Last Week in Weird (September 22, 2014)

Last Week in Weird
datelines 9/10/2014--9/19/2014
[Links, chronological, on Extended page]
Copyright 2014 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Ted Bundy Was Cuddly, Sometimes: Chimpanzees--even those with little or no human contact--are vicious, natural-born killers, prone to mob violence and leader-assassination (according to a team of 30 researchers writing last week in Nature).

Speaking of “Bundy,” Cliven’s in the news again. One of his cows got loose, wandered onto I-15, collided with a car. Cow gone, driver hospitalized, driver suing Bundy (whose chutzpah has allowed him to say that the hole in the fence that let the cow out was the responsibility of the gubment). (Bonus: Bundy’s thinking of suing the woman for the loss of his cow.)

Tacky: Los Angeles attorney Svitlana Sangary faces California Bar discipline for posting Photoshopped shots on her website that makes it appear as if she mingles with Obama, Clooney, Kardashian, Clinton, Biden, Schwarzenegger, and DiCaprio. [Also, with Trump and Dr. Phil, but those might be self-regulating.]

Least Competent (I): India’s new gov’t TV news channel had to “reassign” an anchorwoman for referring to China’s President Xi Jinping as “Eleven Jinping.” Seriously.

Recurring: Caught allegedly ripping off gov’t disability checks his disability insurance company by claiming he was “89% disabled” when he’s actually an MMA competitor and a contestant on TV’s Survivor: Blood vs. Water: former NFL star Brad Culpepper, who’s now a highly visible, prominent personal-injury attorney (and gym maniac) in Tampa. The company is suing.

The Job of the Researcher: “Liberals Smell Better to Other Liberals than to Conservatives” (says a barely-justified article in the American Journal of Political Science).

Questionable Judgment: American Matthew Miller wandered into North Korea in April, with a “wild ambition” to experience North Korean prison life in order to research its treatment of “human rights.” After a 90-minute trial for a trumped-up “espionage” charge, it was learned that Miller’s research would take place over a period of the next 6 yrs.

Least Competent (II): In its maiden mission, the brand-new Al-Qaeda in the Indian Subcontinent mistook a Pakistani Navy ship for its American target in port in Karachi, and all the Al-Qs were either killed or captured. [Ed. Note: Either that happened, or U.S. intel’s getting better at planting stories.]

Jim Bakker (with his reformed slut of a wife, Lori) no longer runs the Praise The Lord Club but rather competition, maybe, for Walmart--selling hundreds of items on his website, though they are termed “love gifts” sent as gratitude for donations to their ministry near Branson, Mo. There’s a range of Silver Solution products (great for health--unless it turns you blue and dead, which happens). Jewelry. Warm clothes. 93 Food Items, including Soynut Butter, Jim’s Favorite Ketchup, Vegetable and Fruit Powders. 22 Survival Items. A generator. Nothing’s offered at “sale” price, though. Holy Jesus!

Great Art! Opening soon in Beijing: I Am Stephon Marbury (“China’s first fusion of sports, music, dance, and multimedia for a sports-themed youth theater event”). Marbury was a college basketball whiz, NBA semi-failure, a whiz again in China’s pro league--and now an inspiration for all the carpetbagger-type people coming not from America to Beijing but from rural China to Beijing. (He has only a small role in his own production, since he doesn’t do Mandarin.) (Bonus: There is an actual Stephon Marbury statue in front of his team’s arena.)

First World Dilemmas: “It’s definitely a thing,” said a NYC plastic surgeon, referring not to Ebola but to women who seek lipo on their, um, calves . . so that the hot new winter boots will fit over their pudgy lower legs. The horror! Plus, the recuperation time is up to 10 months, so surgery this yr is for the fall season next year.

Wait, What? ”Mucus-Harvesting Drone Could Help Researchers Study Whales” (Well, they need to check whales’ stress levels, and mucus provides the most reliable breakdowns, but it’s super-icky to go out in a boat and wait until the whale blows a snot rocket from its blowhole, so--.)

Lede Sentence (from Agence France-Presse via Yahoo News) Says It All: “A defrocked Catholic priest was found guilty Friday of raping dozens of children and a dog in the Canadian Arctic.” [ed.: Any questions?]

Update [dateline 8-20-2014]: Kopi Luwak, the coffee from pre-shat beans that News of the Weird first mentioned in 1993, is such old news that a Canadian entrepreneur is now taking it to elephants, to pre-poop beans coming through pachyderms (better, because they’re herbivores, and not the carnivores necessary for Kopi Luwak, which comes from wild Asian cats).
     Posted By: Chuck - Mon Sep 22, 2014

vicious chimp- Just ask the lady that got her face eaten by a 'pet' chimp a while back.

Cow vs car- That idiot should be responsible for the whole thing. (cow owner)

Photoshopped photo ops- Oops, got caught!

Eleven- That's what they get for always choosing looks over intelligence for those jobs.

liberal smell- Pheromones and likes attract, that's all.

6yrs- Be careful what you ask for. Think he will ever really get out at all.

Jim Bakker- He's just a con man and religion is his con.

calf surgery- Vanity, so ridiculous.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 09/22/14 at 06:08 PM
Ted Bundy liked to cuddle with his victims post-homicide, so there's that...
Posted by crc on 09/22/14 at 10:54 PM
Cliven is in the right since it is open range out there ..... I saw this once years ago in Colorado. Motorcycle with two people broadsided a cow ... 6 months in the local hospital ..... no recourse because it was open range.
Posted by somebodysomewhere on 09/23/14 at 12:19 PM
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