Alcohol Was Involved, Plus Deep-Fried Pizza

News of the Weird Daily
Thursday, February 26, 2009

News of the Weird's life-giving protoplasm
(That would be alcohol, of course.) (1) A Washington State Patrolman noticed Joseph Takesgun, 31, driving ever-so-slowly one afternoon and followed him warily, until finally Takesgun crept into a driveway and then into the garage. "I live here," Takesgun explained to the trooper, Trevor Downey. Actually, Takesgun had inadvertently pulled into Downey's own garage. (2) Eric Ambrose, 31, was arrested in the middle of the night in Fort Pierce, Fla., having removed much snack inventory from a convenience store, including three bags of M&Ms. He was quite boisterous when the cops cuffed him and screamed out from the cruiser (according to a police affidavit) "that he had served in the military over in Iraq so he could steal all the M&M's he wanted." He also said he had come to Florida for the crack cocaine, since all that was available elsewhere was methamphetamine, which didn't suit him as well. Tri-City Herald (Kennewick, Wash.) /// (Stuart, Fla.) [mug!]
Comments 'alcohol_newsoftheweird'

More Things to Worry About

Worth a trip to Wilson, Pa. (on the Jersey border), to the Pizza Snobz joint: a deep-fried slice! Morning Call (Allentown) [with video!]

Entry-level copy editor on duty at the Associated Press: "Cop Makes Arrest in Bathroom After Smelling Crack" Associated Press via Google News /// Star Tribune [almost as good]

Jim Moffett, 58, saved two elderly ladies by pushing them out of the way of traffic in Denver and taking the hit himself (resulting in bleeding in the brain, broken bones, dislocated shoulder, possibly ruptured spleen), and his only reward so far: a jaywalking ticket. Associated Press via Yahoo

Collateral damage during a high-speed F State police chase: An 86-yr-old motorist died as a cop pursued a guy for having illegal window tint. (Seriously) Florida Times-Union

FDA doing a FEMA-like job regulating drug devices: In a North Carolina plant making syringes that occasionally contained "specks," "sediment," and "food particles," the "chief microbiologist" was a teenager who dropped out of high school. News & Observer (Raleigh)

It was a cold night on Cape Cod so he built a cozy fire to keep warm while he was on a phone call (but he was in his car at the time). Cape Cod Times

Comments on Things to Worry About?
Comments 'worry_090226'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Yet another guy who felt the need to get out of those boxers and into some nice Victoria's Secret: Ronald Rozycki, 54, broke into a Kohl's department store in Joplin, Mo., overnight, and by the time employees started reporting to work, Ronald looked fabulous! Joplin Globe
Comments 'ronald_rozycki'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
It couldn't be that Lori Smith of Brooksville, Fla., would be guilty of domestic battery because, c'mon, men need hugs! WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg)
Comments 'lori_smith'

Today's Newsrangers: Bruce Alter, Peter Hine, Les Greenwood, Scott Langill

     Posted By: Chuck - Thu Feb 26, 2009

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