Cow-Costumed Woman Chases Children
We here at Weird Universe have been warning our readers for quite some time about the danger posed by cows who attack. (See here, here, and here.) It has now become apparent that this threat extends to women dressed up as cows.Evidence: Michelle Allen of Middletown, Ohio was taken into custody for disorderly conduct that included chasing children, urinating on a neighbor's front porch, and causing traffic problems -- all while wearing a cow costume.
In case you have any desire to imitate Michelle this Halloween -- and I suspect many people will be doing so -- it looks like Amazon has a similar cow costume in stock.
(Thanks to everyone who forwarded us this story!)
Comments
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
Listed in chronological order. Newest comments at the end.
The poor woman is most definitely deranged and deserves our sympathy more than our condemnation.
Na!!!! Guilty! Throw away the keys!
Na!!!! Guilty! Throw away the keys!
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 09/30 at 10:10 PM
My oreos will have to stay dry, I'll never drink milk again.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 10/01 at 04:26 AM
Sorry but the very first thing that came to mind was several lines about Mad Cows...
Posted by Neil on 10/01 at 04:56 AM
Let me just say I think it's an udder disaster that Weird Universe has milked this poor woman's misfortune so completely. In the future, could you steer clear of such stories? I hope my voice has been herd.
Posted by Kenneth in Wisconsin on 10/01 at 05:06 AM
That's a woman?!?
Posted by Jules in Connecticut on 10/01 at 05:08 AM
Kenneth - Your comments have 'moo'ved me. I'll steak my rep on there not being too many more puns about this cow.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 10/01 at 05:42 AM
Veal-ly guys, please stop these cowardly bad puns.
Posted by Alex on 10/01 at 06:25 AM
Kenneth, -1 point for the "steer" pun.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/01 at 06:57 AM
What is this country coming to when you can’t put on a cow suit and chase the neighborhood children without being arrested? When I was their age we got chased by real cows with real horns, and bulls too, and the exercise did us good! If a woman in a cow suit had chased us we would have laughed!
I don’t know about urinating on the neighbor’s porch, but maybe she had a good reason for that! Maybe the neighbor’s cow urinated on her porch and she was only retaliating. Don’t we have a friggin’ right to defend our porches???
Did they ask her why she urinated on the neighbor’s porch? Did they ask her why she chased the children? Did they ask her why she was wearing the cow suit? It doesn’t seem so – seems they just arrested her – called it “disorderly conduct” of all things! Boy, I wish I had a cow suit! I’d show them disorderly conduct – I’d show them disorderly conduct till they’re sick of it! Damn fascists are takin’ over the country, you got no right to do anything any more….
I don’t know about urinating on the neighbor’s porch, but maybe she had a good reason for that! Maybe the neighbor’s cow urinated on her porch and she was only retaliating. Don’t we have a friggin’ right to defend our porches???
Did they ask her why she urinated on the neighbor’s porch? Did they ask her why she chased the children? Did they ask her why she was wearing the cow suit? It doesn’t seem so – seems they just arrested her – called it “disorderly conduct” of all things! Boy, I wish I had a cow suit! I’d show them disorderly conduct – I’d show them disorderly conduct till they’re sick of it! Damn fascists are takin’ over the country, you got no right to do anything any more….
Posted by Cougar Allen in Peanut Gallery on 10/01 at 08:21 AM
All these comments are a bunch of bull.
Posted by kay in maine on 10/01 at 09:46 AM
How come life imitates art?
The Red Meat cartoon world had exactly the same situation when Milkman Dan got the job of playing McMoo the Anti-Drug Cow . . . Only it was hot coffee in his udder...
The Red Meat cartoon world had exactly the same situation when Milkman Dan got the job of playing McMoo the Anti-Drug Cow . . . Only it was hot coffee in his udder...
Posted by D F Stuckey in Auckland New Zealand on 10/05 at 02:07 AM
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Category: Animals, Crime