The Holy Foreskin
The Bible tells us that Jesus was circumcised eight days after his birth. But this became the source of a protracted debate among medieval scholars who couldn't figure out what became of the foreskin. Did it remain here on Earth? Was it reunited with Christ and ascended with him into Heaven? Or did it ascend into heaven separately, on its own?The belief that the "holy prepuce" remained on Earth was probably the most popular position. In fact, no less than 21 medieval churches and abbeys claimed to be in possession of the holy foreskin.
St. Catherine of Siena reportedly wore the foreskin of Jesus as a ring on her finger.
However, the Austrian nun Agnes Blannbekin (1244-1315) took a different view. She became obsessed by the holy foreskin, dwelling on the loss of blood and pain Christ must have suffered during his circumcision. Such thoughts led her to a revelation. While celebrating the Feast of the Circumcision (traditionally held on January 1), Agnes suddenly "felt the Lord's foreskin on her tongue, thin as the membrane of an egg, and swallowed it with great sweetness 'about a hundred times'. Christ then revealed to her that his foreskin had been resurrected with him on Easter." Because of this revelation, Blannbekin's writings were banned by the church.
However, my favorite theory about the fate of the holy foreskin is the one put forward by the 17th century theologian Leo Allatius. In an essay, De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba, he speculated "that the holy foreskin may have ascended into heaven at the same time as Jesus himself, and might have become the rings of Saturn."
Source of info: Mattelaer, JJ, et al. (2007). "The Circumcision of Jesus Christ". The Journal of Urology. 178: 31-34.
Comments
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
it honestly never occured to me to wonder about jesus' foreskin.
i'm amazed there has been a debate about it. i can't wait till maxx reads this one!
i'm amazed there has been a debate about it. i can't wait till maxx reads this one!
Posted by patty on 01/30 at 05:50 AM
Holy change purses!!
This is what happens when your religion is this old. You find the most stupid shit to argue over. None of it matters.
The whole ritual is pretty sick. The baby gets sucked after getting cut up.
http://www.come-and-hear.com/editor/br-smc/index.html
This is what happens when your religion is this old. You find the most stupid shit to argue over. None of it matters.
The whole ritual is pretty sick. The baby gets sucked after getting cut up.
http://www.come-and-hear.com/editor/br-smc/index.html
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 06:04 AM
BTW - Shouldn't this have been stored at the Vatican next to the Holy Hand Grenade?
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 06:12 AM
"no less than 21 medieval churches and abbeys claimed to be in possession of the holy foreskin"
It's a miracle!
It's a miracle!
Posted by Dumbfounded on 01/30 at 06:30 AM
Either that or Jesus was hung like a horse, so they just cut it up into tiny pieces and shared it.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 06:32 AM
If Jesus' foreskin remained on Earth, what about his baby teeth? What about his hair, toenail clippings, etc?
What about his placenta? It's part of the fetal form of Jesus, so presumably also divine, and so contains stem-cells from the Son of God himself?
We could clone Jesus, hell we could clone a couple of thousand Jesuses and have one in every hospital ward, and in every cafeteria. All the world's problems solved at a stroke.
Perhaps some real effort should be put into finding this holy relic?
What about his placenta? It's part of the fetal form of Jesus, so presumably also divine, and so contains stem-cells from the Son of God himself?
We could clone Jesus, hell we could clone a couple of thousand Jesuses and have one in every hospital ward, and in every cafeteria. All the world's problems solved at a stroke.
Perhaps some real effort should be put into finding this holy relic?
Posted by Dumbfounded on 01/30 at 06:38 AM
Some churches have even claimed to have breast milk from Mary. Now that would really make your cereal pop!
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 06:42 AM
"This is what happens when your religion is this old." - Maxx
So is the solution to this problem new religion?
So is the solution to this problem new religion?
Posted by Vern in KY on 01/30 at 06:49 AM
Vern - I meant that it's so old that they have discussed everything that needs to be discussed and now they're discussing Jesus penis. Yeah, that's important! 
My solution = end all religion!!!
My solution = end all religion!!!
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 06:54 AM
"St. Catherine of Siena reportedly wore the foreskin of Jesus as a ring on her finger."
WHAT????
I take back what I said about the Caylee Sunshine Doll. It isn't as sick as this.
WHAT????
I take back what I said about the Caylee Sunshine Doll. It isn't as sick as this.
Posted by Big Gary in Santa Gertrudis, Texas on 01/30 at 07:02 AM
Maybe the man that performed the circumcision kept it. It is normal to give a "tip" for such services. 
Posted by Matt in Florida on 01/30 at 07:08 AM
I can't tell you the address, but a friend of mine visited a church in Italy that had on display what were said to be diapers that had been worn by the baby Jesus (I hope and trust they had been washed sometime during the last two millennia).
Maxx, you would enjoy the book I just read, "Foreskin's Lament," by Shalom Auslander. It's mostly and anti-religious diatribe, but told very amusingly in the form of a memoir of Auslander's adventures with belief and unbelief. He claims that he was taught from infancy that God is a vicious psychopath who plays cruel games with people. His main focus is on Orthodox Judaism (his own religious background), but he doesn't let any other religions off, either. I'm not persuaded of the claim that all religion is harmful and dangerous, but he makes a pretty good case for it.
Maxx, you would enjoy the book I just read, "Foreskin's Lament," by Shalom Auslander. It's mostly and anti-religious diatribe, but told very amusingly in the form of a memoir of Auslander's adventures with belief and unbelief. He claims that he was taught from infancy that God is a vicious psychopath who plays cruel games with people. His main focus is on Orthodox Judaism (his own religious background), but he doesn't let any other religions off, either. I'm not persuaded of the claim that all religion is harmful and dangerous, but he makes a pretty good case for it.
Posted by Big Gary in Corpus Christi, Texas on 01/30 at 07:11 AM
Thanks, Big Gary. I will look for it for sure.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 07:22 AM
Actually, my paternal grandmother had the foreskin passed down to her from generations past and it has finally come to me. As I'm the last of my line I'll be putting it on Ebay any day now.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 01/30 at 07:40 AM
wonder what happened to mine?
Posted by mrjazz on 01/30 at 07:57 AM
I have never wondered what happened to mine.
Posted by Matt in Florida on 01/30 at 08:01 AM
Where did my husbands go? Where did my nephews go?
I bet they went to the same place Jesus' did....in the trash.
I bet they went to the same place Jesus' did....in the trash.
Posted by AGFH on 01/30 at 08:06 AM
No comments about the totally not-sexually-repressed nun, Agnes Blannbekin? You know, if you start obsessing about eating foreskins, maybe Nun isn't the career path for you.
So, what's the count up to? 21 foreskins in churches, 100 swallowed by a crazy nun, one as a ring for a woman with questionable taste in jewelry, minus one that went with him when he ascended. Any others?
So, what's the count up to? 21 foreskins in churches, 100 swallowed by a crazy nun, one as a ring for a woman with questionable taste in jewelry, minus one that went with him when he ascended. Any others?
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 01/30 at 11:16 AM
Anyone ever see Life of Brian?
Posted by BikerPuppy on 01/30 at 11:33 AM
I'm Brain...and so is my wife!
Posted by Madd Maxx on 01/30 at 11:36 AM
Category: Body, Genitals, Religion