[News] Chuck’s Links for Friday, April 17, 2009
[Ed.: and maybe it's just me, but these all sound like Recurring Themes]
Yet another variety of DUI: joyriding a steamroller while drunk (Bonus: The cop said he could tell that the 'roller was "weaving" all over the road). KTBC-TV (Austin, Tex.)
Shot in the chest, but saved when the bullet couldn't penetrate the . . wad of money she had stuffed in her bra. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo
A convicted child molester had his stuff bitten off . . by his own self (only the tip, though; he's not that big). New York Daily News
A Louisiana man, 54, stabbed his brother, 63, in an argument over a can of pork 'n' beans. Associated Press via Yahoo
Apparently, no flashlights in Fort Dodge, Iowa: It was dark under the sofa so he used a cigarette lighter to look around. Des Moines Register
Carmen Canas, 28, burned the hell out of herself when she tried to heat the cosmetic hot wax in a microwave and didn't handle the container very well taking it out, which of course is the cosmetics company's fault, said her lawyer. WPIX-TV (New York City)
A Kenyan man prevailed in a three-hour,.life-or-death struggle with a 13-ft-long python that had actually dragged him up a tree and was preparing to swallow him (but the man used his shirt to block the snake's mouth) (Yikes). BBC News
[Jury Duty] Lawrence Hembd [yeah, Hembd], 40, Port Orchard, Wash., might be testimony for the proposition that meth muddles one's sense of fashion. Kitsap Sun (Kitsap, Wash.)
[Jury Duty Bonus] Let's hope the next 21 yrs aren't as rough on the face of Joshua Griffin, 21, Galveston, Tex., as the first 21 have apparently been for the alleged purse-snatcher. KRIV-TV (Houston)
Today's Newsrangers: Max Simms, Cindy Hildebrand, Stephen Taylor, Kathryn Wood, Bruce Alter
Yet another variety of DUI: joyriding a steamroller while drunk (Bonus: The cop said he could tell that the 'roller was "weaving" all over the road). KTBC-TV (Austin, Tex.)
Shot in the chest, but saved when the bullet couldn't penetrate the . . wad of money she had stuffed in her bra. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo
A convicted child molester had his stuff bitten off . . by his own self (only the tip, though; he's not that big). New York Daily News
A Louisiana man, 54, stabbed his brother, 63, in an argument over a can of pork 'n' beans. Associated Press via Yahoo
Apparently, no flashlights in Fort Dodge, Iowa: It was dark under the sofa so he used a cigarette lighter to look around. Des Moines Register
Carmen Canas, 28, burned the hell out of herself when she tried to heat the cosmetic hot wax in a microwave and didn't handle the container very well taking it out, which of course is the cosmetics company's fault, said her lawyer. WPIX-TV (New York City)
A Kenyan man prevailed in a three-hour,.life-or-death struggle with a 13-ft-long python that had actually dragged him up a tree and was preparing to swallow him (but the man used his shirt to block the snake's mouth) (Yikes). BBC News
[Jury Duty] Lawrence Hembd [yeah, Hembd], 40, Port Orchard, Wash., might be testimony for the proposition that meth muddles one's sense of fashion. Kitsap Sun (Kitsap, Wash.)
[Jury Duty Bonus] Let's hope the next 21 yrs aren't as rough on the face of Joshua Griffin, 21, Galveston, Tex., as the first 21 have apparently been for the alleged purse-snatcher. KRIV-TV (Houston)
Today's Newsrangers: Max Simms, Cindy Hildebrand, Stephen Taylor, Kathryn Wood, Bruce Alter
Comments
Jury Duty
WTF is that hanging from his chin? Does he think he's Fu Man Chu? Guilty for looking so stupid.
WTF is that hanging from his chin? Does he think he's Fu Man Chu? Guilty for looking so stupid.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 04/17/09 at 07:44 AM
Louisiana man
Lived here my whole life and I have never realized that we take our pork'n'beans so seriously.
Lived here my whole life and I have never realized that we take our pork'n'beans so seriously.
Posted by Madd Maxx on 04/17/09 at 07:45 AM
Steamroller - He says he took the steamroller cause he was tired of walking in the cold. But steamrollers don't usually have enclosed seats, so wouldn't it be colder to ride one than to walk?
Shot in the chest - Maybe we should send some money-lined vests to our troops.
Pork 'n' beans - Alcohol was involved.
Cosmetic hot wax - On the plus side, she won't have to worry about hair growing on her arm anymore.
Jury Duty - He may be guilty, but he was smart enough to leave the courthouse before the verdict was in, so that makes him smarter than any of the other criminals we've had to judge lately.
Jury Duty Bonus - Guilty. And he should be made to pay the medical expenses of the woman who broke her leg trying to catch him.
Shot in the chest - Maybe we should send some money-lined vests to our troops.
Pork 'n' beans - Alcohol was involved.
Cosmetic hot wax - On the plus side, she won't have to worry about hair growing on her arm anymore.
Jury Duty - He may be guilty, but he was smart enough to leave the courthouse before the verdict was in, so that makes him smarter than any of the other criminals we've had to judge lately.
Jury Duty Bonus - Guilty. And he should be made to pay the medical expenses of the woman who broke her leg trying to catch him.
Posted by Nethie on 04/17/09 at 07:49 AM
Just the Tip - It makes you wonder why a man would need to satisfy his urges with children when he's flexible enough to take care of business by himself.
Jury Duty - Guilty! Ugly!
Jury Duty Bonus - Babyface is guilty.
Jury Duty - Guilty! Ugly!
Jury Duty Bonus - Babyface is guilty.
Posted by kingmonkey in Athens, Ontario on 04/17/09 at 08:41 AM
He bit the end of his own penis off? hahahahahahahahaha, now that's freakin hysterical :lol:
Posted by Skitt in SW USA on 04/17/09 at 04:03 PM
Carmen "my microwaved wax burned me" Canas ~ I suspect her lead attorney is Jackie Chiles.
Posted by Skitt in SW USA on 04/17/09 at 05:16 PM
Steamroller DUI - he was driving a "Dynapac Vibrator Roller" - if it does what I think it does, I want one!
Couch Fire - the article didn't say anything but I'm guessing alcohol was involved in this as well.
Wax burn - I *HATE* those stupid product liability lawsuits. She's just out for a quick buck! I've used those products before and they are very specific about the heating. Duh! Dumba$$.
Jury Duty - gotta love it "If found, he faces between 7 and 12 years in prison, Schnepf said." - notice that says "IF found" not "WHEN found" ha ha -- and what was with the braided beard? That's way past goofy.
Jury Duty Bonus - ha ha he got beat up by a lady twice his age! How stupid to commit a crime twice in the same place with a big ol' identifying tatoo on your neck. Alas, if they weren't stupid then I would actually have to be doing work instead of hanging on WU! 😊
Couch Fire - the article didn't say anything but I'm guessing alcohol was involved in this as well.
Wax burn - I *HATE* those stupid product liability lawsuits. She's just out for a quick buck! I've used those products before and they are very specific about the heating. Duh! Dumba$$.
Jury Duty - gotta love it "If found, he faces between 7 and 12 years in prison, Schnepf said." - notice that says "IF found" not "WHEN found" ha ha -- and what was with the braided beard? That's way past goofy.
Jury Duty Bonus - ha ha he got beat up by a lady twice his age! How stupid to commit a crime twice in the same place with a big ol' identifying tatoo on your neck. Alas, if they weren't stupid then I would actually have to be doing work instead of hanging on WU! 😊
Posted by vegas_girl in Vegas Baby!! on 04/17/09 at 05:49 PM
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