Monitor grandma’s health via her butt

A new gadget, the VISSEIRO Smart Chair Pad, promises to allow people to remotely monitor the health of loved ones via a seat cushion. When someone (a grandmother, for example) sits on the cushion, it's able to record various vital signs through her buttocks. It can then send this info to an app on the phone of the granddaughter, offering reassurance that grandma is still alive and doing well.

My question is: if the vital signs flatline, how do you know if grandma is dead, or has simply stood up?

More info:

     Posted By: Alex - Fri Sep 20, 2019
     Category: Health | Inventions

I enjoy broccoli salads and cabbage soup. The resulting gaseous expulsions will clear a room. What would the phone display show after one of those events, eh?

agent j
Posted by agent j on 09/20/19 at 08:59 AM
Wait until employers get a hold of this. I see lawsuits in the future.
Posted by KDP on 09/20/19 at 09:50 AM
Considering elderly people do a lot of sitting, thickly idea actually makes sense.
Posted by Brian on 09/20/19 at 11:15 AM
If Grandma hasn't sit on the cushion for more than twelve hours, it's time to send the ambulance.
Posted by Yudith on 09/21/19 at 06:57 PM
@Yudith -- Not necessarily.

I visited a great-aunt. When she didn't answer the doorbell after a reasonable time, I started looking through the windows to see if anything was wrong. I saw her walk out of her bedroom. I barely got around to the front door in time to be there when she opened it. The thing was, when I first saw her, she wasn't using her walker or wearing her wool cap. She was when she opened the door.

Intrigued by the fact that she wasn't so decrepit when no one was around, and since I was stuck with checking on her every day until her regular home aide came back from vacation, I . . . well, I won't say 'spied,' but I did check on a few things. She never seemed to sit in 'her' chair with the afghan and pillow, table with meds on one side, bookcase on the other, when no one was there, but her late husband's recliner, which faced the tv, got used (including being at full recline (which was a heavy thing to set upright afterwards)). Several other things ('previous channel' button on the cable box, vodka bottle in the pie safe, etc.) showed she wasn't the frail little at-death's-door pitiful soul we were all led to believe she was.
Posted by Phideaux on 09/21/19 at 09:54 PM
Just tell Wonder Aunt that you hesitated between the cushion and hidden cameras but decided to try the cushion first. She will definitely sit on this cushion.
Posted by Yudith on 09/22/19 at 07:27 AM
I had another thought. What happens when the cat decides to sit on the cushion? Grandma's vital signs are going to look awfully strange.
Posted by Alex on 09/22/19 at 07:43 AM
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