Fairness for Defendants and for People Who Actually Did See a Sign from Mary or Jesus

News of the Weird Daily
Wednesday, January 14, 2009

British judge says accused robber can't get a fair trial because the testifying victim is "too believable"
She's so credible that the jury will slurp up every word she says, and that's unfair, so the judge dismissed the robbery charge and freed the defendant. (Seriously.) [Ed.: Actually, this has a solid basis in law, but I don't want to spoil it for you. If you're interested, see the Editor's Note at the bottom of today's post.] Daily Mail
Comments 'too_believable'

Good to see that the price of child-selling hasn't dropped in this recession
This 14-yr-old California girl went for $16k cash, plus 150 cases each of beer and soda, two cases of wine, and some meat. Bonus: Dad summoned the cops (calling the gal a "runaway") only because the buyer failed to pay up. Extra Bonus: Authorities believe that, since both buyer and seller are Mexican, the transaction (arranged marriage) would have been perfectly acceptable where they come from. Monterey County Herald via Houston Chronicle
Comments 'child_selling'

The Pope: From now on, y'all, only "legitimate" appearances of Mary and Jesus will be acceptable
Benedict'll use a step-by-step process to introduce rigor into claims of apparitions and stigmatas because all those spurious, delusional sightings are embarrassing the Church. Bleeding statues, reflections in windows, etc., will be denounced . . unless of course they're determined by this rigorous process to be actual signs from God. Those signs will be approved. Daily Mail (London)
Comments 'legitimate_apparitions'

More Things to Worry About

Two college football coaches, wrestling in a 4th-floor hotel room at a conference in Nashville, accidentally fell out the window (and one is in critical condition). Associated Press via The Tennessean

The auction price for Natalie Dylan's cherry is up to $3.7m, which is a lot more than the cost of grad school in Marriage and Family Therapy, which was what the San Diego woman originally wanted the money for. Daily Telegraph (London)

F State headline: "[Port St. Lucie] Man Swings Genitals, Displays Gang Signs . . ." (but only because a young punk had taunted him for doing laundry, so what would ya expect?). South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Nikolai Grushevski applied to be a waiter at a Hooters franchise on Texas's Padre Island and, guess what, didn't get the job (and won't let this sleeping-antidiscrimination-law-dog lie). Federal Court Complaint [link from CourthouseNews.com and Overlawyered.com]

Good to see that life goes on (during war in Gaza) for Prof. David Eilam and colleagues at Tel Aviv University, who want you to know that a New York City (Manhattan) structured-grid layout of a city is better than a New Orleans-style unstructured layout and that the way they found that out was by observing how easily rats traveled in the respective layouts. The Register (London)

Recurring Theme (still works in the Internet age, though not as well as it used to): If you buy up all the local newspapers early in the morning, it's harder for your neighbors to learn you've been arrested for possessing child porn. BBC News

Comments on Things to Worry About?
Comments 'worry_090114'

Your Daily Loser
Joel Rubin, 42, might still be loose, using that stolen credit card, if only he hadn't also tried to save money on the $11 sale by flashing his store discount card (in his own name). [Ed.: Yes. The logic of that is that he wanted to save the guy he stole the card from a buck or two.] Hartford Courant
Comments 'joel_rubin'

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Ms. Kelly Hunt, 22, might have a drinking problem, but that's no reason to go around "terroriz[ing]" people in Sleaford, England, by "pleasuring herself in public" and other acts. Lincolnshire Echo
Comments 'kelly_hunt'

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Shirley Tyndall was arrested for DUI in North Carolina, and it's important that we determine her guilt/innocence because her job, at the local jailhouse, is at stake. WRAL-TV (Raleigh)
Comments 'shirley_tyndall'

Editor's Note
[continued from the top story in this post] Actually, the judge thought the victim's eyewitness ID of the suspect was, er, suspect and that the credibility and likableness of the victim would have given the ID more legitimacy than it logically deserved. In reality, therefore, the judge was concluding that, to him, as a matter of law, the ID didn't show guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. But if you're a Fleet Street news editor, that explanation is more boring than "Victim 'too believable' so perp goes free."

Today's Newsrangers: Paul Music, Emmitt Dove, Albert Clawson, Ken Vermette, Michael Ravnitzky, Scott Langill, Steve Miller, Pete Randall, Mindy Cohen
     Posted By: Chuck - Wed Jan 14, 2009

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