The Illinois State Lottery is not currently paying out jackpots above $25,000 until the state budget is passed. There's not even an estimated time frame for the winners who are waiting for their payouts. As you can imagine, the winners have a problem with this.
Superintendent Jay Foster of Senatobia Schools in Mississippi pressed disturbing the peace charges against parents who did not follow his directions to hold applause till the end of the graduation ceremony. Not only were the offending parents removed from the audience, missing the rest of the ceremony, but they now each face a possible $500 fine. Apparently zero tolerance now extends to parents as well.
A new nut job conspiracy theory has hatched recently. Apparently the handful of Walmart stores that were closed unexpectedly are supposedly tied to a military operation called Jade Helm. The operation has something to do with declairing martial law by summer. Or the stores have plumbing issues that require closing up to make proper repairs. You know, one or the other.
Using lights and siren to jump to the front of the fast food drive-thru line is sketchy behaviour as a cop. But when you aren't and an off duty real cop sees you its a felony. Oh and he admitted to the arresting officer that he uses the lights and sirens to beat red lights as well.
The US patent office denied a trademark to a Norwegian company for the name Comfyballs for mens underwear. The name was deemed too vulgar to trademark. Maybe they could try Cradled Crotch or Non-Testy Testes.