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The Happy Hour of Aquarius

Are you having trouble getting drunk? Are your mixed drinks not having the proper effect, fast enough, or perhaps engendering too large a hangover? Does your choice of drink preclude picking up the partner you truly desire and deserve at your local bar?

That's because you are not taking astrology into account! Your zodiacal sign is all-important in determining your proper beverage!

Or so we learn from this magazine pamphlet (source unknown, but probably Playboy of a certain vintage).

Read on, after the jump, and you'll learn what cocktail you should be imbibing!

I'm off to have a Stinger!

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Posted By: Paul | Date: Tue Aug 19, 2008 | Number of Comments: 17
Category: Inebriation and Intoxicants, Magazines, New Age, Sexuality, Advertising
Comments
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Cap'n Ahd--and what was Janis Joplin's sign and favorite mixed drink, I wonder?
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 08:37 AM
Pablo--birth is not destiny!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 09:50 AM
Phred22--oh, that's a bad 'un!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 09:50 AM
Boxed wine is in now, or so says the NY TIMES....
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 09:51 AM
Apparently Jose hadn't been born yet when this came out.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 08/19 at 10:41 AM
Fred--we're going to have to roust up a different advert for your tastes!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 11:52 AM
So, what exactly should a Taurus be drinking then? Besides Southern Comfort.
Posted by MadCarlotta on 08/19 at 12:05 PM
MadC--I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer that. You are going to have to consult a licensed astrological bartender!
Posted by Paul on 08/19 at 12:51 PM
This explains why I always feel the need to have an Old-Fashioned every morning. Thank God, I thought I was becoming an alcoholic.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 08/19 at 01:14 PM
Kingmonkey--you're just obeying the stars!
Posted by Paul on 08/20 at 08:12 AM
Jackson--glad to provide some instant nostalgia!
Posted by Paul on 08/20 at 08:12 AM
Huw--you're a man of fine tastes!
Posted by Paul on 08/20 at 08:13 AM
Hana--surely those two substances don't get mixed together?!?
Posted by Paul on 08/20 at 08:13 AM
You know, maybe if the daily/weekly horoscopes listed what drink you should favour, I'd actually take them into account.

Scorpio: A sudden love interest will offer you an exciting new career which will lead to romance on the 12th, indigestion on the 14th. Avoid sugary drinks-- stick to scotch until the 18th, when it won't really matter anymore.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 08/20 at 01:18 PM
Kingmonkey--I think you have a salable idea for newspaper syndication!
Posted by Paul on 08/21 at 08:08 AM
Katie--maybe this was Danson's first gig!
Posted by Paul on 08/21 at 08:09 AM
Elena--with the vast range of human body chemistires, it only makes sense we'd all metabolize alcohol and its ancillary ingredients differently!
Posted by Paul on 08/21 at 08:10 AM
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