No Sex Please, I’m Australian!

When Norrie May-Welby of Paisley in Scotland was growing up he didn't feel quite at home as a man, so when he moved to Australia 20 years ago he decided to undergo a sex-change and live as a woman. Now he's decided he doesn't much like being a woman either and has become the world's first officially recognised "neuter". Now neither a Mr, Mrs or Ms, May-Welby stopped taking the hormone supplements that were keeping him female and instead has convinced the Australian government to issue him a new set of documents that list his sex as "not specified" (Sify News).

God Made Me Do It

If this book is not pure catnip for us WU-vies, I'm not sure what is. Here's the product description from the link to the right:

Does God, in His infinite wisdom, convince people to get rid of their car insurance? Does He encourage cannibalism? Does the God of more than six billion people actually have time to root for the Minnesota Vikings?

According to some, yes. How do they know? God told them. Luckily, God also told Marc Hartzman to write this book, a collection of the most shocking, absurd, and hilarious things people have ever claimed God asked them to do, and to present them for your pure reading enjoyment.

Including:

* The man that God told to perform surgery on himself
* God's generous offer to miraculously fill his believer's gas tank
* The fateful day God (assumedly feeling nostalgic for his teen years) asked a man to TP a police station
* The woman God instructed to direct traffic—topless
* And, sadly, many more

Beyond Belief Extra – Fiat Novitas!

Next month will see the Global Atheist Convention in Melbourne in Australia, where several thousand of the faithful faithless will gather to hear the like of Dawkins, PZ Myers and AC Grayling hold forth on enlightenment, reason, truth and science. Oh and they may mention God and religion once or twice. But isn’t it a little weird for a bunch of atheists to start acting like a religion? Maybe a bit, according to the head of the Atheist Foundation of Australia, David Nicholls. “[Atheists] do not believe in shoving views down thoats. They mistrust group-think and are suspicious of institutions. […] Atheists are, by definition, not joiners.” Individualists or not, over 2500 will congregate this March to swap thoughts and ideas, as a group (Sydney Morning Herald).

And if you can have an atheist congregation, how long will it be before there’s an atheist preacher? Well this is exactly the situation the Dutch Protestant Church found themselves in recently after one of their number, Klass Hendrikse, published a book called Believing in a God who does not exist. Surprisingly, they have decided to do nothing, concluding that Hendrikse’s beliefs, which include that God is not a real being but just a word for people’s shared feelings, are not so different from many other liberal theologies (RNW).

Slightly less tolerance was shown to Mark Edward Tynan of the Christian faith group “Servants of Jesus” this week when the Australian health watchdog banned him from practising any form of mental health medicine. The Psychologists Tribunal sadly took a dim view of Tynan’s opinion that dissociative identity disorder was caused by demons, and that one child’s mental health problems were due to her parents having dedicated her life to Satan. His innovative treatment plans of prayer and exorcisms were also roundly disapproved of (Telegraph(AU)).

Someone else to lose their job over a wacky belief this week is Baroness Jenny Tonge, shadow health spokesperson for the UK’s Liberal Democrat Party. Her problems started when an American blogger called Stephen Lendman resurrected the old “organ harvesting” myth in an article that accused Israeli medical teams sent to Haiti of doing just that. The allegations appeared in the Palestine Telegraph ,of which Tonge is patron, but it was for her suggestion to the Jewish Chronicle that an inquiry should be held to “dispel any rumours” that she got into trouble. Unfortunately for her, Liberal Party leader Nick Clegg did not feel the Israeli doctors should have to prove themselves innocent of any and all nonsense flung their way, and promptly removed her from her post (Spiked).

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A Little Light Weirdness – 8

A would be bank-robber in Austria was foiled in his robbery attempt when the bank closed early for a staff training session. The man came equipped with a Barack Obama mask and gun but was stopped at the first hurdle when the locked door refused to open for him. Staff inside initially thought it was part of the training or a joke, and their laughter aggravated the criminal until he eventually fled empty-handed (Digital Spy).

More successful were the thieves that managed to steal several US landmarks, including the Palace of Fine Arts, USS Pampanito and Ghirardelli Square. Models of course, part of an exhibition of Mark and Jannet Benz’s Lego creations on display at the Palo Alto Museum of American Heritage, and worth several thousand dollars. A reward of $500 has been offered by the Benzes (SF Weekly).

But if Jan and Mark are thinking of upping their home security, they should perhaps avoid following the example of Alexander Skopintsew of Primorye in Russia, who decided to deter intruders by planting homemade landmines around his garden. He was inevitably found out when a trespasser was injured when setting off one of these devices, and charged with possession of illegal weapons, receiving a suspended sentence (ABC News).

Of course another alternative might be to have nothing worth stealing. Perhaps something similar occurred to retired lorry driver Ken Strickland, who amassed a collection of over 3000 watering cans, each meticulously documented. Sadly Mr. Strickland died last month aged 78, bequeathing the entire assortment to his niece, who is at a loss as to what to do with them and may in fact sell them on behalf of a charity. One watering can however will not be up for sale, it contains her uncle's ashes (Metro).

Meanwhile hundreds of other women up and down the UK might be feeling a little let down this Monday, after British department store Debenhams recorded a 76% surge in sales of their range of “anatomy boosting” underwear for men ahead of Valentine’s day. Turn around is fair play, I say (Reuters).

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Smart Bacon

Witness the blasphemous abomination that is--VEGAN BACON!!!

Another Helping of Food Related Weirdness – 6 (and a bit)

If your love-life needs a lift, pork is as effective as Viagra, or so said Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez Kirchner last week at a press meeting to announce cheaper pork prices. In a surprise boon to local political comedy writers, President Kirchner claimed to know from personal experience that “pork consumption improves sexual activity,” before adding “I’m a pork fanatic.” Her comments were unsurprisingly echoed by Juan Uccelli, who heads up the Argentinean association of pork producers, who claimed Denmark and Japan’s “more harmonious sexual lives” were down to their high pork consumption. No word yet as to how tender Cristina likes her pork, but this surely brings a whole new layer of meaning to “baby’s got back!” (AFP).

Of course this is just another string for the bow of the world’s greatest all around superfood, bacon. And it’s not the only new talent to come to light, bacon also makes you smarter. At least it does if your mother ate it. Scientists from the University of North Carolina are claiming the micronutrient choline, which is abundant in pork products, is vital in helping foetal brain development (Telegraph).

Clearly then, the British are not eating enough bacon. Not only do they have to put up with a reputation for being lousy lovers but in a recent study for the UK’s National Farmers Union, 26% of under-16s polled said that bacon came from sheep, and 29% thought that oats grew on trees (Daily Mail).

So it is perhaps a small consolation that an English sparkling wine trounced traditional French champagnes to be crowned Champion of Worldwide Sparkling Wines in an annual competition held by Italian wine magazine Euposia. Nyetimber's Classic Cuvée 2003 beat off entries from Bollinger and Louis Roederer in a blind tasting, despite costing less than £30 per bottle (Telegraph).

Also sure to win awards is the newest attraction in Beijing, China. The “World Chocolate Wonderland” is a 20000 square metre theme park devoted to the food and boasts life-size replicas of terracotta warriors, a BMW and a basketball player caught mid-leap, all made of chocolate. The centrepiece must be an array of chocolate fountains that endlessly propel 1.5 tonnes of melted chocolate in all directions. The park is open to April, but plans to reopen next January with all new exhibits (Movie Channel).

Perhaps they’d like to bid for the chocolate and sweet reproduction of a statue of Lenin currently on display in Bucharest, Romania? The statue, which stands on the plinth that once held the real thing, is to be auctioned off to raise money for a museum of statuary from the country’s Nazi and Communist past, with “pride” of place going to a 62 foot granite bust of Lenin (Daily Express).

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Al Kaprielian

Goodbye, Al Kaprielian.

Turkey Feather Wedding Dress

In 1947, a gal named Barbara Ehrhart chose to create her wedding dress out of turkey feathers.















The guests tossed more feathers instead of rice.

More pix here, courtesy of LIFE.

The Stuffed Owl

I'm reading a Mark Twain book currently, Following the Equator. In it, he mentions a notoriously bad poet, Julia Moore, a name I had not thought of in ages. Moore's fabled lack of talent produced scads of bad poetry. You can read about her career here.

Google has digitized at least one of her books, which you can read here. Be prepared to encounter such excruciating verse as this sample to the right.




Moore is included in The Stuffed Owl, a volume of the world's worst poetry. Wouldn't that make a swell Xmas gift for the literary type in your life?

Weird Divorce

It’s been a weird week for divorcees, starting with an Indian couple from Pune near Mumbai. After years of arguments over the wife’s penchant for Hindi soap operas, the husband finally barred her from watching them any more. She promptly filed for a divorce, which was granted on the grounds of his “cruel treatment” of her (World News AU).

Next is the case of the divorce granted to the Chinese couple who had not seen each other since their wedding, three years previously. The ceremony took place in China’s Machong district and was the result of an arranged marriage by the parents of the couple, called Ma and Mo, who were good friends. But Ma, the groom, left for a job elsewhere straight after and the newlyweds did not even try to stay in touch. With no children or property to argue over, the divorce went fairly uneventfully (China Daily).

Staying in China for a moment, Shoutsee Li and Han Fucheng of that country’s Mentougou district are hoping a judge will annul their marriage so they can marry again, this time legally. The couple originally married in 2006 after meeting nine years earlier, but Li was in China under false papers and now faces deportation. But while the police don’t recognise Han and Li’s marriage, the registrar does, and will not let them remarry until their current marriage is dissolved (People’s Daily).

Not so likely to remarry are recently separated couple Robin Williams and Anthony Hull of Kingsfold in England. Attempts to reach an agreement on how to divide their £500,000 ($850k) house have stalled amid arguments over who keeps the cheese grater and whether paint pots are communal property. The couple have now taken their grievances to Britain’s High Court (Daily Express).

Also in court this week was Stanley G. Hilton of Hillsborough, CA who is suing San Francisco, its airport, every airline that uses it, and the manufacturers of the airplanes landing there for $15 million each for ruining his marriage. All in all Hilton, a former attorney (now disbarred), cites 37 parties as contributing to the breakdown of relations with his wife, which amounts to a cool $555 million in the unlikely event that he wins (Wired).

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