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Category:
Overpriced Merchandise

Golden Wipe

My German grandfather often used to say, "Ich bin kein Dukatenscheisser." (I don't s**t money.) But if he had this roll of toilet paper, he could have wiped with money. Or rather, gold.

It's 6-layer toilet paper embossed with 24-karat gold plate. It comes in 2 versions: either with the words 'Happy Birthday' or an Alpine rose embossed on it. Yours for only 178.50 Euros ($245, according to my desktop currency converter).



Posted By: Alex | Date: Fri Apr 04, 2014 | Comments (9)
Category: Bathrooms, Overpriced Merchandise, Baths, Showers and Other Cleansing Methods, Excrement

Nuke Lamp



Add a little armageddon chic to your home with the Nuke Lamp from VeneriDesign. It's yours for only $1,445.53.

If they're charging that much, couldn't they have rounded down to an even $1445?
Posted By: Alex | Date: Mon Mar 03, 2014 | Comments (7)
Category: Armageddon and Apocalypses, Furniture, Overpriced Merchandise

Starbucks Limited Edition Card

It's a gift card that costs $450, but it only gets you $400 worth of store credit. The extra $50 pays for the card itself, which comes in a "stunning rose gold hue."

But it's too late to get one, because they went on sale on Dec. 6 and sold out in minutes. [bitterwallet.com]

Posted By: Alex | Date: Fri Dec 27, 2013 | Comments (9)
Category: Overpriced Merchandise

Futuristic Euro3plast Gnome

"A colored resin sculpture suitable for outdoor and indoor settings. In the luminescent version it acts as a 'dwarf guard' thanks to a luminous resin that absorbs light momentarily and then releases it for several hours, making it a small presence in the night." Available at Plust.it. According to Esquire, it only costs $340.



Posted By: Alex | Date: Sat Dec 21, 2013 | Comments (8)
Category: Overpriced Merchandise

White t-shirt

How much would you pay for this white t-shirt? Does $495.00 sound about right? It is made in Italy, after all, out of "viscose/silk". Get yours at needlessly marked up Neiman Marcus.

Posted By: Alex | Date: Wed Mar 13, 2013 | Comments (6)
Category: Fashion, Overpriced Merchandise

$290.67 Paper Bag

It's made from coated brown paper. It has stitched seams at each side with two gold-colored metal eyelets at the bottom. But, most importantly, it has the name "Jill Sander" printed at the bottom. This bag could have been yours for only $290.67 -- but you're too late. It's already sold out! [via hypebeast]

Posted By: Alex | Date: Thu Sep 06, 2012 | Comments (10)
Category: Fashion, Overpriced Merchandise

The Chainsaw Bag

We here at Weird Universe like to make sure our readers remain on the cutting edge of fashion, so we urge you to make sure you're sporting Facetasm's new Chainsaw Bag whenever you go outside. It costs only ¥178,500 JPY, or $2,249. So it's a bargain. Naturally it can't be used to carry an actual chainsaw. Links: hypebeast.com, contemporaryfix-store.com.

Posted By: Alex | Date: Thu Jul 26, 2012 | Comments (11)
Category: Fashion, Overpriced Merchandise

Weird Animals - Och Aye The Roo!

The week saw the publication of the 2010 Eden Wildlife Report, which tracks the numbers of foreign species introduced to the UK over the past century. Compiled by Dr. Toni Bunnell and a team from the University of Hull, the report mentions wallabies thriving in Scotland, scorpions setting up home in Kent and aardvarks that have somehow emigrated from Brazil to Cumbria (Telegraph).

Of course, this won’t be news to one member of Britain’s thriving rod-fishing community, who this week caught a piranha in his local pond (Guardian).

Another place you might not expect to see exotic creatures is on your lunch menu, but that didn’t stop one restaurant owner in Mesa, AZ from putting “lion burgers” on the menu to celebrate soccer’s World Cup. Cameron Selogie of the Il Vinaio makes his “mane course” with genuine lion meat imported from South Africa, earning him the ire of local animal rights groups and several death threats, but not a reprimand from health officials. According to an FDA spokesman serving lion meat is perfectly legal, as long as it’s not roar (Scotsman).

Slightly luckier than the lions, one cat who has fallen on his feet is Oscar, a housecat from the Isle of Jersey in the UK, widely billed as the “bionic cat” after successfully receiving two artificial hind legs to replace the ones he lost in an altercation with a combine harvester (BBC News).

You might think pitting a rodent like mammal against a 12 tonne Triceratops makes for an equally one-sided match up, but evidence emerged recently that our primitive ancestors occasionally feasted upon dinosaurs. Seventy-five million year old “gnaw marks” of a kind characteristic of early mammals, and belonging to a creature not much bigger than a squirrel, have been found on the fossil bones both of Tricerotops and the crocodile-like predator Champsosaurus (LiveScience).

Sadly today the nearest we get to dinosaur flesh is turkey or chicken, but not all birds were prized solely for their meat. The huia bird of New Zealand for example, was once used to make the feathered head-dresses of Maori chiefs, until predation from accidentally introduced species drove it to extinction around 1907. But if the bird has gone its feathers have not, and one recently became the most expensive feather ever when it sold at auction for NZ$8000, i.e. $4000 American (Telegraph).

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Live Like a Tsar

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The same armored car company that built cars for Tsar Nicholas, Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trotsky are now offering the Dartz Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition armored car with whale penis leather seats. This SUV also comes with gold plated bulletproof windows, a tungsten exhaust, diamond and ruby encrusted gauges, a external Kevlar coating and three bottles of the most expensive vodka made (RussoBaltique). The asking price for this dorky SUV comes in at a whopping 1.6 million dollars. It's set to be showcased at next years Top Marques show in Monaco.
Sydney Morning Herald/Dartz
Posted By: mdb777 | Date: Sat Oct 24, 2009 | Comments (3)
Category: Motor Vehicles, Overpriced Merchandise, Foreign Customs

Love Day

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As any fan of The Simpsons knows, Springfield once celebrated a totally bogus and greed-stoked holiday known as Love Day.












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Utterly oblivious to any satirical implications that make them look like idiots, the famed jeweler Cartier has decided to celebrate Love Day too. I find references to this "holiday" going back to 2007.

Here's their home page.
Posted By: Paul | Date: Wed Jun 10, 2009 | Comments (4)
Category: Business, Advertising, Holidays, Humor, Overpriced Merchandise, Cartoons
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All original content in posts is Copyright © 2008 by the author of the post, either Alex Boese ("Alex"), Paul Di Filippo ("Paul"), or Chuck Shepherd ("Chuck"). All rights reserved. The banner illustration at the top of this page is Copyright © 2008 by Rick Altergott.