The Happy Hour of Aquarius
Are you having trouble getting drunk? Are your mixed drinks not having the proper effect, fast enough, or perhaps engendering too large a hangover? Does your choice of drink preclude picking up the partner you truly desire and deserve at your local bar?That's because you are not taking astrology into account! Your zodiacal sign is all-important in determining your proper beverage!
Or so we learn from this magazine pamphlet (source unknown, but probably Playboy of a certain vintage).
Read on, after the jump, and you'll learn what cocktail you should be imbibing!
I'm off to have a Stinger!
Comments
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Well, where ever it came from, it's certainly a Southern Comfort tie-in.
Posted by Cap'n Ahd on 08/19 at 08:10 AM
Cap'n Ahd--and what was Janis Joplin's sign and favorite mixed drink, I wonder?
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 08:37 AM
My ruling planet is Uranus. I never knew this. Explains a lot. Ok, back the drink I was born to drink.
Posted by Pablo in Jonestown on 08/19 at 08:53 AM
We Pisces drink like fish.
Posted by Phred22 on 08/19 at 09:07 AM
So, according to this I should no longer drink boxed wine?! 
Posted by DC on 08/19 at 09:14 AM
DC, you should probably make the switch to Boone's Farm. That's the good stuff.
Posted by Ryan on 08/19 at 09:45 AM
Pablo--birth is not destiny!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 09:50 AM
Phred22--oh, that's a bad 'un!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 09:50 AM
Boxed wine is in now, or so says the NY TIMES....
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 09:51 AM
Well, if the NY Times says so then I shall stock up on my boxed wine! And if that runs out...I keep plenty of Listerine. 
Posted by DC in Los Angeles, CA on 08/19 at 09:59 AM
Apparently Jose hadn't been born yet when this came out.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 08/19 at 10:41 AM
Screw this mixed drink crap! Where's the Jack Daniel's neat?
Posted by Fred on 08/19 at 11:33 AM
Fred--we're going to have to roust up a different advert for your tastes!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 11:52 AM
So, what exactly should a Taurus be drinking then? Besides Southern Comfort.
Posted by MadCarlotta on 08/19 at 12:05 PM
MadC--I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer that. You are going to have to consult a licensed astrological bartender!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 12:51 PM
This explains why I always feel the need to have an Old-Fashioned every morning. Thank God, I thought I was becoming an alcoholic.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 08/19 at 01:14 PM
I recognized the couple immediately. It was a pamphlet stuck in a travel bar my Mom has that holds three fifths and some glasses, stirrers, mixing spoons and the like. She never used it, and it still had original, bent cardboard inserts where the fifths would go. One is a Southern Comfort stand-in, and a couple of others. What an unexpected flashback to one of my first exposures to mixology!
Posted by Jackson in Indiana on 08/19 at 09:26 PM
Paul, I'm glad you said that birth is not destiny, because if I had to drink Southern Comfort and 7-Up for the rest of my life I would just have to pack it in right now! Ewwww I'll stick with my bourbon, cheers!
Posted by Huw Bowen in England on 08/20 at 02:39 AM
Hmmm . . . I notice that they don't advise what a Capricorn should drink. Back to gin and mead, then.
Posted by Hana on 08/20 at 06:49 AM
Kingmonkey--you're just obeying the stars!
Posted by Paul on 08/20 at 08:12 AM
Category: Inebriation and Intoxicants, Magazines, New Age, Sexuality, Advertising