Chuck’s Weekly Cite-Seeing (February 13, 2012)

Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday

Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
February 13, 2012
(datelines from February 3 or later) (links correct as of February 13)

Houston, Tex.: Ms. Donnicia Venters can't sue for being fired for suggesting she needed a room at work for breast-feeding. Federal EEO law protects "pregnancy" things, and Judge (Mr.) Lynn Hughes ruled that "pregnancy" ends when the kid drops. Houston Press

Brooklyn, N.Y.: Fausat Ogunbayo, 46, sued in federal court to get her kids back from child welfare . . and besides that, wants, umm, $900,000,000,000 in walking-around money). Staten Island Advance

San Diego, Calif.: PETA got a formal hearing (more than it usually gets in cases like this) but was ultimately rebuffed by a federal judge on its argument that Amendment XIII (abolishing slavery) protects SeaWorld whales. Associated Press via CBS News

New Castle, Ind.: Another recent denture-only theft. No, not the same as that other guy. And not that third one, either. The Star Press (Muncie, Ind.) /// Observer-Reporter (Washington, Pa.) /// Associated Press via WPVI-TV (Philadelphia)

Ellisville, Miss.: Harold Hadley Jr., 19, was charged with a bomb threat at Jones County (Miss.) Junior College. Friends and family point out that Hadley is a notorious wind-breaker and that when he wrote that he "passed a bomb" in the library, it was methane and not sarin. WDAM-TV (Hattiesburg) via WLOX-TV (Biloxi)

Washington, D.C.: U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex), defending the Alaskan oil pipeline at a hearing, pointed out a little-realized benefit: rescuing caribou from impending extinction. The pipeline, he said, radiates warmth. "So when they want to go on a date [ed. that's Republican for "hit it"], they invite each other to head over to the pipeline." Washington Post

Butte, Mont.: John Hughes, 55, pleaded guilty to reckless driving and paid a fine. He had led police on a 100-mph-plus chase because, he said when stopped, "I just always wanted to do that." Montana Standard (Butte)

Bridgeport, Conn.: Norberto Millet, 60, was charged with rape of an underage girl. Oh, no, he said. She attacked him, and he desperately tried to fight her off. In fact, he said, lots of 8- to 10-yr-old girls mess with him. Connecticut Post [bonus explanatory mugshot]

Port St. Lucie, Fla.: Bad, Bad Boys: (1) He was charged with stealing $40k from the trust fund of his cerebral-palsied daughter. (2) These four (three men, one gal) were charged with intra-family credit-card theft from a blind couple in their 80s. (3) A Lakewood, Wash., cop was charged with embezzling $120k from a fund collected for four cops killed on the job. (Bonus: The defendant is Officer Skeeter Manos.) WPTV (West Palm Beach) /// Daily Gazette (Schenectady, N.Y.) /// Associated Press via WHBF (Quad Cities, Ill.)

Washington, D.C.: So far, 130 employees have been rounded up for ripping off the city government on unemployment compensation (continuing to draw checks after finding work). [ed.: This is unsettling. For years one of the Sure Things in American Life was that "the D.C. government" was oblivious of all internal fraud. Coming on the heels of Arab Spring and impending European defaults, this is change too abrupt to bear.] Washington Post

Your Weekly Jury Duty [In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:

Cambridge, Ohio: You decide--Is Jamial Bayly, 40, a conscientious family disciplinarian or guilty of domestic violence? WTTG-TV (Washington, D.C.)

From the latest Smoking Gun collections: (1) He was charged with public intoxication, but intoxication appears to have played no role in any of the several things wrong with his face. (2) There's a warrant out on him, perhaps as "hairstyle" violation. (3) He was charged with failing to pay court fines . . like they expected this guy was going to pay?

Thanks to David Henshaw and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.

     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Feb 13, 2012

Houston, Tex. And I was about to give up finding a judge with enough sense to pour piss out of a boot without reading the direction on the heel.

Brooklyn, N.Y. We'll have to wait to see who wins in Nov. before we can respond to her request. In the mean time, can we get her to open a factory for Green Energy?

San Diego, Calif. Now, this is truly a rarity: A Mexifornia judge off his meds long enough to act like he's got a brain in his head.

Denture Thief Karma would have this crime come back and bite him in the a$$.

Pipeline As if jobs, less dependency on foreign oil, and lower prices at the pump shouldn't be enough.

John Hughes The American Spirit is alive and well in Montana!

Norberto Millet Looks like John Noble's doppelganger from the other side.

Washington D.C. Restore you faith, Chuck, the obvious cause of this is that somebody didn't get their kick-back in time.

Jury Duty 1) Aren't kids always asking to be spun around? 2) Booze wasn't involved??? No way! 3) Smokin' hot dude! 4) Seriously, some judge laid a fine on this dude? Really?

Good week, Chuck.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/13/12 at 09:41 AM
Thanks Chuck! for yet another Great week!! LOL
Posted by Tyrusguy on 02/13/12 at 12:25 PM
Jury duty comments are about 2, 3 and 4. oops.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 02/13/12 at 12:37 PM
Chuck, you left off some zeroes in the case of the woman suing to get her kids back. $900 trillion is $900,000,000,000,000.
Posted by ges on 02/13/12 at 01:03 PM
Oh, well, that makes all the difference in the world! wink
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/13/12 at 02:02 PM
Jury Duty #2: Didn't he used to be Sly Stone?
Posted by Daddy A on 02/13/12 at 03:38 PM
That's right, GES, Chuck would have had her scraping by on $900 billion. I wonder if a lawyer would take that on a contingency basis.
Posted by Harvey on 02/13/12 at 11:31 PM
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