News of the Weird (1-1-2013)
News of the Weird
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule
Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
in disrepute? What about India's? A respected political action group said 162 out of 552 members of the lower Parliament face criminal charges (up to rape), 6 state legislators face rape charges, and 36 other local pols are charged with crimes against women.
Wall Street Journal
Ms. Aubrey Ireland, 21, a music prodigy at the Univ. of Cincinnati, went to court for a keep-away order against two stalkers who were constantly harassing her: her parents. They hung out on campus and spread rumors that she put out and had mental issues. Evidence is the brain is on the other foot.
Japan’s pornography industry, which somehow remains robust even though required to pixelate all thingers and hoo-hahs, treats its stars at least as well as America’s B-list actresses, so when Uta Kohaku asked her fans to send her vials of their bodily essence for her latest oeuvre
Semen Collection 2
, many shamelessly responded--more than the 100 she expected. “I will care for them as if it were my own child,” she said, reassuringly.
It isn’t yet the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, but ya never can tell. When unranked Bulgarian chess player Borislav Ivanov beat three Croatian grandmasters in a tournament last week, officials strip-searched him. They didn’t find anything, but Bulgarians weren’t happy.
Sofia News Agency
Let’s get this straight. The European Union is still teetering on collapse in large part because Spain can’t balance a checkbook, and still, it has ceremonial food fights? The August La Tomatina festival is the most famous, but each December 28th, the “Enfarinats” “take over” the town, institute some strange laws, and then “La Oposicio” runs them off by throwing food at them (mostly flour bombs).
New York Daily News
In this week’s
(12-30-2012)*, please change Mr. Jason Schall’s fishing experience from a “lake” behind his home to some sort of saltwater body behind his home. (I don’t think it’s a “fjord,” but I do long to use “fjord” in a story.) (Also, I wrote “brain on the other foot” just to see if anyone reads my posts.)
[* On 1-6-2013, this link changes to
There, That Was Easy:
Next week’s NOTW (M300, 1-6-2013) will be the, umm, 1,300th (i.e., Roman M plus 300), which factors to 52 times 25, which means birthday number 25. Yr Editor would be prouder of that if it weren’t for the fact that when I started, I had so many options for my life but at this moment,
News of the Weird
is absolutely the only thing I know how to do. Thus, I won’t be stopping . . . ever.
Year-end news-sorting brings forth the September arrest of recidivist exposure cutie Lee Hazen Williamson, 57, at the Chalet Motel in Lakeport, Calif.
The Smoking Gun
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Posted By: Chuck -
Tue Jan 01, 2013
More weirdness from the WU archive:
Mad Plan to Unleash Destruction by Bombing Volcanoes, 1944
The World’s First Vibrating Bra, 1971
Peanut Butter and Jelly Flavored Vodka
"Brain on the other foot" -- very clever.
Always love news about Cincinnati.
Fyord, lake, stream, sea, ocean. It's water, right??
MCCC. 1,300 in Roman numerals.
Rock on Chuck!
Posted by girlgeniusNYC in los angeles on 01/01/13 at 05:05 PM
politicians- Well see there, our politicians aren't the worst criminals in the world after all.
stalking parents- Wow, I wonder what made the parents go off the deep end like that. It was impressive that the school gave her a full ride scholarship for her last year like that too.
Japanese porn- What the hell is she going to really do with all that...stuff? They do the craziest over there.
chess- Sore losers!
Food fight- I expect that effective cuts would start elsewhere. This has got to be a drop in the bucket.
Of course we read your posts sweetie! You are the King of weid news! Happy silver aniversary, 25 more and it will turn to gold.
cross dresser- With his hair he resembles Mrs.Garrison from South Park.
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 01/01/13 at 06:21 PM
in any other language be less sleazy?
What's with this "Brain on the other foot" thing? Patty, isn't Ohio your stomping ground? Google comes back with this
An oxymoron if ever there was one! But, of course, I speak from an academic position as I'd NEVER stoop so low as to subject myself to the actual material. No! Really!
It's taken very seriously over this-a-way and woe unto them that disrespect it!
Spain vs Food:
At least, at these 2 festivals the "food" is being put to some use but the 5,000 kiwis that had to be destroyed because they were "too small" were just wasted.
Congrats on the milestone!
That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop, the Weird News Zone!
Sorry, Chuck, didn't have time to read your post this week. Very, very busy but I'll try to catch up soon.
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 01/02/13 at 12:10 AM
Of course we read your posts! I kept checking the blogspot while you were out in case you were posting in secret!
Posted by Will on 01/02/13 at 11:50 AM
Well, I noticed, but it is the kind of Chuckism we love. The variant I immediately thought of was:
Shoe was on the other lobe.
Oh and I always hear the work fjord in the Swedish chef voice:
fjordy fjordy fjord
Posted by redneckhippynerd in TX on 01/02/13 at 05:48 PM
I've missed you Chuck. It was my main reason for coming to the universe!
Posted by MNIcelady in Minneapolis Minnesoda on 01/13/13 at 09:15 PM
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