A Slow News Day (But It Does Include a Woman Who Can’t Stop Belching)

News of the Weird Daily
Thursday, March 5, 2009

Things to Worry About

Recurring Theme: Bad things happen when you pull over to the side of the road to take a leak, and that goes double for a tugboat captain who loses his balance tinkling over the side. Vancouver Sun

A 72-yr-old British woman has taken "uncontrollable hiccuping" to the next level: uncontrollable belching ("One man said, 'Can't you control that noise?'"). Daily Mail

Police in Massachusetts said it was a drug mob hit for control of the family business: the 16-yr-old capo whacked by lieutenants including his 13-yr-old half-brother. Associated Press via TBO.com

A 57-yr-old woman was arrested for shoplifting in Longview, Wash., but her business plan was questionable: She "made" about $25 an hour for the 12 hours she spent inside the store rearranging the packaging on small items like batteries. Associated Press via Yahoo

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Your Daily Loser
Not Ready for Prime Time: Shawn Lester, 33, Charleston, W.Va., said he had a gun and demanded the convenience store's money, and grabbed a soft drink to wet his whistle, but then another customer came in, and Shawn got all flustered, and thought he should actually try to pay for the soft drink, which he did with his own debit card. Associated Press via Yahoo
Comments 'shawn_lester'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Actor Denis Leary was busted—no, wait, that's Julianne Johnson, 44, who was accused of using illegal means to pay for her brand-new gazongas. Bradenton Herald
Comments 'julianne_johnson'

Today's Newsrangers: Joe Church, Paul Pruitt

     Posted By: Chuck - Thu Mar 05, 2009
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