Fetal Educator Strap

In the old days an "educator strap" was something teachers applied to a student's backside. (When I was a kid, some of my teacher's had canes which they used quite liberally, but I think that may be illegal now.)

However, this "fetal educator strap" (patent no. 6840775) is a learning system for fetuses while in utero:

More particularly, this invention pertains to a system for moving sound transmitters to positions most properly aligned with an unborn baby's ears.

I guess it's never too early to hook the kids on learning!

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Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Posted By: Alex - Wed Feb 25, 2009
Category: Patents

Comments

Alex, my condolences to you for having to be raised up in an era where child abuse by educators wasn't criminalized. Of course I don't remember anything about students shooting up other students either but hay! An enlightened era has it's ups and downs.

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/25/09 at 12:25 PM

That woman has no nipples. How will she breastfeed?

Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 02/25/09 at 12:33 PM

See piercing article below in Chuck's offerings.

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 02/25/09 at 12:44 PM

Forget the nipples, her stomach is so stretched out it's transparent! 🐛

Posted by DownCrisis on 02/25/09 at 12:58 PM

I'd like to know what she is doing with her right hand. I would have thought she would be attending to a wedgie but she's not wearing anything.

Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/25/09 at 02:39 PM

If I had known then what I know now...I would have played a recording of the times tables to my wife's belly when she would knocked up for my son.

Posted by Madd Maxx on 02/25/09 at 04:16 PM

Flimsy and suspect is what WU does best.

Posted by Nethie on 02/25/09 at 06:47 PM

My soon would react to Linkin Park! He still loves music like that and he's now 4. There may be a bit to it all.

Posted by DownCrisis on 02/25/09 at 10:19 PM

Did I say soon. I meant son. :red:

Posted by DownCrisis on 02/25/09 at 11:56 PM

Any of us who lived at any time during the hair metal era have a fear of hair gel and spandex. :sick:
Funny how guys thought they were so tough but looked like drag queen rejects. Give me combat boots, jeans, black t-shirt and a biker jacket any day.

Posted by DownCrisis on 03/01/09 at 12:39 PM

Thanks!

Posted by DownCrisis on 03/08/09 at 01:41 AM

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