Midwest Division’s Friday Feast: May, 15 2009
Teacher Fights Graffiti with English Lesson; Milwaukee, Wisc
Responding to the tagger’s query of “Where da bitches at?” teacher Beth Biskobing at South Milwaukee High School posted a bright red 8 ½ x 11 response including “The use of the verb are allows you to write a COMPLETE SENTENCE. (Without it, you have a fragment, of course - missing the predicate of the sentence. The subject is dogs.)” she wrote. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Liquor Thief Leaves Enters Raffle, Loses; Hartford, Wisc
Upon leaving the liquor store the thief, Sean M. Piering, had shoved the liquor bottle in his pants and then filled out a raffle ticket complete with his name and address. He was found at his home drunk and turned over the store’s missing bottles. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Burning Stupidity; Wheeling Ill
A man in Wheeling, Illinois was cited for “open burning.” He was burning construction debris at a construction site only ten feet from a truck with an external fuel tank. Chicago Tribune
3,000 Gather for Shiny New Lincoln Pennies; Lincoln Ind
An estimated 3,000 people (presumably numismatists and Lincoln fans) showed up at Lincoln State Park in Lincoln, Indiana to get rolls of pennies with a picture of Lincoln reading a book while taking a break from rail splitting on the back. The penny is to commemorate the 14 years Lincoln spent living in a frontier town in Indiana. Indy Star
Hammer Vs. Screwdriver Fight Ends in Ear Biting; Kenosha, WI
Kenosha Police arrested Antoine K. Parks after an argument escalated into a fight and ended in a Tyson-style ear biting. The victim alleges that Antoine came after him with a hammer and he picked up a screwdriver in response. In the struggle, it is alleged, that Antoine bit off part of the mans ear. Mayhem charges are pending. Kenosha News
Ex Gov. Blago Shampoo: It’s Bleep’n Golden; Elk Grove Village, Ill
A new product available from makers in Elk Grove Village, Ill: Blago shampoo and conditioner. The shampoo is advertised as “volumizing for really big hair” and “it’s bleep’n golden!” Editorial Comment: I think this is the way to go if you want hair that looks like a Lego man. Blago Hair Blalegovich
Responding to the tagger’s query of “Where da bitches at?” teacher Beth Biskobing at South Milwaukee High School posted a bright red 8 ½ x 11 response including “The use of the verb are allows you to write a COMPLETE SENTENCE. (Without it, you have a fragment, of course - missing the predicate of the sentence. The subject is dogs.)” she wrote. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Liquor Thief Leaves Enters Raffle, Loses; Hartford, Wisc
Upon leaving the liquor store the thief, Sean M. Piering, had shoved the liquor bottle in his pants and then filled out a raffle ticket complete with his name and address. He was found at his home drunk and turned over the store’s missing bottles. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Burning Stupidity; Wheeling Ill
A man in Wheeling, Illinois was cited for “open burning.” He was burning construction debris at a construction site only ten feet from a truck with an external fuel tank. Chicago Tribune
3,000 Gather for Shiny New Lincoln Pennies; Lincoln Ind
An estimated 3,000 people (presumably numismatists and Lincoln fans) showed up at Lincoln State Park in Lincoln, Indiana to get rolls of pennies with a picture of Lincoln reading a book while taking a break from rail splitting on the back. The penny is to commemorate the 14 years Lincoln spent living in a frontier town in Indiana. Indy Star
Hammer Vs. Screwdriver Fight Ends in Ear Biting; Kenosha, WI
Kenosha Police arrested Antoine K. Parks after an argument escalated into a fight and ended in a Tyson-style ear biting. The victim alleges that Antoine came after him with a hammer and he picked up a screwdriver in response. In the struggle, it is alleged, that Antoine bit off part of the mans ear. Mayhem charges are pending. Kenosha News
Ex Gov. Blago Shampoo: It’s Bleep’n Golden; Elk Grove Village, Ill
A new product available from makers in Elk Grove Village, Ill: Blago shampoo and conditioner. The shampoo is advertised as “volumizing for really big hair” and “it’s bleep’n golden!” Editorial Comment: I think this is the way to go if you want hair that looks like a Lego man. Blago Hair Blalegovich
Comments
Teacher Fights Graffiti: Ah, I do loves me a grammar nazi - or as I read on a t-shirt, bad grammar makes me [sic].
Posted by shadowkat on 05/15/09 at 11:19 PM
First, I wanted to say thank you to Kenosha News, my hometown paper, for writing an article about the oral removal of an earlobe including a hand-tool fight. It's almost as good as the guy who fell into the industrial chipper and fertilized a lawn with himself. (kids this is why you buy life insurance)
Also, now I cannot think of Blago without thinking Lego! Oh man. I am going to have to go Lego shopping now.
Does anyone else think it's weird that the penny says "In god we trust" with a picture of Lincoln on it? What a marketing campaign for Lincoln if you ask me. Now, we can have a penny with "God" resting and reading a good book.
Also, now I cannot think of Blago without thinking Lego! Oh man. I am going to have to go Lego shopping now.
Does anyone else think it's weird that the penny says "In god we trust" with a picture of Lincoln on it? What a marketing campaign for Lincoln if you ask me. Now, we can have a penny with "God" resting and reading a good book.
Posted by chris_cantwell in Trevor, WI on 05/15/09 at 11:21 PM
Burning - Psssh, lightweight. I once saw a landscaper, sitting on top of a dumptruck sized load of palm fronds, a gas powered clipper on his lap, smoking a cigarette. Epic. 😝
Posted by Jmonkeh on 05/18/09 at 01:59 PM
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Category: Midwest Divisions Friday Feast