Category:
Babies

Mother Heart

Japan's "crazy inventor" Hiroshi Majima invented this odd device:

It is like a mother's real breast. A baby grabs hold of the facsimile, its nipple in its mouth, its cheek against a simulated heart that beats 70 times regularly every 60 seconds.

The tot apparently feels secure and reassured, stops yelling and drifts off to sleep without another whimper.

Bed-wetting is also greatly reduced, inventor Majima finds.

"Mother Heart" now sells abroad, not just on Japan's domestic market alone. Ready-made markets, Majima says, have been found in the Mediterranean countries, like France, Italy, and Spain, where mothers are especially close to their infants, and vice versa.



Allentown Morning Call - Sep 16, 1965



We previously featured another one of Majima's strange inventions on WU: the Cat Mew Machine.

Posted By: Alex - Wed Jul 29, 2020 - Comments (0)
Category: Babies, Inventions, 1960s

Coffin Cradle


From the Strand Magazine - Vol 8, 1894:

Here we have an article which brings both extremes of existence together—the symbol of death is used to rest the babe who has just begun life—birth and death are mentally associated upon contemplating this peculiar outcome of man's mind. Whether intended to impress the growing child with the nearness of death, and to demand a due reverence for the future state of man, or whether merely the result of a morbid desire to connect the mind continually with the undertaker, I cannot venture to say; although it must be admitted that the cross fixed at the head of this curious cradle substantiates the supposition that a religious idea prompted its construction. The bells, which tinkle upon occasions when the cradle is being rocked, seem to point to the wish on the parents' part to comfort the little darling of humanity destined to occupy this coffin-cradle.

Posted By: Alex - Tue May 12, 2020 - Comments (2)
Category: Babies, Death, Furniture

The screaming baby in the classroom prank

I don't think this would go over well nowadays. From the Iowa City Press-Citizen - May 12, 1975:

As a pediatrician [Dr. Charles Johnson of the Iowa Medical School faculty] gives a lecture on child development. It’s scheduled for 1 p.m. The students are sleepy, not only because the subject doesn’t send them but because they’ve just finished lunch.

To liven them up Johnson does this:

“I start the lecture by playing a stereo recording from Sesame Street, which awakens about a third of the audience. I briefly outline the two-hour lecture and then, on cue, in comes the first patient... a newborn in a wheeled isolette pushed by a nurse.

“For the pediatrician,” I announce, “this is where it all begins.”

The baby then starts to scream. As it gets louder and louder Johnson becomes more and more annoyed.

At first he rocks the isolette gently, then with more vigor. Finally, in a fit of anger he flings open the glass top, seizes the infant, and throws it out into the audience.

Pandemonium!

“When the hysteria dies down I state: ‘Infants are helpless parasites. They can be and are battered.’

“Most of my other pearls are soon forgotten, but rarely does the student forget the ‘helpless parasite’ flying into the audience. All that’s needed is a straight-faced nurse, a good tape recording of an infant yelling — and a life-size doll.

Posted By: Alex - Sat Mar 07, 2020 - Comments (4)
Category: Babies, 1970s, Universities, Colleges, Private Schools and Academia, Pranks

Diapers with pistol holsters

Patented by Harriet Y. Clough of Meadville, Pennsylvania in 1958.

Posted By: Alex - Sun Jan 26, 2020 - Comments (0)
Category: Babies, Guns, Inventions, Patents

Dirty diapers as art

Artist Mary Kelly’s 1976 exhibit at the Insitute of Contemporary Art in London consisted of a framed series of soiled liners from her kid’s diapers. Below the fecal stains, she listed what her kid had eaten in order to produce the marks.

The exhibit provoked outrage. Siona Wilson, in her book Art Labor, Sex Politics: Feminist Effects in 1970s British Art and Performance, notes, "Kelly was forced to go into hiding for a time to avoid the unwanted media attention."

More info: vice.com, MaryKellyArtist.com



The Twin Falls Times-News - Oct 17, 1976

Posted By: Alex - Mon Nov 11, 2019 - Comments (0)
Category: Art, Babies, 1970s

Branding Babies

The 1930s-era solution to the problem of babies getting mixed up in hospitals was to temporarily brand newborns with a UV-ray lamp. The procedure was said to be painless, though it was terrible PR to describe it as 'branding'.

Pittsburgh Press - Sep 25, 1938



Minneapolis Star Tribune - Sep 14, 1930

Posted By: Alex - Sun Oct 27, 2019 - Comments (2)
Category: Babies, 1930s

Glass Box Baby

Sara Franklin's 15 minutes of fame came from being the first baby raised in a glass box. Or in an Air crib, as the device, invented by psychologist B.F. Skinner, was called. More info from wikipedia:

The air crib is an easily cleaned, temperature- and humidity-controlled enclosure intended to replace the standard infant crib. Skinner invented the device to help his wife cope with the day-to-day tasks of child rearing. It was designed to make early childcare simpler (by reducing laundry, diaper rash, cradle cap, etc.), while allowing the baby to be more mobile and comfortable, and less prone to cry. Reportedly it had some success in these goals.

The air crib was a controversial invention. It was popularly mischaracterized as a cruel pen, and it was often compared to Skinner's operant conditioning chamber, commonly called the "Skinner Box". This association with laboratory animal experimentation discouraged its commercial success, though several companies attempted production.

Sydney Morning Herald - July 5, 1964



Indianapolis Star - Jan 12, 1966

Posted By: Alex - Tue Oct 22, 2019 - Comments (3)
Category: Babies, 1960s

Follies of the Madmen #439



No cereal that has touched dirty baby butt is going in my dish!

Source.

Posted By: Paul - Tue Aug 13, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Babies, Business, Advertising, Food, Hygiene, 1900s

Baby Naming Service

For nominatively challenged parents, a new company offers help. Future Perfect charges $350 for a personalized list of 10 possible first and middle names for a newborn. For $225, you'll get a list of first names only, while for $100 they'll provide “a namestorming session like no other.” And for a mere $75, they’ll also help you name your pet.

Add this to my list of things I'd be willing to do for less money.

Posted By: Alex - Fri Jun 21, 2019 - Comments (4)
Category: Babies, Business

Meats for Babies

Back in the late 1940s and early 50s, Swift's urged mothers to start feeding their babies canned, processed meat at 6 weeks because "Results of actual test feedings with six-weeks-old infants show meat gives baby a better start in life!”

I'm no expert, but six weeks seems awful early to start feeding your kid meat, even if it has been pureed into meat mush. Aren't most kids still on breast milk or formula at six weeks?



Boston Globe - Apr 4, 1948

Posted By: Alex - Wed Dec 05, 2018 - Comments (2)
Category: Babies, Food, 1950s

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Alex Boese
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes.

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