Death Forever But Friendship by the Hour

News of the Weird Daily
Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Insanity defense fails for the boy who killed his mother for taking away his Halo 3
As punishment, they wouldn't let him "kill" aliens for a while. So, "Would you guys close your eyes? I have a surprise for you." The parents went along with it, and moments later, both were shot (Dad survived). The judge said the kid knew right from wrong and therefore was guilty, but added, astonishingly (since the kid was 15 yrs old at the time): "I firmly believe that [the boy] had no idea at the time he hatched this plot that if he killed his parents, they would be dead forever." Associated Press via WBBM Radio (Chicago)
Comments 'death_forever'

Relief coming soon for us nerds and other shut-ins
At the Adult Entertainment Expo in Vegas, the RealTouch was unveiled (about $150) and will go on sale next month. Men stick their clintons into one end of it and hook the other end by USB to their computers, and a video ($1/minute online) sends signals of what's happening on screen to supposedly make you believe you're the one doing it. Yee-hah! Agence France-Presse via Yahoo /// RealTouch.com
Comments 'real_touch'

The Way The World Works (continuing series)
It's historically been one of the poorer countries on Earth, and under the five yrs of Taliban rule so rudely interrupted by the U.S. in 2001, individual rights in Afghanistan were brutalized. On the other hand, the Quranic gov't was at least honest and kept the neighborhoods safe. On the other-other hand, the current gov't is a cesspool of corruption (both grand and petty); the opium trade is bigger than ever; and the divide between the almost-all-poor and the few super-rich now dwarfs the inequality in, say, Brazil. Progress! Washington Post
Comments 'afghanistan_progress'

Weird Japan (renting "friends"; starting a "smell club"; paying $104k for a tuna)
Evidently, you can rent almost anything you need in Japan, even face time with "professional pets" at cafes (dogs and cats, of course, but also a rabbit, a ferret, or a beetle). Or you can rent face time with a hot college co-ed (no sex, just an effervescent young thing acting interested). Or you can rent people to play your relatives at weddings and funerals, even expertly pretending to recall your favorite moments growing up. Or single mothers can rent dad to help with the kids. And more. BBC News
A Smell Club website (no English version yet) is a gathering place for "smellists" who submit what to them are distinct aromas of such and such (like "old sneakers after a three-hour workout"). You can't get the actual smell by Internet (yet!), but the idea is to have a database of everything that smells different than anything else. The Guardian
Two restaurants in Japan each bought half a bluefin tuna at auction for the equivalent of $104k. A high-end joint cuts its half into larger slivers, for which it charges about $22 each, and a popular dive cuts its half into 3,000 tinier ones, for about half that price. Buried Lede: People in Japan will pay $22 for a bite of fish. Wall Street Journal
Comments 'weird_japan'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Here's a gal who don't need no RealTouch: Emma Modrate, 26, is charged with "outraging public decency," which is the latest of her 32-item rap sheet. Does she look like she could be guilty of (a) being given permission by her boyfriend to service him in front of other people, three different times or (b) for that matter, acquiring a boyfriend in the first place (unless, of course, she's too great a "servicer" to pass up)? The Sun (London)
Comments 'emma_modrate'
     Posted By: Chuck - Tue Jan 13, 2009
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