What image could possibly be great enough for our milestone fiftieth installment? Only this one!
At one time, during either the seventies or the eighties, I believe, this campaign was ubiquitous. I would run across OJ and his boots in every issue of Playboy I intended to cut up for collages, whereupon I would promptly rip out the page intact and mail it to a friend. That's why I had to find a scan on eBay, for this post, and can't tell you the exact provenance of the advertisement.
Of course, today we laugh because of OJ's appearance. "So that's how he was able to escape so fast after the murders! He deployed his third leg!"
But consider the campaign even without OJ.
First you get the off-color allusion to "third leg = penis." Then you get the Addams-Family-style associations of "Our boots are worn by mutants and freaks."
If you wear one of our sweaters, you'll look like a ridiculous chimp.
"Me Retailer, you Jerk!"
ADDENDUM: Reader Vern notes that the text ridicules the chimp as wearing an older, out-of-style sweater, while the man sports the manufacturer's sleek new model. That's a good point. Nonetheless, how convincing is the comparison, when the human's rival is a monkey?
Ian's Shoelace Site promises that it brings you "the fun, fashion & science of shoelaces". Wondering why your laces keep coming untied? Or maybe you're looking for some new ways to tie your shoes? Ian's is the place for you. There's even a frequently updated page of shoelaces in the news (example: "a hapless burglar was left hanging upside down against a window after trapping a shoe lace during a break-in"), as well as a Shoelace Urban Myth Warning:
It is widely mis-reported that shoelaces were invented by Harvey Kennedy on 27th March 1790. This date is centuries after shoelaces were in common use and is clearly NOT correct.
The latest weird Japanese fad: hime gyaru, or princess girls. They're grown women (in their 20s and 30s) who spend lots of money trying to look like fairytale princesses. They speak in soft chirpy voices, apply mascara on top of fake eyelashes, strive for "supervolume hair," and decorate their bedrooms with rococo furniture. One 36-year-old princess-girl housewife estimates she spends between $2000 to $3000 a month on dresses, which doesn't leave a lot of money for groceries. Luckily her parents help support her princess habit by sending food to her and her husband. Link: Wall Street Journal.
Either a 20th-century man's shoe has been transported through time back to pre-Columbian America, confounding the primitive redksins, or else some 20th-century Native Americans on some especially traditional and cloistered reservation somewhere are incredibly ignorant.
Or, some Madison Avenue genius thought this was brilliant.
How much would you pay for this t-shirt? Before answering, consider that it shows the Nintendo character Mario with an ape on his head. Surely that's worth something.
Also, consider that it's produced by the trendy Japanese clothing company A Bathing Ape (aka Bape), founded by designer Tomoaki "Nigo" Nagao. Some info about him from Wikipedia:
After studying fashion editing at college, he worked as an editor and a stylist for Popeye magazine. After borrowing four million yen from an acquaintance, who also let him use his shop, he opened "Nowhere", his first store, on April 1, 1993 in Harajuku, Tokyo. Deciding to start his own brand, he named it after the 1968 film Planet of the Apes. According to Nigo, the name "A Bathing Ape" is short for a Japanese saying "bathing in lukewarm water". Japanese people typically have daily baths in water at temperatures above 40 degrees celsius (104°F). As such, bathing in luke warm water is to complacently over indulge. This is, ironically, a reference to the lazy oppulence of the younger generation of Japanese, the brand's own customers.
So how much would you be willing to pay for it? Unless your answer is $175 or more, you're not going to have it. Anyway, they're already sold out.
Books Selected and endorsed for Pure Weirdness by Your WU Team
Who We Are
Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction books such as Elephants on Acid.
Paul Di Filippo
Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over thirty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. He has recently begun blogging on many curious topics with three fellow writers at The Inferior 4+1.
Our banner was drawn by the legendary underground cartoonist Rick Altergott.