Pantyhose Garment with Spare Leg

Patent No. 5,713,081, issued Feb 3, 1998:

A hosiery item including a panty member having three absorbent crotch members provided therein, each absorbent crotch member having a pocket formed therein; and three leg portions secured to the panty member in a manner such that an absorbent crotch member is positioned between any two leg portions, each leg portion having a leg insertion opening in connection with an interior of the panty member.

In use the wearer inserts her legs into two of the leg openings in the conventional fashion of donning a pair of pantyhose. The remaining unused leg portion is then gathered and the toe end tucked into the pocket of one of the absorbent crotch members. If a run or hole develops in one of the leg portions being worn, the leg of the wearer can be easily and rapidly removed from the damaged leg portion and placed into the undamaged spare leg portion. The damaged leg portion is then gathered, folded and tucked into a pocket of one of the absorbent crotch members as wearer to select and use any two of the three leg portions for use.

All Weird Universe readers, male and female, are expected to add this to their wardrobes.
     Posted By: Alex - Thu Feb 26, 2009
     Category: Fashion | Patents

Now that's the way to get a leg up on the competition.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/26/09 at 08:10 AM
A lady wearing this thing, with one leg tucked into a crotch, would look like a transvestite.

"Is that a bulge in your pants? Are you- are you really a guy?"

"No, no. It's just the third leg of my pantyhose, tucked between my legs."
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 02/26/09 at 08:20 AM
Apparently this "inventor" never considered the use of thigh-high's.

I'm dissapointed in you gentlemen, I had expected at least one "third leg" joke by now. 😉
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 02/26/09 at 08:20 AM
I'd hate to meet the woman who fills those out.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/26/09 at 08:26 AM
Maybe it's to absorb the foot sweat from the third, rolled up discarded leg.

I ask, why stop at 3? Why not 4...or 5? How about a skirt made up entirely of 100's of pantyhose legs? Get a run...just grab any other leg.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/26/09 at 09:15 AM
Can also double as a disguise for siamese triplet bank robbers.
@ Jules, the third leg joke just seemed too easy.
Posted by Matt in Florida on 02/26/09 at 09:29 AM
Jules, real men would be more interested int the 3 absorbent crotch areas than legs.

Anyhow, I vote we boycott this product as the ad person is a sexist pig! S/He writes inserts her legs. Why can we guys wear them too? Like KingMonkey pointed out we can roll up the unused leg to create a bit of eye-candy for you ladies.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/26/09 at 09:40 AM
Roland, you're saying that that's only a joke!?! Now, after all these years it's only a joke!?! Noooooooooooooo! :ahhh:
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/26/09 at 12:47 PM
LOL, that's funny! Now I've got to figure out how to work absorbent crotch member into a conversation.
Posted by Viceman48 on 02/26/09 at 01:31 PM
Posted by avmayes614 in the wt"F"-State on 02/26/09 at 03:08 PM
_this_ is the reason I come to WU every day. these comments. you people make me laugh like a loon. thank you.
Posted by Nethie on 02/26/09 at 06:12 PM
@ Beckers, do you (or anyone else) remember the first "Tales of the City", where Mona gets chastised for saying the word 'crotch' in her ad? Then she runs around yelling 'crotch, crotch, crotch, crotch, crotch!' and quits the ad agency.

There's your casual conversation comment.

Please tell me someone else remembers this.
Posted by Leshka on 02/26/09 at 06:44 PM
long johns for the well endowed man! and if i saw a guy that filled it out i'd need an absorbant crotch member! 😜
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/26/09 at 10:36 PM
Absorbent Crotch Members sounds like the name of a punk band. Maybe they'll open for The Circle Jerks!
Posted by DownCrisis on 03/01/09 at 12:36 PM
now that's not just funny, it's inspired! :lol:
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 03/01/09 at 12:55 PM
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