News of the Weird (1-23-2013)

The News of the Weird Blog
Angst, Confusion, Cynicism, Ridicule

Hand-Picked and Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
Wednesday, January 23, 2013

© 2013 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Tokyo: It says here* that a marketing firm is recruiting popular “girls” (18-and-up) to wear advertising stickers on their legs between the hem of a short skirt and the top of tall socks and just walk around, on the supposition that that’s where men look, anyway. [* This story is so far reported only in London’s Daily Telegraph, and ID’s the marketing firm as “Wit Inc,” which is apparently this one but whose work is not well reported in English, so we’ll have to take the newspaper’s word for all this.] Daily Telegraph

Detroit: Bishop Wayne T. Jackson wants YouTube cleansed of a video showing his consecration style at his Impact Ministries International. He’s in full robes, lying on top of the new bishops, also in robes, as they pray. Comments left on the bishop’s Facebook page have apparently been so-o-o gay. Associated Press via WJBK-TV

Jackson, Miss.: The ACLU and another group alleged that the state uses “arrest” as a viable option in schools, to improve discipline. But readers’ imagination is required to process an arrest for farting, for instance. And a 5-yr-old kid was arrested for violating a dress code (have to “send a message,” y’know). The kid’s mom had used a marker to color red-white sneakers the required black. New York Times /// Yahoo News

Dangers of Smoking: In Germany a 2-yr-old accidentally locked his grandpa on the balcony, sending him into hypothermia, when the man stepped out for a smoke. And in Russia, a man had to chase a train in the snow after he fell off standing between cars on a smoke break. The Local (Berlin) /// RIA-Novosti (Moscow)

Juneau, Wis.: Hard, hard times. Two strippers were cited for disorderly conduct for brawling over a customer’s tip ($1). La Crosse Tribune

Morristown, N.J.: A potential world record was set for the shortest time lapse between “started new job” and “broke bad.” Police said Tyrone Harris, 26, was on the job at Dunkin Donuts for about 20 minutes when he swiped around $2,000 from a drawer and left (saying he’d “finish training” later). (Newark)

Jury Duty ([In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]): From last week’s The Smoking Gun collection, a man with zero chance of acquittal for domestic battery. The Smoking Gun

     Posted By: Chuck - Wed Jan 23, 2013

Tokyo Ad Girls This make more sense than the old sandwich boards.

Bishop Wayne I watched the link and 2 things happened:
#1 My gaydar was a pingin' like to broke the needle
#2 I remembered this.

Dangers of Smoking Yea! And higher taxes on demon tobacco too!

Mississippi Education No comment, I've had my fill of stupid for the week.

Juneau, Wis. I thought that was the floor show!

Dunkin' Donut Yo! Dude! That's Dunkin' not Dippin'.

<b>Jury Duty</i> Argggggg, Ahoy matey! Will it be the plank or the jib, me hearty?
Posted by Expat47 in Athens, Greece on 01/23/13 at 09:48 AM
Thigh ads: that is, indeed, where men look. And women, too, except not kindly, since they're mostly not into the product usually being advertised. I wonder what the Japanese for "Kids these days!" is.

Mississippi: has anyone explained that 50th is not the highest rating, even if 50 is a bigger number than 1?

Bishop Wayne: Get thee behind me, Satan! Expat, the needle on mine didn't quite break either, but it sure is bent.

Smoking kills: says it right on the packet. What, you thought that cancer was the only option?
Posted by TheCannyScot in Atlanta, GA on 01/23/13 at 01:53 PM
Mug Shot: I though Jerry Garcia died in 1995. Is he the new Elvis?

Tabloids screamed,
"Jerry Seen In A Shopping Mall!"
That's the kind of talk that makes my stomach crawl.
Imagine a zombie Jerry in a patchouli scented jump suit.
Imagine a rotting Jerry shopping for fresh fruit.

You can't. Because Jerry is dead...
Posted by KDP on 01/23/13 at 04:58 PM
ads- I am sure these girls parents are sooo proud too.

Bishop- Wayne is his first, not middle name, so he is a perv not a mass murderer!

arrested kids- Well, if everyone has a felony by senior year then the gun control proponents will win by attrition.

$1- Its the economy I tell ya!

domestic violence- She should sneak up on his blind side and get even!
Posted by Patty in Ohio, USA on 01/23/13 at 08:21 PM
ads: There seem to be pictures, anyway:
Posted by jswolf19 in Japan on 01/24/13 at 10:25 AM
oh man, I got lost in there once, so when I came out years later I know more about certain things that I would've liked.

Any way, here's a link:
Posted by Anon on 01/25/13 at 06:28 PM
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