k ($75k). Bizarrely, being good looking came in at number 9, just above being 5’11” tall and five places below owning an Audi TT. But do girls really only like cars and money, or does this finding perhaps explain why these particular girls had to resort to a dating service in the first place (News:Lite)?

The economics of relationships also features in the new book from Karyn Langhorne Folan. In Don’t Bring Home A White Boy, Folan describes today’s black women as being stuck in “market failure”, with college educated black women outnumbering their male counterparts by 3 to 1. This severely restricts the women’s options unless they look outside their own race. “In this case, we are the commodity and the new market is men of other races,” states Foley, who is herself a Harvard-educated lawyer, “it’s Econ 101 for the single, educated black woman” (STL Today).

Mind you, women aren’t always a commodity, sometimes they’re the consumer. At least that’s what Cuban cigar maker Habanos is hoping. In an effort to boost sales in a market hit hard by anti-smoking legislation the world-over, Habanos have produced what they’re billing as the first Cuban cigar specifically for female smokers. Their new Julieta brand is smaller and milder in hopes of being more appealing to women, but still manages to keep that phallic edge to its image (Sky News).

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Safety in Offices

When your office is staffed by the Three Stooges.

Instant Karma

Jesse Gonzalez, 24, of Bridgeport Connecticut, was struck by a car and a bus while fleeing the scene of a fatal shooting Monday evening. Apparently Jesse and his father, Joaquin Gonzalez, had a history of domestic violence and officers had been called to their home before to settle disputes. But the argument on February 22 ended badly. Jesse is accused of shooting his father in the head, killing him. The article includes photos and a video.

All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.