Chuck’s Cite-Seeing (May 21, 2012)

News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012

Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 21, 2012
(datelines from May 4 or later) (links correct as of May 21)

Editor's Note (I): This format change, of course, represents about News of the Weird 8.0 because I've promised so much this and so much that over the years. I'm optimistic. People evolve. Business models evolve. Writers free themselves. (But eventually, "Freedom's just another word for . . ..") Fair enough.

Editor's Note (II): Because I was away last week, the first two days of this grand experiment will consist of catching up with the backlog of news. Starting Wednesday, just a few cites a day.

★ ★ ★ ★!

They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To: Donnell Battie filed a $1m lawsuit against Walmart because a kid commandeered the store's loudspeaker and made an "all black people must leave the store" prank broadcast. Battie, presumably in the affected class, said listening to that announcement drove him to a doctor's care, for "severe and disabling emotional and psychological harm" Associated Press via ABC News

Weird People

Meanwhile, over on the Left Tail (of the Bell Curve): Keithan Manuel, 18, was arrested after allegedly trying to rob the dispatcher's desk at the Wilmer, Tex., police station. /// Calvin Hill, 54, was arrested after allegedly stabbing a 41-yr-old man in a fight over which one was getting more sex. /// A woman, threatened by a man while she was walking her dog in a Seattle park, started swinging her pooper scooper, and then he grabbed one, too, and they dueled until he ran away. KRLD-TV (Dallas) /// The Smoking Gun /// KOMO-TV (Seattle) via KVAL-TV (Eugene, Ore.)

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"

A Tennessee law took effect extending "abstinence" sex education by also scorning "gateway" activity that might possibly lead to sex, like hugging and kissing. MSNBC

A CNN investigation showed that Disabled Veterans National Foundation is like the ol' Roach Motel. Money comes in (up to $2bn) but doesn't go out--except in oh-so-useful "donations" like hand sanitizers, aprons, and cough drops. CNN

Take one part "Surplus of dental school grads with loans to repay"; add "Medicaid bump-ups as several states liberalize children's dental benefits"; add "Bain Capital-like private-equity firms trying to game the system practice capitalism by putting dentists on salary to set up in schools." Voila! You get Isaac Gagnon, 4, with two unnecessary baby root canals and steel crowns, plus 10 X-rays. And many more. Bloomberg News

Funny Old World*

A prestigious private boys' school in Bonn came under investigation for its longstanding practice of administering painkillers by suppository (but only in severe cases, the director said). Der Spiegel via The Local (Berlin)

There is still some bullfighting going on in the world, but Aproz, Switzerland, is the only place where you can see cows fight. (They take it seriously; they have anti-doping rules, for instance.) Wall Street Journal

From a Chinese blog, photos of a high school cram-session classroom with everyone hooked up to IV drips of amino acids, to help with the National College Entrance Exam. Without the drips, kids would lose too much time running to the infirmary for injections. Boing Boing

Touchingly, they still remember Josef Stalin in the Ukraine--but with a monument in which his pants are down, and he's shooting a stream at the nation. RIA Novasti (Moscow) [Link has an Agence France-Presse photo of the monument]

Medical Marvel: [It's been done before, famously, but I'm not No-Longer-Weirding it until I see it with my own eyes. It just can't be true.] Ms. Bat-El Panker "accidentally" swallowed (whole) her toothbrush, and it took a gastro-intestinal specialist at Carmel Hospital in Haifa, Israel, to remove it. YNet News (Tel Aviv)

News of the Weird 1.0

Again: This time, it was a 24-yr-old man in Stockholm, N.Y., who got a buddy to shoot him (in the leg) so he could find out what it felt like. Associated Press via WSYR-TV (Syracuse)

Again: Guys with illegal drugs sometimes hide them in their personal chute. A Rockingham, Vt., traffic stop nailed Alex Boulet, whose rectum was soon inventoried of 84 rocks of crack cocaine plus 218 Oxycodone pills plus 11 grams of marijuana. The Smoking Gun

Again: A grown man (Lyle Moodie, 53) insisted that the 16-yr-old girl he sexually assaulted was actually the aggressor. ("I pulled back and said [to her], 'No, stop.'") (Toronto)

Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:

If you're thinking of running a puppy mill, public opinion is already against you, and if you look like Cheri or George Burke, you might want to consider makeovers before you face the jurors.

Editor's Notes

Journalism 2.0: Example of how Germany's Bild plans to survive the newspaper downturn: a world map, color-coded by country according to the average size of women's breasts (though it likely overstates Germany). Business Insider

Capo Di Tutto Tack-o: When police raided this Italian mobster, they found "a temple to the Scarface school of grandiose design." (Photos include the "headache-inducing" tiny-tile-mosaic bathroom.) The Guardian (London) /// gallery

Thanks to Jay Scott, Esteban Bazan, and Perry Levin, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor.: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])

     Posted By: Chuck - Mon May 21, 2012

Welcome back, Chuck!

Tennessee: Sure, 'cause if you don't tell teens about kissing or petting, they'll never figure it out on their own.

JD: Keep 'em in their own kennels.

Capo di mosaico: "headache-inducing" only barely covers it. Although it did take my mind off the Jury Duty photos. Are we sure he's a mobster, and not a rapper?
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 05/21/12 at 08:30 AM
Walmart Shopper Some lawyers will do anything for a buck!

Gateway Sex I agree, Scotty, we didn't even have sex education and most of us figured it out all by ourselves. It sort'a came naturally.

Cow Fights And the one on PMS wins!

Jury Duty Why were they raising dogs?

Hooteren Measuren I thought we figured out that UK had the biggin's.

Capo Di Tutto What'a she'a make'a you-boat'a float. Eh?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 05/21/12 at 10:57 AM
Walmart- Following the 'sue the player with the deepest pockets' rule.

dueling scoopers- That had to be hilarious.

gateway- So hugging and kissing is to sex as pot is to drugs.

Vet foundation- Why oh why do the vets always get screwed. What a shame.

dental abuse- They should be charged with both fraud and child abuse.

private school- At those ages suppositories are for nausea, not meds that can be taken orally. They should be going to the doctor when sick.

cow fights- Cows are docile that is not right.

IVs- For tests, that is ridiculous.

Stalin statue- What a pisser.

Rec Aid- The bottomless drug store.

puppy mill owners- So ugly they're cute, NOT!

Tile- *BLINK* *BLINK* Wow.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 05/22/12 at 12:40 PM
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