Johnson Smith Catalog Item #26

It is generally understood that the necktie is a symbol of male virility. Thus, when the Marx Brothers or the Three Stooges cut someone's tie off while the fellow is wearing it, it is a symbol of emasculation, and we laugh.

So a necktie that instantly sproings erect on command is surely the best alpha-dog symbol of all! This is why Dilbert rules!

Just don't poke out anybody's eye with that thing!

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Alex Boese Alex is the creator and curator of the Museum of Hoaxes. He's also the author of various weird, non-fiction, science-themed books such as Elephants on Acid and Psychedelic Apes. Paul Di Filippo Paul has been paid to put weird ideas into fictional form for over forty years, in his career as a noted science fiction writer. Contact Us

Comments

I think Dilbert's always-upturned tie would be more like the socially-awkward, inappropriately timed, unbidden priapism that embarasses you when you have to give a presentation before your entire Junior High class.

Posted by Ross on 10/15/12 at 08:53 AM

Damn! I quit wearing ties too soon. :blank:

Anyhow wasn't some poof of a French king that started that whole craze anyhow?

Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 10/15/12 at 09:20 AM

So, what about the symbolism behind the squirting flower? Or the joy buzzer? I've never been able to figure out the rubber chicken. 🙄

Posted by KDP on 10/15/12 at 09:40 AM

So I see your tie is, um, happy to see me.
I bet you do that for all the girls, huh?
(ha ha ha ha ha ha)

The tie is for guys who never really talk to girls.
That's my guess.

Posted by girlgeniusNYC on 10/15/12 at 09:55 AM

I get a mental picture of 2 or 3 guys standing around the water cooler when a woman who resembles Loni Anderson on WKRP walks by and every tie goes SPROING!

Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 10/15/12 at 11:06 AM

Ross--I think you nailed the Dilbert symbolism precisely. In fact, the strip's creator has announced that if Dilbert ever has sex, it will be indicated by his tie lying flat.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=38985

Posted by Paul on 10/15/12 at 11:34 AM

I forwarded this link to Scott Adams .. we should see a WU tie "response" in a few weeks. Remember the strip is done weeks ahead.

Posted by BrokeDad in Midwest US on 10/15/12 at 04:57 PM

I always think of a tie as a leash, which shows you are being controlled.

Posted by Fritz on 10/16/12 at 12:00 PM

"Greatest comedy gag of the century!" indeed. Wonder what this century's greatest comedy gag would be?

Posted by Sebastian on 10/17/12 at 05:42 PM

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